Confessions of a Fat Runner

Confessions of a Fat Runner: Alone With God

2011-12-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

Confessions of a Fat Runner: Alone With God

Alone With God

2011-12-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here typing, when I should be working, watching the clock. At 1:00 pm I finally get to see the surgeon that I'm praying will take this infernal gallbladder out. I find myself sitting in a classroom with 25 kids, but I'm all alone as I converse with God. I feel good about today. I pray Dr. Wyatt will be the latest angel to come to my rescue. I pray he will listen to my words and look upon me with compassion. He has the power to move me into surgery this week. I pray God will speak into his heart and he will do that for me.

As I've talked to God in silent prayer all morning, he's given me a tremendous sense of comfort and peace. I've asked him for a Christmas miracle. Having this surgery this week would be the best Christmas present I could ever have. To spend Christmas morning with my family as I recover and feel better would awesome. Just knowing all these health issues are going to be put to rest gives me a sense of nervous anticipation, but I don't want to undercut God. HE will care for me and I know that. He's seen fit to place angels all around me.

No matter what the outcome, I live in the here and now, not for tomorrow. I rejoice in the situation but pray for a wonderful, inspiring resolution to a two-month bout with the worst health issues I've ever faced. I've never had to face them alone. God has been right there and sends legions of angels to defend me.

So, as the morning progresses and I inch toward my appointment, I will continue to praise God and talk to him. I seek his will for me in this day. I am tired, but enthused today by what God is doing. I'm just ready to put this part of my life behind me, but never forget all the lessons I've learned. Praise be to the God of the storm who gently walks with us through it, holding our hands and protecting us from evil.

Time for more prayer. Gotta go.

The Longest Run

2011-12-17T07:33:00.000-08:00

5 years ago, this past November, I ran/walked 50 miles to raise money for diabetes. My daughter, Melissa, ran some of it with me, while my wife, Angela, slowly led the way in her Explorer. Alicia showed up from Oklahoma with a car-load of her friends to surprise us all on the journey in toward Amarillo. It was a day I'll never forget--November 4, 2006.

Fast forward to another day that is ever-present on my mind: October 17, 2011. That was day my doctor, whom I'd seen for some pain in my lower stomach, sent me to BSA to have a CT-scan performed. After reading my initial lab work there at his office, he became concerned about a possible infection, so he sent me for more tests. Little did I know that day would become the beginning of the longest run of my life.

I've been a runner for 16 years, running 5 and 10K races, logged a half marathon, some long trail runs, and traversed the monumental day in November 2006. I've stood over my daughter, Melissa's bed and watched her fight for her life as she languished in a diabetic coma. Thanks be to God she awakened and lived. That same year my wife had a stroke coming out of knee surgery. My oldest daughter, Alicia, had a serious car accident that gave her a serious infection. The Paxtons are no strangers to adversities. Or so I thought.

It's one thing to watch someone else go through pain and suffering and quite another when it's your own. October 17 began a long run for me that's still going. The results of that CT scan showed I did, indeed, have a lower GI infection and an abnormality in my bladder. This caused my doctor great concern, so he referred me to a gastroenterologist. My primary care physician, Marc Irwin, is one of the nicest, most godly men you'll ever meet. He is so compassionate and was greatly worried for me.

About a week or so later, I entered the world of Dr. Thannoun, a GI doc. Having taught his son, I was well aware of him and heard he was a very thorough physician. He sent me for yet another CT scan, this time with all the junk I had to drink and stuff shot in my veins. It revealed some abnormalities that he decided to pursue in an upper GI scoping. The results of all blood, urine, labs, and scopings showed I had some inflammation, but the infection was passing.

Back the truck up just a sec so I can explain the arduous, disgusting way the infection was cured. Dr. Irwin prescribed Cipro, a strong antibiotic. This stuff made me so sick. I couldn't eat, sleep, or do much. I began to lose weight and started missing work. I felt so yucky it was hard to face each day with any sort of enthusiasm. Yet, my God was there and walked me through it all and we got through it.

Now, back to results of the scope. Thannoun said I should start feeling better, to continue taking the prescription antacids for the now horrible acid reflux I had developed and he'd see me at the follow-up. I thought that would be the end of it. It wasn't.

The acid in my gut keep getting worse. I would have a lot of tossing and turning and more sleepless nights. I couldn't eat well and lost even more weight. I began at 228 and by now was down to 215 when I hit Dr. Irwin's door again on November 11. He got me on something that would ease the suffering and "guaranteed" I would eat Thanksgiving dinner. Two weeks later, he was right, but I paid for it in the way I felt all that night.

All this time I'd been praying faithfully, asking God for relief, telling him I'd change whatever it took in my heart if that's what he wanted. And it seemed like things still weren't getting any better. Why? What was wrong with me? But I wanted to remain faithful to God, so I kept praying.

We hit the end of November and began heading into December. I started trying to exercise again, which my doctor thought would be good for me. I'd lost close to 20 pounds, had begun hanging with the Beachbody crowd from school, and drinking Shakeology protein shakes since they were easier on my tummy. The acid reflux was still around, making it tough to eat or drink the coffee I loved and had every morning. All of the sudden, I began to have a slight, dull burn in my right side. Both Dr. Irwin and me thought maybe I'd overdone it a bit doing the Insanity workout. Yes, I'm crazy. Little did we know how wrong we were.

On December 11, I was sent for a HIDA scan which is a nuclear test done to determine gallbladder activity. I prayed pretty hard that morning and really thought in my mind, "This can't be my gallbladder." Well, the next day confirmed I would need to have that puppy removed. Hallelujah! Although I was a little down at the news, I at least had answers as to why I felt so bad. By now the acid reflux had been subsiding so that's why the latest prognosis left me a little taken aback. But, if this was the way to get the healing I needed, let it be. Praise God! The next day, the surgeon's nurse called to schedule the consult. This was going to be it.

By Thursday, the 13th I was a wreck. I hurt all over and I could feel a twinge in my bladder. I had to urinate frequently which wasn't good. So, I got up Friday morning and called my urologist, Dr. Wilhelm, who immediately prescribed some medication to ease the discomfort. All day I prayed to God, asking him for relief. I believe he answered me because as I was about to leave school to go to the ER, the surgeon's nurse returned me call. I told her I was miserable and had bladder discomfort and would just go to the ER and perhaps they could remove my gallbladder over the weekend. She said in her 30-years experience there was no way my bladder pain was coming from the gallbladder. So, I wound up back at my good and faithful doctor, Marc Irwin. I now believe that was an intervention from God, sparing me from the ER. Dr. Irwin rushed me in, took a urine sample, and confirmed the inevitable--a bladder infection. My urologist had suspected some cystitis in our earlier visit, but wanted to hang in there and see what happened with the gallbladder. So, back on antibiotics I went and now here we are today with me writing about this whole experience. It has made me feel better to put it into words.

My hope and prayer is my Monday surgical consult will go well. That my infection will cease and Dr. Wilhelm, whom I respect tremendously, will find a way to get to cause of my bladder woes, resolve them, and I can still have my surgery in a matter of weeks.

Now, for the good part. All this time, as I stated earlier, I've been asking God to grow patience in me--to change my heart. I don't want to be the same Gregg Paxton when I come out of this. You notice I said when because I believe I'm going to get well. I can't be the same guy. The guy that worried about finances and sweated all the small stuff in life. Who made my family miserable on vacations, what few we've taken, because of trying to adhere to schedules or watching every penny. I can't be the same guy that looked at people in the world and only saw the outer covering and ignoring the pain in their hearts and looking for Jesus in them. I want to smash the old Gregg Paxton into bits and leave him behind. Like my Savior, my sweet Jesus, I want to arise resurrected as something new. As something pure. As someone who loves God with all his heart, mind, strength, and soul and loves others before himself. I want to dance with my wife in a way I've never done before. I want to love my children as only a man with a heart of God can. My friends deserve a new and better friend. The world needs a worker that will seek the lost everywhere he goes.

So, the run continues and it'll never end. All this health stuff I do believe will finally come to a resolution, but in God's will not mine. I pray for new eyes to see with, new ears to hear with, and a heart that beats to serve HIM, not me! I have been a selfish, stubborn, blind person for too long. It's time for me to carry on the longest run all the way to the cross.

I appreciate you reading this and pray you will leave me some comments. I want to make this a regular thing, blogging about my health experiences and where I believe God is leading me. May God bless you and if you get the chance, pray for me. Pray for my healing, inside and out.

The Runner Built Like a Linebacker

2011-02-20T13:09:00.001-08:00

A good friend of mine refers to me by that title. Whenever I walk past him at church he says "there's goes the runner built like a linebacker." While I'm no Brian Urlacher or Demarcus Ware, or even Ray Lewis, I'm pretty proud to be singled out in that manner. I don't have the guns like these monsters of the gridiron, but at 6'1" and 225 lbs, I'm a pretty big guy to be a runner. I wish I possessed the speed of the Cowboys' Ware or the Green Bay Packers' Clay Matthews. Then, I'd really be sight to behold in a 5K race.

Anymore, my pace is closer to 9:00 per mile and if I bear down and push it, I can rack off an 8:30. Just knowing someone associates me with some of the best athletes in the NFL makes me swell with pride--although, my buddy may be referring to my soft mid-section more than my pecs or forearms.

Still, I can hold my head high as I'm running down the street, or walking to my pew at church, knowing somebody thinks I look pretty good for a fat, old man.

Here's wishing everyone good running days ahead as spring is rapidly approaching.

TFR (aka: The Linebacker)

Running Music

2011-02-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

There's a great website out there that provides FREE running music downloads to spice up your workouts. The site is called Podrunner (www.podrunner.com ) and you'll find some terrific techno mixes for 5K, 8K, and 10K training. You can also access and download archived music for your iPod or other MP3 devices. I used the interval workout today at the gym and it was great. Each song plays at a specific beat to either speed up or slow down your pace.

In related news, I've decided to ditch my iPod for a cheaper MP3 player. I can't access the iTunes store no matter what I try. After doing a Google search of reasons behind the problems I'm experiencing, I've found myriad forums addressing similar issues with iTunes, specifically getting error messages when trying to access the store. Does Apple want our business or what? Or, are they so filthy rich they don't need my piddly money? At any rate, I surrender and am flying the white flag. San Disk offers some really nice WMA players at a great price. And, the real kicker is something Apple refuses to put in the iPod--an FM tuner. I've wanted that for so long and now I can have it. Thank you Apple for helping me see the error of my ways!

I digress. The point of today's blog is to share Podrunner with you. I hope you'll find it a good source for free workout music. Go check it out.

Happy running!

TFR

Honoring Connor

2011-02-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was contacted by the father of one my former students, Connor Deal. Connor passed away two years ago this month from complications due to pneumonia. He was a vibrant, handsome young man with an incredible smile and passion for life. Connor loved Star Wars and hoped to be a film director when he grew up.

I had the privilege of being Connor's art teacher. He sat just two tables over from my desk and there's rarely a day that passes I don't think about him as I'm going by that table. The tree and commemorative stone set in his memory are located just a few yards from my window. I see them every day and he's always present somewhere in my life.

Perhaps the most important thing I have that keeps him close to my heart is something his mother, Nan, gave me a few days after his funeral. My boss called me into his office that day. He told me Mrs. Deal had been by to say thank you for all the prayers from our staff and had left a gift for me. He left me to be alone in his office and closed the door so I could view it in privacy. I guess he knew what was going to happen when I opened the large, manila envelope setting on his desk. I reached over, took it, and broke the seal. Inside I found a drawing done by Connor and an essay he wrote for his language arts class. The essay was entitled, "My Favorites." I began to read his words, hearing his voice. He discussed his favorite foods, how much he liked Star Wars, and who his friends were. The final lines were all about me, and I paraphrase..."my favorite class is art...and my favorite teacher is Mr. Paxton." I broke down and wept.

Mrs. Deal did more than leave me a gift. She gave me a treasure...Connor's legacy. That picture and letter are with me at school and I will cherish them forever.

On March 5, at 9:00 am, at Bonham Middle School, runners, walkers, and friends will assemble at Connor's tree to honor him with the first annual Honor Connor 5K Fun Run. When the race is over, we'll all celebrate the morning and the life of a young man who never got to live his dreams, but his memory will live on at Bonham and in the hearts of those who knew him. I will never forget Connor and will always value the brief opportunity I got to be in his presence.

If you're reading this, I hope you'll join us at Bonham this March as we "honor Connor."

Happy running!

TFR

Baby It's Cold Outside

2011-02-05T13:36:00.000-08:00

Let's get one thing straight...I HATE winter! Although we haven't experienced a tremendous volume of cold in my area, it's still been cold. And cold weather makes for lousy running. Today has been our warmest day in a week and I finally got to see the real road for a change. I've spent an entire week inside on the fake road and I'm sick of it. My left knee is hurting from pounding on the treadmill.

Ol' Punxsatawney (sp?) Phil predicts an early spring and I'm praying the prognosticating little varmint is right. Running is my sanctuary and I haven't been able to fully enjoy it so far. Maybe, just maybe, our furry, chubby friend from Pennsylvania has nailed it on the head and warmer days are coming soon.

With racing season right around the corner, let's pray for sunny days and good training opportunities. The road is your oyster...go cultivate the pearl.

Happy running!

TFR

Fun on the Fake Road

2011-02-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

No telling how many times in casual conversations with friends the subject of treadmills pops up. Usually, I'm making some comment about how I'm heading to the gym to run on the treadmill and how I'd much rather be running on the street. Invariably, someone will respond with a retort like "I hate the treadmill," or "treadmills are so boring!" Lots of beginning runners are petrified of treadmills and avoid them at all costs. Like my buddies, I don't always find the "fake road," as I've grown to know it, a place I eagerly anticipate visiting. However, I've discovered a few tips that make those agonizing, but necessary, training runs more exciting and fun.

Some of the workouts I do on the mill are located on Runner's World's web site. Look under the "Training" tab in videos. I've adapted some of them to suit my needs, while others I follow per the Runner's World coach's directions. Here's a couple of examples of what I do at the gym:

Sprints: After a 5-minute light jog (comfortable pace), ramp up the speed to a pace where you can't carry on a conversation. Hold that pace for a minute. Back down your speed to the original pace or you can walk for a minute. Repeat the process. Go a minute and a half and up to two minutes as your fitness level improves, mixing in a minute or two recovery jog or walk. Finish with a cool-down run (comfortable pace) of 5-8 minutes. Typically, I do this workout for about 30-40 minutes total.

Tempo Intervals: Tempos are runs done at a slighter faster pace than a jog, but are slightly slower than a sprint. You can carry on a conversation but it's not as easy as talking during a slow-paced run. After a 8-minute warmup, increase the speed to a slighter quicker pace. Hold that pace for 4 minutes. Slow down to a jog for 4 minutes. Do four sets of 4 tempos runs with 2 minutes of recovery between each set. Cool down with an 8-10 minute slower run. You can always throw some walking in during recovery time if you would like.

Hill Repeats: Hills are a necessary evil when training, especially for longer runs. Begin with a slower pace run of about 5-8 minutes to warm up. Warm ups are critical when doing any training runs. After your warm up, bump the incline to 4% and increase your speed slightly. Hold this for 2 minutes. Move back to zero incline and a slower pace for 2-minutes. Move to 5%, 6%, and 7% grades for 2 minutes each. Make sure you do a 2-minute recovery between each grade. You can always walk during recovery if you need to catch your breath. As your fitness level increases, you can rev up this workout by going longer and trying higher inclines. Always finish with an 8-10 minute cool down run at a comfortable pace.

As I stated earlier, Runner's World offers some terrific how-to training videos. If you're a beginner, don't overdo any of these workouts. Walk more if you need to. The treadmill need not be boring or intimidating. It can be a dynamic way to add spice to your workouts and get you the training you need to finish any race distance.

I hope these help. It's 13 degrees where I live so you know where I'll be running tomorrow!

Happy running!

TFR

Cold Weather Running

2011-01-31T15:55:00.000-08:00

With Old Man winter knocking at our door today, I thought this might be a good time to address running in the cold. I've been running for nearly 14 years and back in my younger days, running the cold wasn't a problem. As long as I had a warm top, hat, and gloves on, I was good to go. Traversing the streets in 20 degree temps didn't bother me at all. That was then, this is now. At 46 I've become a bit of a wimp and don't have nearly the tolerance for the cold stuff I once did. In fact, anything under 60 degrees and I'm heading for the gym.

Still, I own cold-weather gear like Under Armour tights and sleeves, toboggan hats, and winter gloves. They're gathering dust as it's been a while since they've been effectively worn. They get some use once in a great while when I feel like venturing out. Those days are fewer and farther between.

I envy young guys running in my neighborhood when I watch them brave the frigid mornings as I'm on my way to a hot cup of coffee prior to work. At one time, I was one of those hardened few that could stand the test of the chill. Someday, a few of those young bucks will be just like me. Shaking their heads at twenty-somethings slogging in ankle-deep snow in the name of fitness.

So, for now, I'll stick to running on warm days or hitting the treadmill whenever the temp drops below an acceptable level for me. It'll be a while before I regularly run outdoors, but I can't wait for that time to come.

And for the record...I did run in the cold today. It was from my Jeep to the front door on my gym after work. Boy is it freezing!

Happy running!

TFR

Welcome

2011-01-30T19:10:00.000-08:00

After quite a lengthy lay-off, The Fat Runner is back. I'm back with new stories and experiences, hoping readers will join me in discussing our favorite subject--running. My new and improved blog features updated colors, backgrounds, and--more importantly--running specific features. Prior to taking a break from blogging, my posts were getting a little...how do you say...dry, dull, boring, and way too politically opinionated. When I created Confessions of a Fat Runner I did it to create a place where runners could talk about all sorts of running topics. That never really happened and I left feeling pretty disappointed. So, I'm taking another shot at it and we'll see what happens.

In the two years since my last post, I've had some amazing running experiences I can't wait to share. My new focus for this site is to have a variety of topics and features on subjects ranging from training, nutrition, favorite runs, and shoes and gear reviews. I'd also like to encourage any of my readers/follow runners to join in the fun by commenting and giving me feedback on the topics presented. Tell us about races you've done, places you've been, etc. Periodically, I'll be doing reviews of running books, sharing my thoughts on them with you.

I hope this blog will become THE source for runners to share ideas, experiences, tips, and stories that will build a stronger sense of community on this site.

Well, here goes...the first post of 2011 in the revamped, hopefully improved, "Confessions of a Fat Runner." God bless and happy running!

TFR

No Child Left Behind--The Big Lie

2008-10-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

No Child Left Behind. Sounds like a noble cause, doesn't it? I mean, no one should ever be left behind, whether it's education, disaster relief, the homeless. But when it comes to education, don't be fooled into thinking the federal government really cares about your kids. If you're in public education, you know NCLB is a bold-faced lie.

For example, the notion that all kids will be on the same level by a certain time frame is ridiculous. Only a bunch of pencil-pushing, Washington elitists with zero knowledge of child development could make such an uninformed claim. These stuffed-suits completely disregard one critical component in the educational growth of a child--parent involvement. Or should I say, LACK of parent involvement.

When you have kids moving in and out of schools because the rent is due or their parents could care less about education and are more concerned with personal survival or their parents are too busy chasing that brass ring and just don't have "time" to be involved in their child's education, you can see what our educational system is up against.

Then you bring in the element of more rigid standardized assessments to guarantee we leave even more children behind. A reasonable person would naturally assume assessing the growth of students in order to better serve that student would be a good thing. It would be if states didn't have to punt on the essentials like spelling and punctuation and development of creative thinkers instead of making a collection of robotic, Stepford kids that are great test-takers, but lousy problem solvers.

In my opinion, and of course, it's only my opinion, the feds in their infinite wisdom has someone or cluster of someone's (cluster being the first of two operative words) that are enemies of public education and would love nothing more, like the insurance industry, to see it fail so the government can take over and privatize it. What other excuse could those mindless weasels in Washington have for authoring such a God-awful plan as No Child Left Behind. Those four words themselves are an oxymoron and perhaps the greatest travesty ever perpetrated by our government against the future of our nation.

By dumbing down curriculum, placing such rigid standards no state can ever hope to fully be in compliance, and by guaranteeing the mass exodus of teachers and administrators around the country (check the stats and you'll be alarmed), the federal government will eventually have in place all the reasons they need to take over education and remove power from the state level and shift it to Washington, D.C.

Your school administration building someday will be the U.S. Capitol with a whole bunch of overpaid, unenlightened, pompous superintendents at the helm. Then where will we be? You can see what happens any time Washington puts its filthy hands on anything, can't you?

I encourage you to check out the real facts behind No Child Left Behind. Find out what's really going on and don't just take the politicians' word on it.

Here's my ten-cent solution. 1) States must exercise their sovereign right to decline government monies and refuse to follow the rules of NCLB. Big problem: our states are so deep in bed with Washington they HAVE to follow the rules. 2) States must create their own set of standards that rigorously provide for appropriate measurements of student growth. 3) Grant more power to local school districts to set standards appropriate for the culture(s) of their specific region. For example, it's unreasonable to expect a school to comply with NCLB if that school has a high number of Spanish-speaking students or a large population of African refugees placed within that's school's zone. Right now, NCLB has limited-to-few provisions for such incidences. We've got kids being dumped on schools with no knowledge of the English language or American culture and we're supposed to "bring them up to speed." Further evidence the government could care less about the problems facing schools. 4) Release monies to help lower socio-economic parents, that may have limited education themselves, to obtain a G.E.D. and/or attend college. Show parents why education is important by empowering parents to be learners.

I know, what do I know about making laws and coming up with solutions to a problem that keeps on growing? I've been in public education for 16 years and have watched as it continues to decline, not because we have bad teachers that don't care. On the contrary, I believe public education is failing your kids because Washington has failed all of us. Teachers and staff care deeply about kids. We want them to succeed. We know what's at stake if they don't. Our country can't afford for public education to implode and the government to take the reins.

"Failure is not an option" is a phrase you hear often in our business. Too bad it's not one Congress operates by.

TFR

Commitment to Egg-cellence

2008-09-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

What in the world has happened to the Oakland Raiders? One time THE most feared team in the NFL and the winningest franchise of the major sports, the Raiders are now a joke. No matter how you felt about the Raiders, you respected their fierce competitiveness and their powerful presence.

Even as a Dallas Cowboys fan, I always rooted for the men in the silver and black in the Super Bowl. I loved watching Stabler, Biletnikoff, Tatum, Atkinson, and later Marcus Allen and Ronnie Lott terrorize their opposition. They were mean, nasty, and could always find a way to win.

So, what's their problem? Simple...two words--Al Davis. The maverick's time has come and gone. He was the face that changed the game and brought respectability to a fledgling American Football League and gave the new AFC legitimacy as a superpower team that perennially challenged for the League's World Championship. Davis was disliked and feared by his fellow owners and always danced to his own tune. "A Commitment to Excellence" wasn't just the Raiders' credo, but it was a way of life for Davis and his beloved team.

Contrast that fiery past to the shell of a team the Raiders are today. Davis should have stepped down years ago. His judgment is suspect and he has turned the Raiders head coaching position into a job few, if any, want. His ego continues to impede his decision-making. The team has become secondary to Davis' self-serving attitude and that's a travesty to the honor and storied history of one of the greatest franchises in all of sport.

If I were a die-hard Raiders fan I wouldn't pay the price of admission to watch what Al Davis has done. It might just be time for the NFL to intervene, much the way Major League Baseball did with Reds' owner Marge Schott, and politely ask Davis to either pass the torch or sell the team.

As a lover of football, I hate seeing any great team go through the mass destruction the Raiders has suffered. One can only hope Davis will do the right thing and put the needs of his team and the league ahead of his own.

That's my football rant for the day.

TFR

I'm a Runner

2008-09-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm a runner. I didn't say I'm always a SMART runner, but I run, nonetheless. Take today. I decide to go running/hiking at our local wildlife center. It was warm, but breezy, so I figured "Eh, it won't be bad if I hydrate well." Sure. I strapped on my hydration pack and hosed myself with bug spray and hit the trail.

Halfway through, it's not too bad and I'm trying to keep myself hydrated. By the end of the run, and all the hills I've climbed, I'm a bit pooped. It's 83 degrees and I should've stopped when I was ahead and had ran close to two miles. But no, I decide to hit the running path next to the road and run another two miles. Now that was STUPID!

I got home and my temples were pounding a cadence similar to a halftime show at a USC game. So, I slammed as much water and ibuprofen as I could. It took me nearly three hours to cool off and for my heart rate to settle down.

Lesson: Quit running in the heat! Had I waited until 7, it was beautiful out and the sunset was awesome.

Yes, I'm a runner and not just a fat one, but a dumb one, sometimes.

Yesterday, I had the honor of participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I, along with several colleagues, walked with a friend and co-worker who is battling cancer. She's a tough cookie, walking the entire 3.1 miles. We've all helplessly watched as our friend is struggling to survive as the cancer has progressed throughout her body. Still, she keeps a good attitude and continues to work, when she can.

I hate cancer. Almost as much, if not on the same level, as diabetes. Cancer took my grandmother's life and has ended the lives of other family and friends. I pray that events like yesterday's will bring about a quick resolution to a terrible disease.

I hope this post finds everyone well. Tell your friends and family, especially runners, to check me out and leave me a comment.

God bless!

TFR

How Do They Get Away With It?

2008-09-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so in my last blog I wrote about work ethic, or America's lack of it. I read Adrienne's comment and it raises a salient point. How can restaurants, convenience stores, superstore death stars, grocery stores, and small businesses get away with providing such blatantly obvious crappy service?

Adrienne's comment was, and I'm paraphrasing, "If we did our jobs that way, we'd be fired." That's exactly right! If I was constantly late to work, sooner or later (sooner), my boss would say "Adios!" What if I kept a parent waiting in the office that had scheduled a conference with me? And I mean waiting for 15, 20, 30 minutes like customers sometimes wait in a restaurant. That parent would be livid and calling for my head! If I called everyone I met in the office "Dude" I'm guessing I'd be in my boss's office, behind closed doors, getting the lecture of my life.

Yet, we'll put up with cruddy service over and over again. To save 18 cents we'll tolerate 2 open check lanes at The Death Star SuperStore and buy that gallon of cheap bleach or that t-shirt that really wasn't made in the U.S.A.

I guess we've grown accustomed to being dumped on in this country. We make allowances for the bad behavior of surfer dude waiter guy who has to clock out to take a dump and then forgot to wash his hands because he couldn't read the sign above the sink that clearly instructs him to do so before returning to work. Then, he goes back, handles our food, we get salmonella and wind up in an understaffed E.R. waiting to be seen in an endless line of people with the sniffles that just happen to have no insurance and the free clinic has closed at 9 so they booked it over to the hospital that is only on your HMO. Nice!

When will we say no? I mean seriously, when? How long are we going to put up with this garbage? Adrienne and I know all too well the genesis of lousy service because we see it in the form of kids that don't care about the quality of their work in the classroom. Then, they take that same attitude into the workforce with them and expect everyone else in the world to continue catering to their every needs the way school did. Anyone with common sense and a strong work ethic knows that just isn't the way it is.

Sadly, we have managers and upper-level management out there that's just as bad. My daughter works in our dump of a mall in the corner bling-bling store or as I call it: "Shiny Sparkles Things-r-Us." My kid hasn't worked there long, but she's already covering for the ineptitude of her manager and general manager. My daughter is often late to work and when I gripe at her about it she says "so what, my boss is always late and doesn't care if I am." There you go. Her boss is just a few years older and has fewer brains. Scary. The GM is only a few years older than the manager and is worse. I think this company is the write-off company for the parent one. A nice tax shelter.

You can see why these behaviors are so pervasive in the workplace. It starts at the top and flows down to us, the customer. So, next time you have to stand in line, or wait forever for a seat in your local chain restaurant, or hear the Jeopardy song playing while Joe is arguing with his girlfriend on his cellphone while you're trying to check out, pitch a major fit. Ask for the big cheese, if you can find him or her. Call the 1-800 number provided on the customer comment card. Gripe, gripe, gripe. Don't let these bozos off the hook.

And do us teachers a favor...demonstrate to your kids what real work looks like. I know, I know, it's not always easy, but at least try. I'm a teacher and have a kid that THINKS it's all right to come in on HER schedule. Show your kids how it's done and we'll do our best, like always, to reinforce that at school.

Good luck and don't get salmonella!

TFR

Work Ethic--A Dying Philosophy

2008-09-18T19:18:00.001-07:00

If you've shopped at a local mall, eaten at a restaurant, or purchased items at a convenience store perhaps you've noticed how little work ethic the contemporary American worker possesses. How long have you waited for a clerk to get off his or her cellphone before getting service, if you can call it that? Have you sat at a booth at a burger joint only to have your arms stick to the table? And Lord forbid you ask the waiter or waitress to wipe down said table so you can have a clean place to eat.

My friends, welcome to the world of work in the new millennium. We've got too many workers that believe something is owed them, or take the attitude "how dare you expect me to do my job?" Where did all this come from? Us. And when I say "us" I mean whiney, cry-baby, never-lived-through-a-war-or-depression Baby Boomers. Yep, it's our fault. We were born in an era of great economic prosperity and transitioned into one of instant gratification. We raised our kids to believe they were special because they could poop or burp or color an apple purple. Wow! We are the status quo that runs this nation and makes policies and allow our children to get away with murder because we don't want to injure their fragile self-esteem.

Our kids receive awards just for participating. They all get to play in the game, no matter how crappy an athlete they are. They draw art projects we wouldn't wipe our rears with, but we tell them "Oh my, aren't you my little Picasso!" We are liars and have lowered our expectations and now we are reaping our just rewards.

Anyone under the age of 30 wants to show up to work, hang out with latte in hand, do some text-messaging, and "find themselves." Unfortunately, that isn't just limited to age 30 and under. Remarkably, we have a Presidential candidate that is that too.

The modern American worker is on a journey of self-exploration. Work is an abstract concept. Mommy and daddy are held to a higher standard than they hold their kids. I mean, would you or your boss put up with what our kids think we should allow them to get away with on the job? The aforementioned examples of long waits, dirty tables, lousy service, clerks lounging about are so commonplace that we, the consumer, have accepted this behavior.

We've got to get tougher with our kids and teach them they must do more than just show up to work. They must be present and make a contribution. If they want to "find themselves" then they need to it on their own time, not their employers' and certainly not their customers'. We must set the right example for our children and instill within them a sense of pride in a job well done and never settle for halfway. Halfway is no way.

With the impending recession and collapse of the major annuity and financial players of our country, a depression, similar to the 1930's, just might not be a bad idea. It just might galvanize this nation into the superpower it once was. Americans will be forced to quit griping and start working. People that have long mooched off society will have to take a number and stand in line. And maybe, just maybe, our kids and young people will learn it takes sweat, blood, and hardwork to be successful, not cradling an i-Phone and a Starbucks in your well-manicured hands.

That's my rant for the day.

TFR

Let Him Without Sin

2008-09-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

A couple of posts ago I sang the praises of Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska and now Vice Presidential candidate. Nothing has changed my opinion of her. In fact, the recent news of her 17-year old daughter's out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and Palin's response to it has increased my fondness for her.

As a father, I can only imagine what Mrs. Palin and her husband are experiencing. My guess is they are confident and brave on the outside and crying and devastated on the inside. If one of my daughters were to come home with similar news I'd be crushed. I would be disappointed and probably blame myself for not being a better parent. Well, no matter what we do as parents our kids have brains, albeit small ones sometimes, and they make their own decisions. That is not a reflection of our parenting skills. This 17-year old made the wrong decision and now must face the consequences. I applaud Governor Palin for holding her daughter accountable by ensuring she has the baby and will raise it in the best possible environment she can provide.

I have listened to Democratic pundits on some of the major news networks slam Palin for this recent news. Let him without sin cast the first stone. By the grace of God none of us have kids that became pregnant as the result of poor decision-making. I was no angel as a teen and my guess is most of these so-called "strategists" aren't either.

I believe this latest revelation will do more to help the McCain-Palin ticket than hurt it. It shows all too well the humanness of a public figure and how we are all vulnerable as parents. We can only do our best and then trust our children will do the right thing. Sometimes they don't and they end up pregnant, getting someone pregnant, or worse...dead.

Yes, I'm a Republican, but I'd feel the same way if Chelsea Clinton had gotten pregnant back when Bill was in office. It wouldn't show Bill and Hillary as any better or worse as parents. The fact remains it is a decision that stings even the toughest of families.

So, before you pass judgment on the Palin family, or any others facing similar circumstances, remember we are sinners and make mistakes. In God's eyes, sin is sin. Cut Palin some slack and look past her smiling face and put yourself in her brokenhearted shoes.

TFR

The Heart of a Runner

2008-09-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

For the last year, I've been a member of an incredible site for runners aptly named "The Runners' Lounge." I found this site by accident, but it has been a happy accident, indeed. During my membership, I have made some amazing running friends, like Amy, B.V., and Joy. I look forward to hearing from them in the forum I created known as "The Fat Runners Society."

As a runner of nearly a dozen years, I encounter all sorts of people. Non-runners ask me all the time why in the world I would want to run. There used to be this guy I played fastpitch softball with that always would say, "why run when you can walk...why walk when you can hit a three-run homer." I must admit, prior to becoming a runner I felt the same way. I thought runners were nuts. How could anyone find running fun? But, until you've done it, you'll never know the pleasure of a long run or how quirky a bunch runners can be.

Runners have big hearts. They live big, often right on the very edge of life every day. We have wild and amazing stories of what brought us into the sport. My friend and fellow lounger, BV, inspired today's post. He sent me a message on my forum asking if I was all right after what I wrote in yesterday's blog. I've never met BV, but I share a kinship with him forged in a sport we both love and participate in every day. BV's a runner, but he's more than a runner. He's a man with a big heart or else he wouldn't have asked how I was and if he could help. He even gave me his private email address if I wanted to just "talk." How cool is that?

Running brings people together. No matter the color, creed, financial status, their body type...we all come together as a special group of people sharing a special sport. Our sport isn't necessarily a competitive one like football or soccer. The only competition we have is ourselves. I run to make myself better. I run to live life on the edge. I run to escape a world that is closing in on me and my running brings me closer to the God I love.

Thanks to all you runners out there, large and small, that have big hearts and refuse to live an ordinary life. Be barbaric in everything you do. Make someone smile and maybe bring someone that doesn't run into our fold.

God bless you all with great running!

TFR

Behold, the Power of Pancakes!

2008-08-31T16:15:00.001-07:00

Never underestimate the power of pancakes. Ahhh, the smell of golden griddle cakes fresh off the stove on a cold morning...nothing's better. Okay, maybe the coffee that goes with them. I realize this is pretty random of me, writing about pancakes and all, but I've had a rough Sunday and need some comfort food on my mind.

I began this day with a plate of pancakes at my favorite breakfast stop, right before heading off to church. Prior to that my wife and I were faced with a huge, heartbreaking decision that I'd rather not discuss now. Let's just say it's not my idea of a good Sunday morning when I've already shed some tears. So, my plate of goodness was extra comforting indeed.

I'm sure many of you find solace in other foods, but for me, nothing beats a big stack with lots of butter and syrup and a steaming cup of coffee to wash them down.

If you're a runner, you doubly appreciate the carb-loading power pancakes offers before and after a long run. Let's put it this way, I could eat them every day and never grow tired of them.

I told you this a random blog, but I needed my brain to take a walk with a lot of distractions from the mess that is the world. I'm not sure where this is going, but I guess mostly I'm just typing out loud to stretch my brain muscles since they're sore from over-thinking earlier today.

Pancakes can soothe a world of aches and pains. Too bad I slammed a steak sandwich for supper or else I'd be heading for the kitchen whip up a short stack.

Thanks for wandering with me.

God bless!

TFR

Random Stuff

2008-08-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

First, let's begin with John McCain's selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. Being a Texan, I naturally hoped McCain would choose Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson as his Vice Presidential candidate. I had to Google Governor Palin to see where she stood on issues and was pleasantly surprised by my findings. It's refreshing to find a politician with guts enough to stand up to politics-as-usual. Governor Palin has demonstrated she has the courage to right wrongs when she sees them. She fought against a corrupt oil establishment in Alaska. Kudos to her.

Palin's appointment serves several purposes. While some Clinton supporters call McCain's selection of a woman an "insult to their intelligence (CNN today)," I believe many women will welcome her arrival on the scene. I can tell you from the Democrats I spoke to today, many of whom were women, they have no intention of voting for Obama and Palin's appointment only reinforces that opinion. So first, Palin will attract women voters who were otherwise sitting on the fence.

Second, should McCain win and Governor Palin prove to be a force in the global arena during the next four years, we're looking at the Republican candidate for President in 2012. Any Clinton disciples that changes teams and supports Palin will now find themselves in a dilemma--Do I go back to Hillary or stay with Palin?

Last, it's just the right thing to do and America is ready for a female Vice President and, in four years, President. Only it won't be Hillary in 2012. If the good Governor plays her cards right and demonstrates the same courageous behavior in the White House as she has in Alaska she'll find herself in the Oval Office--not in front of the big desk, but behind it.

I can't wait to see what the Democratic pundits will do with this one, but you can be sure they are scurrying to create some damage control caused by Barack Obama's inability to pick a female VP candidate instead of going with tired, old Joe Biden.

The election should be fun, but I hope it's McCain/Palin in '08!

No running talk today, just running mates!

Ever forward!

TFR

Back to School

2008-08-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm back to blogging after a sabbatical. You'd think summer would give me more time and freedom to blog, but I spent most of the summer teaching summer school, attending trainings, and working with our middle schoolers at church. But now, it's back to school and back to blogging.

I'm a member of a terrific site known as The Runners' Lounge. TRL is a site created, in the words of its founders, "by runners, for runners." Recently, I submitted my story in the Lounge's "Inspirational Stories" section about my weight loss, running, and family adversities. It was chosen as best story for the month of August. I'm completely humbled and excited to receive this honor. What a great way to start back to work.

This recent experience, along with these first two days of school, really got me to thinking. I am more blessed than I realize to be a teacher. Do I want to teach the rest of my life? Probably not. My dream is to be a writer and make that my career. I love writing and sharing stories with readers. But for now, I'm a teacher and proud of it. My kids have been wonderful, thus far. Sure, I know it's only going into our third day of the new school year, but after you've taught a while, you get a sense of how the semester is going play out. My initial gut feeling is good.

Back to school means a chance for a do-over for teachers and kids, alike. Sometimes we teachers need a chance to start over. Maybe last year wasn't so hot and now we have the opportunity to correct that. We hope we have grown and improved over the summer, just as we pray that for our students. For me, personally, the new year brings new challenges and adventures. You never know what's around the corner until you take a peek.

My prayer is this school year will be my best yet. That's the same prayer I say on January 1st about my life, health, family, and my running. Desperately, my heart desires to provide my students with new vistas for learning. I just hope they will seize the chance to take advantage of that, not me, and see where the journey leads them.

I'm sure for many of you, school began earlier. I pray for all the educators out there to have a great and blessed year. We have in our power the ability to change lives. I don't take that lightly. The last thing I want is for one of my students to say I didn't care and they never learned from me. In 20 years, I hope they will remember me fondly and will still be using whatever I taught them in their lives, at work, and with their families.

If you're a teacher, God bless you with a great year. If you're a parent, please be patient with your child's teachers. They are doing their best. Help them whenever you can. We do need and welcome your support.

God bless you all and ever forward!

TFR

Le Tour de Farce

2008-07-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Time to call a spade a spade. After the latest doping incident and subsequent arrest of yet another Tour rider, I'm wondering, is anyone watching Le Tour anymore? I tuned into Versus' coverage last night and listened to a rather lethargic Bob Roll sounding like he'd lost his best friend as he was doing his best to comment on the action. Both announcers sounded like they would rather be anywhere else but in front of the camera calling the farce this race has become.

I became a Tour de France follower during Lance Armstrong's third effort at winning. As a person who lost his weight cycling, I must admit I was smitten with the romance of the race. Spending 20 miles in the saddle on a Saturday afternoon, I could only imagine the pain of riding over 100 miles a day for 21 days, all around France. No wonder cyclists look like skeletons. Here I was (am), still over 200 pounds, and riding a mountain bike for an hour or two. How in the world do these guys do it, day in and day out? Maybe dope has something to do with it.

Fast forward to last year, when so many big-name cyclists were caught doping and then banned from competition. And now the Tour is facing more controversy as cyclists continue to tempt fate and take enhancing drugs in order to survive the race.

One can only wonder how much longer this classic race, that has taught average Americans so much about the geography and beauty of France, can last. I haven't seen the telecast ratings for Versus' exclusive coverage, but one can only ascertain they cannot be good. Only the most ardent fan would stick around after all that's happening to disgrace the Tour.

Give me the pure sport of baseball anytime. Wait, bad example. Give me the good, clean sport of football...whoops. Okay, the Olympics, give me the Olympics...well, I guess there's not many sports out there that hasn't been touched by doping, but it sure seems Le Tour has more than its fair share and the lackluster attitude of its commentors is enough to tell you the real story.

That's all from the "drug-free" Fat Runner!

TFR

Retire Already, Brett!!!

2008-07-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

Picture this: a tearful middle school art teacher, sitting in front of his peers who are surrounding him in the cafeteria. He's given 30 years of faithful service and now it's time to call it a career. There's a cake on a table and a few gifts from well-wishers. The man of the hour now stands and thanks everyone for all the great memories and the wonderful gifts. There's some applause, even from some of the first-year teachers that don't even know this old geezer. There are a few whispering under their breaths, "It's about time he left." The moment ends and this tired, old educator walks out of the school forever. Or maybe not.

Two weeks later, with his contract days expired, and everyone is well into their summer vacation, the sad and aging art teacher calls his boss and says we need to get everyone back together. "I want to stay another year...I'm not ready to retire." Of course, driven by the letter he received from the Teacher Retirement System showing him his monthly retirement check may buy him a cup of caramel machiatto at Starbucks and a blueberry bagel...and that's a big maybe, he's decided to stick it out one more time. Who cares if he hasn't done any real teaching the last 5 years of his career. It doesn't matter if he had little to no classroom discipline to speak of for quite a while. But, he did manage to bring it in what he, and his boss, believed would be his swan song finale; a year in which he did more teaching, changed more lives, and generally improved more as an educator than he did in his 30-year sojourn at Anywhere Middle School.

His boss, tapping a pen on a desk, politely reminds him his time is over. His retirement papers have been submitted and it's out of his hands. "But, I don't want to leave. I want to stay!" "Too late," says the principal, "I've already hired your replacement." Then it hits the old guy like a bat to the face. Life goes on. They missed me for about three minutes and they (staff) got back to their lives. Summer is here and everyone's gone. This guy is just a memory. The kids probably won't even notice his absence in August when the new, fresh, pretty girl that will take his place is standing outside the art classroom welcoming her new students.

Hey Brett Favre! You played a pretty good, Hall of Fame career, but you're about to make everyone sick. In fact, if you look at Favre's stats he lost as many games as he won for the Pack by forcing bad throws and getting picked off in crucial moments. That's how I remember his final game with Green Bay. It's time to take a look at Dan Marino and gracefully take your exit. Granted, more people will miss you than the jerk Marino, but it's time to let someone else take the reins. You're holding up the process of indoctrinating another quarterback into the offensive system and that's not fair. Your time has come and gone and now you must move on.

Retire, already, Dude. Enjoy time with your now healthy wife and get on with your life.

TFR

10 Reasons Running is Better Than Reality TV

2008-07-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

My wife is a devotee of reality television. I can't stand it. I find reality TV boorish and completely devoid of any intelligence, much like some parts of the United States. Strangely, a lot of what happens on these stupid programs have filtered into my brain through osmosis, since I sit in the room adjacent our living room while on the computer. I can tell you a little bit about each one my wife watches, from America's Next Top Model to Hell's Kitchen. Isn't Gordon Ramsey the King of Tact?

I've been a runner for nearly a dozen years and pounding the pavement is my "reality." These shows are as far removed from "reality" as I am from actually becoming America's Next Top Model. The following is a list of 10 reasons running is better than reality TV:

10) At the end of my run I don't have three judges telling me how bad my form was.
9) My "catwalk" has cobblestones and is covered with trees.
8) I know I run better than David Hasselhoff can act and I'm not that fast.
7) My runs have never been "a little pitchy, dog."
6) I run to zone out wretched noises like the ones that come from Mary Murphy.
5) Sometimes there are more interesting freaks on the road than on TV...now that's reality!
4) There are no running reality shows on Bravo yet.
3) I "make it work" and my legs look good for doing it.
2) Hell's Kitchen is running on a July day in my neighborhood.

and, the number one reason running is better than reality TV...
1) No Simon Cowell!!!

I'm sure there are hundreds more reasons but 10 will have to do.

TFR

What's In Your Playlist?

2008-06-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of articles out there in running publications about how MP3 players are banned from most sanctioned marathons. I guess I won't be running any marathons soon because I pretty much live with my iPod now. I haven't always been a fan of running with headphones, especially outdoors, but I really enjoy listening to music while I run. It helps get me through my runs and takes my mind off the mileage I need to cover.

My playlist is pretty eclectic, as you'll soon see. I like intense music, like hard rock, when I need to do a faster run. For longer runs, I prefer something a touch more mellow. Then for those in-between runs, like for hills or just when I'm working out I might try something more contemporary. Music can be a huge part of a good workout and can really help your running goals for the day.

So, what's in your playlist? Here's a sampling of mine:

Born to Run--Bruce Springsteen
I Love Rock N Roll--Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Metal Health--Quiet Riot
Turn Me Loose--Loverboy
Heartbreaker--Pat Benatar
Faithfully--Journey
Sweet Dreams--The Eurhythmics
The Heart of Rock N Roll--Huey Lewis and the News
Welcome to the Jungle--Guns N Roses
Dead or Alive--Bon Jovi
Banana Pancakes--Jack Johnson
All Star--Smashmouth
Rock and Roll Band--Boston
Lucky Star--Madonna
Hot Blooded--Foreigner

Let me know what you're listening to. Hit me with your best shot, baby!

TFR

Media, Life, and True Reality

2008-06-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

While running on the treadmill this afternoon, I caught a newsflash on CNN which was playing on the TV above me. I couldn't hear what was said, but I could read the closed captioning. The anchor was talking about singer Amy Winehouse and how she's been hospitalized with emphysema. If you aren't familiar with Winehouse, she has a hit song aptly named, "Rehab." It seems this young lady, aged 25, is determined to leave this earth as fast as she can. She's been in rehab for a cocaine addiction and continues to be reckless with her life. Now, she's been diagnosed with emphysema, a disease more closely associated with smokers of more advanced age.

From what I can tell, the media has gotten a great deal of mileage at Miss Winehouse's expense. There are pictures splattered all over the internet showing her with a white, powdery substance under her nose and tears in her eyes. Other photos show close-up shots of her arms and legs revealing what looks to be track marks (injection points) where she has shot up either heroin or coke. It's tragic what is happening. She's a human being and no one seems to be helping her.

I guess what prompted me to blog about this was something I read tonight on the internet. A few months back, I did a Google search on Winehouse and watched a video on You Tube of her song "Rehab." She has a wonderful voice and the tune reminds you of an old Vegas lounge act or some coffeehouse trio. After seeing how she is falling apart I got online tonight and read an article about her admittance to the hospital. So, again I Googled her name and came across a web site that is asking its readers to predict the date and time of Amy Winehouse's death. Can you believe that? What has happened to us, as a species? Have we grown so insensitive we would actually revel in calling the time of someone's death and find that entertaining? I find it repulsive and sick.

Recently, the Australian government intervened in television programming in that country, calling for more stringent guidelines for behavior, specifically profanity, on television. It seems that one Australian official was fed up with certain "reality" shows airing on local stations. He called the shows "crude" and said Australians were becoming a nation of "crude people." The same could be said in many places, such as the U.K., where this web site prophesying Amy Winehouse's demise originated, and the U.S. We are losing our civility to make a buck or to be entertained by foolish behavior on television. And now, some complete idiots are "cashing in" (their words) on the death of what should have been a bright singing star.

My call is for someone out there to please help Amy Winehouse before someone collects on the i-Pod Touch that is the grand prize for accurately predicting her death. Ironically, I'm certain "Rehab" will be one of the preloaded songs on the i-Pod. How nice.

I also urge everyone to remember we are a civil society, not animals. I'm glad someone in Australia had the guts to stand up and say enough. Too bad we are so blinded by political correctness and have become so incredibly sterilized by the garbage on American TV that someone in our government doesn't have the courage and moral decency to draw the line.

I'm not sure what it will take. But I'll lay this challenge at the feet of any lawmaker in Washington. Stand up in Congress tomorrow and put forth a bill to clean up television programming in the United States. I have a used 2 gigabyte, i-Pod Nano with over 400 songs already loaded that I'd be happy to give you. Maybe it'll save a life or someone's soul.

I pray for Amy Winehouse and others like her. This is the true reality of life. And unlike American Idol or Top Chef there are no winners. If she dies, someone will get a shiny new i-Pod.

You tell me...did they really win?

TFR

Worth the Weight

2008-06-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

I have a very low tolerance of lazy people, but I can understand them. I struggle with bouts of laziness from time to time. Fat people in America have been shackled with the stereotype of being lazy by those who make no effort to understand them. One man's fat is another's skinny, in my opinion. When I say I have a low tolerance for laziness, I guess that comes from being a teacher. But, speaking as someone that once weighed over 300 lbs. I know what it's like to have people look at you weird and shout insults at you when you're out in public. Heck, I weigh 240 right now and still get idiots yelling at me while I'm running, "You need to run, fatboy!" I wonder if they could keep up. Doubtful.

The next time you see a fat person sitting on a bench or maybe slamming that burger in a restaurant, remember, there's a story there. That food may be the only friend that person has. Cap'n Crunch at least smiles at you when you pour it into the bowl. A Hostess Twinkie doesn't make fun of you on the playground. Devil's Food cake won't laugh at you while it's sitting on your plate. I found comfort in lots of these foods, and mac and cheese and pizza and donuts. None of them made fun of me--none! Behind every fat person there's a story of lousy self-esteem just waiting to be told. The more we eat, the less our self-esteem so we eat more. You get the picture.

Where does my intolerance for lazy come from? Well, here's my point. If you're fat, you don't have to stay that way. Will I ever look like an Olympic marathoner? No and I don't want to, either. I lost over 100 pounds and looked horrible at 195. My mom used to say my bones would weigh 200 pounds and she was right. I had friends telling me I needed to stop losing weight and maybe put back a few pounds. I really did look bad. Some people can lose weight and look great. I'm not one of them. When I got back up to 235 that was a decent weight for me and I did look pretty good. I never want to weight 300 pounds again--NEVER! But I now know how an anorexic feels. At 195 I would look in the mirror and still see the same fat guy I saw at 305. I'd tell my wife I need to lose more. I would constantly weigh myself and obsess over everything I ate. Does that sound like fun to you? At some point, enough was enough.

If you are fat you may never be America's Top Model and so freaking what? But you don't have to live a life that puts you in danger of dying of a heart attack. You can be healthy and still eat the foods you love. Just don't make love to those foods while you eat them. Do you know what I mean by that?

God has a plan for us. Sure he does. I don't think God wanted me to be unhappy at over 300 pounds and miserable because I always had to shop in the big and tall section. I wore a size 50 pant and a 3XL shirt and jacket. But, God does want me to share his story through my weight loss and glorify his name. I'm blessed to be able to run 3, 4, and even 5 miles at a time when at one time I could barely walk down the street without resting.

I'm lazy, by nature, and have to work hard at keeping my weight under control. It's a constant struggle, one I'm sure will go on until I die, or finally quit caring. But for right now I'm proud I'm a runner. I'm glad I don't weigh so much because I often wonder if I would still be alive today had I not lost all that weight. I owed that to my kids to be able to play with them and be there for their graduations.

Runners have heart attacks too, don't get me wrong. But if you're reading this and you're overweight, I understand. Read this again--I UNDERSTAND. God understands too. When you don't think you have a friend you do in Jesus, as the song goes. If you don't think you have anyone, write me. I'm only too happy to talk with you.

And for you runners that might have been overweight at one time and now you're thinner, never forget where you came from. And don't keep that to yourself. And don't let others make fun of overweight people. They're humans, just like you. You want respect and so do they.

I've been up and down, back and forth just in last five years trying to hang in there and stay below 250. It has been "worth the weight." I wouldn't trade the struggle for anything because, in the words of Coach Jimmy Duggan in "A League of Their Own," "it's the hard that makes it great."

That's my confession. What's yours?

God bless you!

TFR

Shoe Junkie

2008-06-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

Some people are addicted to food (I'm one of those), some are addicted to reality shows like my wife. I'm a running shoe junkie. A more apt title for my blog site might just be "Confessions of a Shoe Junkie." Don't think I didn't consider that name when considering titles. I don't know where my obsession with shoes originated. My best guess is it was born from growing up on the wrong side of the tracks. My folks weren't rich, or even middle class, for that matter. Heck, I got hand-me-downs from my best friend. Since I had no brothers, he was the best I could do. Whenever he got tired of his old sneakers he gave them to me and I gladly accepted.

I worshipped my best friend and any chance to wear his shoes was a real honor. He was a gifted athlete and had everything in front of him until he got bone cancer and lost his right leg below the knee. He went from being this really fast kid that everyone looked up to in school, to a below-average runner in middle and high schools. After he got his artificial leg he seldom passed on shoes to me anymore. He didn't wear them out as fast so I wore what I had.

My serious addiction of shoes didn't completely surface until I got into my thirties. It worsened when I began running. The reason I can give reviews of running shoes is because I've owned so many different styles and models. From Adidas Response, Asics Kayanos, and Reebok DMX to New Balance 992's and Nike Air Pegasus, Shox, and Zooms I've tried them all. My wife and friends call me "Imelda Marcos." I'm flattered to be compared to a dictator's wife with a closet full of zapatos!

I'm learning to dial it back a little. Quality not quantity. I do a lot research prior to buying a pair of running shoes now. I read all the latest reviews, talk to people when I see them wearing a particular shoe I'm interested in, and wear-test different models until I find the one I like.

My need for running shoes and the abundance I've accumulated led to me to create a ministry at church called "Shoes for Zimbabwe." My church has supported missions work in Zimbabwe for many years. One day, I was reading about a young high school runner that was collecting gently used running shoes to send to Africa. What a great idea! I've got all these shoes lying around and I'm sure there are many like me out there that have more shoes than they need. So, I called the missionary that works with churches in Zimbabwe and then spoke to our pulpit minister and both were excited about my idea to send shoes to needy people in that region. We put out the word at church and as of today, I've collected over 150 pairs of shoes and close to $200 to help with shipping costs.

Sometimes an obsession can lead to doing something good for others. Of course, a couple of my friends, namely Jason, wondered if this just wasn't another excuse for me to buy more shoes. Hmmm. People in Zimbabwe need our help. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Seriously, people in that riot-torn and politically unstable area could use all your help and prayers. If you'd like to help us, I'd love to tell you how. Contact me by commenting to this story and give me a way to get in touch with you. I'd love to send as many shoes as possible by the end of September.

I hope to hear from you soon if you'd like to help.

God bless you and ever forward!

TFR

Talking Points

2008-06-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

I have a confession: I hate thieves!!! Well, I hate the sin of thievery, at least. This morning, I decided to sleep a little later and got up at just after 9. I got dressed and was heading out the door to grab a cup of Joe and read the morning paper and then hit the gym for a lift. Last night, for the first time, I parked on the street instead in my driveway. I hit my clicker to unlock my truck and it sounded like my truck was unlocked. As I walked around to the driver's side, I saw my window was smashed and there was glass everywhere. Someone had broken into my truck, ransacked my console and glove box and there was glass all over the floorboards and seats. I was ticked, to say the least.

Then, I gazed up the street and saw the twinkling of glass next to my neighbor's two vehicles. They got him too. Bless his heart, I had to wake him up after he had gotten in from work at 2 am. Some nit-wit took his stereo. Of course, we called the police only to learn there had been 20 vehicles hit in our neighborhood. The silver lining to this story is they caught the morons. It'll be a while before they sort out all the mess. Their little rampage cost me $200 for a new window. Thanks, dudes!

You know, ordinarily, I'd want a pound of flesh, but strangely, I wasn't as mad as I thought I'd be. I just wanted to talk to them and let them know that $200 was insulin I could've purchased for my daughter. Maybe one of their victims has cancer and can't afford to replace a car window. My neighbor has diabetes and I'm sure the stress of the morning jacked his blood sugars through the roof. Most of all, I'd like these guys to know the Jesus I know. That while they'll have to face consequences for their actions, they have a way out that is eternal. They have access to the same Savior I do, if they want him. I'd like to tell them about him in the hopes they might realize a life that is different from the one they are presently living. Sadly, I probably won't get that chance. All I can do is pray someone else talks to them before it's too late.

Next topic: Achilles pain. If anyone out there has experienced achilles pain or an achilles injury, please tell me about it. How do you run through something like that? My left achilles has a knot that is really bugging me. I considered getting back on the bike until I can get it healed. It comes and goes and I'm sure being over 240 lbs. contributes to the stress I'm feeling on my left ankle.

Last topic: I noticed I got a comment from someone I'd never met before. Welcome Friend! I hope you'll check out my blogs more often and chime in. I hope you'll tell your friends and running buddies to check us out. Also, I'd like to suggest you browse The Runners' Lounge by going to www.runnerslounge.com and while you're there, look me up. I started a loungers' forum called "The Fat Runners Society." I hope you'll sign up and engage in conversation with me and my buddy Jason. We're big runners and we'd love to hear from more of you.

That's it for now. God bless you all and ever forward!!!

TFR

Tired, but Still Going

2008-06-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have a confession. There are days when I wonder if I should just quit running and start riding a bike again. My legs ache this morning and my left achilles has been bugging me. My frame has a lot to do with all my aches and pains.

Running has been my relief and retreat for more than a decade now. My weight loss quest began on bicycle, though. Many times I long for the fun of cycling. But, I just don't have the time to sit for hours on a bike. I can get a quality workout in under an hour if I run. But I can't ignore the toll running has had on my body. But I also can't ignore the fun I've had or the way running has kept me in shape. Plus, running is a lot cheaper than cycling. The most expensive pair of running shoes I own cost me $100. Try finding a decent bike for that.

When my colleagues and friends ask me why I run, if running isn't wearing my body down, I tell them I need that escape from the realities of life that only running can provide. Running is one pure thing I can do where my only competition is me. I'm not running against the clock, another person, or even the world. I run to make myself better. I run to think and dream and zone out the noise of a frantic life.

I guess one can do this cycling. There were many times back when I rode every day where I pretty well got lost in my own thoughts and got caught up in the mindless cadence of my pedaling. But you can't stop and walk and slow down on a bike the way you can while out for a run.

A few years ago, while working at a different school, I ran a few times with an old friend. He's pretty much a toothpick, going 150 lbs soaking wet, if even that. He looks like a runner with his skinny legs and tight gait. The first thing I noticed about a block or two into our run he was not wearing a watch. Odd, I thought. Mine was reset and counting the minutes. Then, he did something I thought was really crazy. As we crossed the bridge over the railroad tracks, a train was slowly moving underneath us. He screamed, "Cool, check it out!" He stopped dead and hung over the rail. My watch didn't care about the train. It was still running and I wasn't. Instantly I grew perturbed. It must have shown on my face because he looked at me and said, "What?" I smirked and we carried on toward his house. Of course, he stopped a couple more times before we finished our 5-mile destination. While sitting in his yard, I just had to ask. "Okay man, you've ran 4-5 marathons and you run 30-40 miles a week, yet you wear no watch and you stop all the time--why?" He smiled, looked me in the eye, and replied, "Why not?" He's right...why not? Who cares?

Make running fun for yourself, not a chore. I guess that's why I keep on running in spite of the hurts I have. Like my buddy Scott, I've learned to stop and smell the honeysuckle or check out something cool on my runs. My best friend (Dale) and I were inseparable, especially as runners. But he's always been a clock and not stop guy. I've decided life's too short to worry about my watch or keep running with my head down and never notice the beauty that surrounds me.

Have fun out there, whether you walk, run, or ride. We live in a beautiful world and God has given us a lot to look at. Don't pass it up.

That's my confession...what's yours?

TFR

The Strength of Running

2008-06-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

I have this friend, Jason, who's fighting his own battle with his weight. He and I were emailing back and forth the other night and he admitted he has to interrupt his running by walking. My answer: do it!

As a faithful reader of Runner's World magazine, I religiously subscribe to the teachings of former Olympic marathoner and coach Jeff Galloway. For years, Galloway has taught his trainees to add walking to their long training runs. He advocates walking as a means to extend runs without injury. Walking uses different muscles than running so it allows your legs to rest while increasing the duration of your runs. I tried it and it works. Don't believe me? Go check out Jeff Galloway's web site and subscribe to his free newsletter: www.jeffgalloway.com

When I talk to guys like Jason, it really inspires me to want to help out and share what I've learned. For example, he and I were deep in discussion the other night over what running shoe he should buy. That's right up my alley. I have tried a lot of shoes in the last 11 years of running and have opinions on many styles and brands. The one thing I have discovered is there's not a perfect running shoe for everyone. What works for me may not work for a guy of my similar weight. Jason's a big guy and I'm proud he's taking up running. He needs a well-constructed, quality shoe that will support his frame. But, he also needed to adhere to a budget so he couldn't afford to break the bank purchasing a good shoe. I'm 6'1", go 244 lbs, and usually spend anywhere from $75 on up for my shoes. I recommend many of the Asics models, particularly the Gel-Kayano, Nimbus, and Cumulus series. New Balance makes some good shoes for bigger runners, as does Nike. Just be careful when looking at Nike as they tend to run a bit narrow.

Big guys need stability, which can add weight to a shoe. I don't like heavy shoes, although I'm running in one right now, the New Balance 992. It is a classic, stability shoe with no bells and whistles. My shoe is the old suede gray and it's not fancy at all, but it works for me. I also ordered a pair of Asics Gel-Kayano 14 shoes and I haven't been disappointed in them at all. For any runner, it's trial and error. Just like our favorite restaurant, we have to find something that works for us and, in the words of the old Texas Longhorns coach Darrell Royal, "dance with them that brung us."

One piece of advice and this is just from my own personal experience--stay away from the Nike Shox series. They are not made for serious running, especially for larger runners. If you notice, they seldom get any notice from the Runner's World shoe review. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing them reviewed in the magazine. They will hurt your feet if you're a big runner.

Here's a few recommendations for running shoes for bigger guys (190 lbs-250 lbs):

Higher end price, but worth it, in my opinion:
Asics Gel-Kayano 14
Asics Gel Nimbus
New Balance 992
Nike Zoom Vomero

Mid-price:
Asics Gel 1120
Brooks Adrenaline
Nike Air Pegasus

Oh, and I've gotten to where I won't buy retail ever again. I found a great place on-line to buy running shoes. Check this site out and tell me if it isn't worth every penny:
www.holabirdsports.com

The Asics Gel-Kayano 14 sells in my city for an average of $135. I got them at Holabird Sports for $105 with shipping and handling included, no tax. I saved more than $45. The New Balance 992 sells for $107 at Holabird which is far less than retail. I don't think you'll be sorry you ordered from them. I got my Kayanos in about 4 days.

Hey, I hope some of this helps you. Find what works for you and keep doing it. Try walking with your running and see what happens. If you discover a great workout, share it here. And if you find great deals on running shoes, pass that along to the rest of us.

Good luck, God bless, and happy running!

TFR

Where'd I Go?

2008-06-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

I'm b-a-a-a-ck! Maybe with a vengeance, maybe not. At any rate, I'm back after a lengthy hiatus from blogging. When last you heard from me, I was on a tirade about the state of my job as a teacher. And even though it isn't always fun, I don't want anyone to think I don't believe for one minute I'm incredibly blessed. I'm blessed just to have a job to complain about. Every morning I awake, I'm in a nice, warm bed next to my beautiful wife. We live in a wonderful home, better than anything I've ever had in my entire life. We drive two cars that actually start in the morning. I have a choice of clothing and, according to my wife, way too many running shoes.

That being said, all this is possible because my wife and I have well-paying jobs that afford us to live better now than ever. Could things be better in our profession? Sure. But, I can't sit here and dwell on that. As much as I'd like to make a few Congressmen substitute for a while and draw my pay for a few months, I know there are others out there, like classroom assistants, that are paid far less than me.

I just felt the need to address my last blog before moving on to other, more pressing items. Since my last blog, my youngest daughter has graduated from high school. She's now on an insulin pump and her sugars are vastly improved. She continues to struggle with diabetes, but she's doing better now than anytime during the last three years since her diagnosis.

My oldest daughter is still in college, pursuing a degree in secondary education. She'll make a fantastic middle school teacher. She has the attitude to work with middle schoolers, like her old man. My wife is doing well and still teaching those little knee-hugging four-year olds.

It's now summer break and we're all enjoying some time off. But, my wife and I have been teaching elementary summer school. I actually taught bilingual pre-kindergarten for three weeks. I now love my job as a middle school art teacher. I don't know how my wife has done it for twenty years. Yikes!

I hope someone will take the time to read my blogs like I have many of yours out there. Every now and then, I browse through different blog sites and I'm amazed at some of the writing and passion of the bloggers I encounter. There are so many good stories out there I fear are going unread by the public, at large. And that's too bad. You're missing out on some great stuff.

I apologize for steering off the course from what this blog was originally intended to be. As the title suggests, "Confessions of a Fat Runner" was and still is supposed to chronicle my running experiences. I'm still a fat runner, tipping the scales at 244 lbs. right now. Eventually I'd like to be the medium-sized runner, but for now I still push through the mileage and fight to keep my weight under control.

It is my hope you'll stop in every now and then, have a cup of coffee with me, and check out what I have to say. I hope to inspire people, not turn them off with negativity. I love the sport of running and I want to share that enthusiasm with you. There are a lot of you out there just like me. You enjoy running and maybe you've had weight problems and are trying to battle your bulge, like I do. Hang with me once in a while and I'll do my best to give you some of the wisdom I've gained from losing 100 lbs.

As soon as I post this blog there will be another one following devoted to nothing but running. If I lost you, I hope you'll come back for a visit. I'll try to make it worth your while.

That's my confession...what's yours?

God bless you!

The One and Only--Fat Runner

It May Look Like Fun, But It Isn't

2008-03-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't done much blogging lately I guess because I don't have a lot to say. That is, until now. My neighbor and fellow art teacher at school sent me a blog she found written by an art teacher somewhere in America. The title of her blog was "It Looks Like Fun." The bulk of her blog described in detail how people often tell her that her job looks like fun. She went on to discuss why it's not.

Well, I'd like to add my two cents worth as I describe how much "fun" the job of teaching is. Sure, I'm "just an art teacher" and my kids don't take the most ridiculous state-assessed, standardized, piece of crap on the planet, the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS). In Texas, "real teachers" are measured by the subject they teach. If you're an elective teacher, then you are, as one school executive referred to electives as, "The Uncores." So, that really boosts our self-esteem as professionals, let me tell you.

If that isn't bad enough, I'll give you the blow-by-blow of my job and you be the judge of whether or not it's fun. In my sixth, and hopefully last, year of teaching, I've seen my job get tougher and tougher. Granted, I'm not in Iraq getting shot at by anyone, and I'm not a police officer risking life and limb each day. But, I put up with an enormous amount of crap from kids that could care less about what I'm teaching and the parents that have created them, with society's help.

I work in a building that has one copier for 45 teachers and approximately 15 support staff. When there's a line at the copy machine, or it breaks down, which is often, you go to plans B and C.

Let's return to the aforementioned apathetic children and how difficult they can make the day for anyone trying to teach. Thanks to No Child Left Behind, and the idiots that authored it, your child has to sit in the same class with Little Johnny--fledgling serial killer. At one time when I was a kid, you could point out the class clown. Now, you have a whole class full of them. So, I am constantly redirecting and disciplining the monster children our wonderful, caring parents send us, while the few good kids sit there and suffer. Meanwhile, the attendance clerk is coming in, frantically wanting to know why I haven't taken roll this period. Excuse me, but I'm trying to do this little thing called TEACHING and don't really give a crap about attendance at this juncture. I'm too busy dealing with craphead(s) at the back table that are knocking someone's books off the table. Never mind I spent two hours preparing the lesson and Powerpoint that goes with it, Little Johnny seems to think that someday his boss will put up with his crap the way the school system does.

Halfway through my lesson I have a kid bellow out at another "shut up!" So, once again I have to stop, pull out an office referral and kick two kids out of my room. This seems to calm them down for the moment. Your talking about a person that writes maybe two referrals in an entire year and I've already written 7 in this semester alone.

Wait, it gets better. This class mercifully ends, but my last class will be coming soon. This little gem is 78 minutes long because we do a little thing called Advisory. Ah, 30 minutes of pure hell that is set aside each day for kids to have a study hall or tutorial time. Since its inception, it has been nothing more than 30 additional minutes of discipline and one more headache I could do without. And did I mention our art classes have become the dumping site for special education kids that are primed to explode at any moment? That's sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?

You tell me. What other profession has to put up with such nonsense? Who else has to take the wretched refuse of the campus into a course that is meant to develop a child's sense of creativity and appreciation for the arts. Pretty much every civilized nation in the world was founded on and has a deep love of music and art, but the United States of America.

I'm just curious, what other job out there can you be fired from because a student cheats on the state assessment because you weren't "actively monitoring" the classroom? Ours does. We sign an oath to "protect the safety and ensure the integrity of the state assessment." Go take the SAT and if you're caught cheating, see who gets booted. Is it the proctor, or the test-taker? I'm pretty sure it's the latter, as it should be.

As teachers, we're expected to justify every move we make, much like an NFL head coach. The only difference is he makes millions and I make less than $42,000 after 6 years. My wife makes less than $50,000 with nearly 20 years of teaching experience.

Sure, we get summers off, but big woof. But the time May gets here you're so tired you don't have the energy or the money to enjoy much of a summer. If Texas has its way, school will last longer each year. At some point, you look at your salary and realize you have a Master's degree (I get an extra $480 a year for that) and could do something else.

Parents want to know why you're picking on the gem of their gene pool. This is the same kid they don't want in their homes alone with matches and sharp objects, but we're the bad guys? Riiiiight.

So, you tell me. Does this sound like fun? I know, I know, then why did I become a teacher? It fell into my lap and I ran with it. I bust my butt to make good lessons and would die for these kids, even when their own parents choose their boyfriends over them. I would give anything just to think my kids care, but they watch the adults at home lie, steal, cheat on each other, and they think that's how life is supposed to be.

Tell me when it's fun. Teaching isn't about knowledge. Lots of IBM rocket scientists leave the world of lab coats and Bunsen burners to pursue teaching, only to quickly realize education is about managing a classroom, dealing with crud all day, and appeasing parents when you fail their kid. As soon as they come in, they leave with their Ph.D'd tails between their legs. Ask them if teaching is fun.

With the grace of God, I won't be in this much longer. I've got a lot to offer and I'm ready to find a place that wants it, will embrace it, and will reward me for what I can do. I'm tired of dealing with all the Little Johnnies out there. There's too many to count and I don't want to do it one more year.

So, next time you're in a school, or you're talking to a friend that happens to be a teacher, remember, it may look like fun, but it isn't.

TFR

If a Tree Falls...

2008-02-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

Or, if a blog is written and no one reads it, was it really written? Profound, huh? I've decided I'll keep blogging even if not very many people read them. My mom loves me and that's all that counts.

I ran today and it felt like my legs had pit bulls strapped to them. It was colder than I originally anticipated so that slowed me down a little. I'm not really training for anything so I don't know if the mileage I'm logging is classified as "junk miles," or what. They don't feel like junk to me, although my legs did today.

Switching gears, I think I've decided to start pursuing my dreams, slowly and incrementally. I have been an artist all my life and I teach middle school art. I don't passionately work on artistic projects around the house like my colleague does. With so many friends telling me I need to seriously get after the gift from God I've received, I think it's time I follow their advice. There's no way I could make a living painting, but at least I can do a few paintings here and there and hopefully get some gallery showings around town. So, this summer, I'm going to clear an area in my garage as a makeshift studio, invest in a new easel and quality supplies, and get busy.

Here's my random walk in the park of the day. Today in Careers class, I told my eighth graders I firmly believe I'm teaching the next President of the United States, the next Governor of Texas, next business leader, banker, lawyer, nurse, doctor. But I know I'm teaching the next husband and wife and the next mother and father. I told them if I fail in teaching the latter the former won't matter to me at all. The lesson was on personal and professional priorities. My professional priority, as an educator, is to teach my kids to be the best young men and women they can be. I'm training my students to be good citizens, not to fill a seat and answer some questions. I'd rather they pass the test of life and not the state assessment. For Jesus said, "Come and I'll make you fishers of men." That's my job, to help my students be fishermen in order to feed themselves, their families, and their community.

Another random comment. I can't wait to start wearing Depends. Just think...I'd never have to get off the couch during the Super Bowl again. Food for thought.

That's my confession o' the day...what's yours?

TFR

Old Friends

2008-02-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last post. I started questioning whether my blog mattered to anyone, especially me. Well, tonight my question was answered. I received a phone call from someone I haven't heard from in a more than a dozen years. When I walked in this evening, my oldest daughter said, "You got a phone call from someone from Roswell." Now, I grew up in Roswell and had a best friend there and his two sisters that were like my own family. So, I instantly grew reticent to return the call as I feared I was about to hear some grave news.

A little background information is needed before I proceed. My best friend of many years, Paul, and I had a falling out at my own hands about 12-13 years ago. It was my fault--period. The last time I talked to his sisters was back when I lived in New Mexico. Those girls, both near my age, were very special to me. I loved them like they were my own sisters, but what they didn't know is I had crushes on them both. So, it was hard to separate the brotherly, I'll kick anyone's butt that messes with them feelings, from genuinely finding them attractive. But, I was a big, fat dork that could barely muster up a complete sentence with girls when I was in high school.

Fast forward to this evening. I checked the caller ID and found the number. With great trepidation I dialed the number. The voice on the other end was immediately recognizable. She said, "Is this Gregg?" I smiled from ear to ear as I asked, "Is this Irene?" Nothing had changed. Here she is 40 and I hadn't spoken to her in what seemed a lifetime and she sounded exactly as I remember. It was like I fell into a time capsule as we began to discuss the events of our lives. It was great. I learned so much about her and her sister. At least no one had died and no animals were harmed or maimed in the making of this film.

We talked for over an hour, but it felt more like 5 minutes. I would still be talking to her right now if I could. I caught up on my best friend and what was going on in his life. She told me both she and Barbara, her sister, were talking about me the other night and wondered if I had a MySpace account. They looked me up and found my site which has a link to this blog. They clicked on my blog link and began reading my posts. It was from that they decided to call me. That's a God thing.

So, my friends, my blog actually matters to someone. Right now, it really matters to me and I'm going to get back to writing regular posts. I hope Irene and Barbara will read this latest post and know how full my heart feels at this moment. You'll never know how incredibly happy you made me this evening and how much I want to see you. You represent a part of my life that is happy and was a lot of fun. You remember the old me when I was fat and yucky and cared little for myself and even less about serving God. But still, we shared some fun times together and I hope we can relive some of those again.

I challenge anyone reading this to pick up the phone and call someone you've lost touch with. Rekindle an old friendship that you thought was lost forever. God's word is filled with do-overs. I got one tonight and so could you.

To Barbara and Irene: you are my sisters and I love you very much. Thank you for remembering me and I thank God he moved you to call me. Let's not make this the last time. Let's make this the start of something special. To everyone out there...God bless you and make the most of your relationships.

That's my joyful confession...what's yours?

TFR

More Things Important Than Football

2008-01-14T16:30:00.000-08:00

Often times, we American sports fans get so wrapped up in supporting our teams we forget there's a whole other world out there. Yes, my Dallas Cowboys, whom I've loved and cheered on for almost four decades, lost a heartbreaking game last night, but that's nothing compared to the heartache someone feels over the loss of a murdered daughter, who just happened to be a United States Marine.

I admit I haven't been following this story as closely as I should, but I took the time last night to listen to the story as it was reported on Headline News and then Nancy Grace carried it in greater detail. This woman, who gave her life to serve her country didn't die at the hands of an enemy in a land half-way around the world. No, she was killed by a coward in the same uniform.

What happened to honor and decorum? How does a Marine rape and kill another Marine, let alone a human being killing another in cold blood? After watching the story and listening in horror as police extracted the body of this lifeless and PREGNANT, young lady from the shallow grave she was thrown in by her killer, it hit me that a football game really doesn't matter.

I'm the father of two beautiful girls and I can only imagine what this woman's parents are going through. It must be horrific. It makes my heart hurt that such evil is pervasive in our world. We can only hope the perpetrator is brought to justice swiftly and will face the maximum penalty for this heinous crime.

I pray for the soul of this girl and am humbled by her story. It serves to remind me there are things more important than football.

Take care of each other. Quit running red lights because you think you need to be someplace RIGHT NOW. Stop the road rage. Be kinder to each other and remember the mercy you receive is equal to the mercy you give.

That's my heartfelt confession for this evening...God bless you.

TFR

Way Overpaid

2008-01-13T17:29:00.000-08:00

You guys know I'm a Cowboys fan and I knew we were in trouble when New York drove the field in :43 to tie the game before the half. What a waste of one of the greatest drives in playoff history.

It's plain to see, and this is no secret as it plagues a mediocre NFL, that the Cowboys have some guys that are way overpaid for what the do on the field. Today cast a glaring light on a few players that have done nothing but either kill or extend drives on both sides of the ball.

I'd like to hand out some tin-plated game balls to some of Dallas' overpaid millionaires. First, thank you Patrick Crayton for dropping what was the biggest throw of the day for Tony Romo. Romo busts his rear to make a spectacular play and you let him, and all of us, down. There was nothing but daylight in front of you, so you must've been distracted by the possibility of being the Miller Lite Most Valuable Player for hauling that in and sprinting to Cowboy immortality. Instead, you showed us all what a choke you are.

Second, to Columbo and Adams for all your false starts all year long and how they came to a head in the biggest game of the year. I'll cut Flozell a little slack because at least he kept Romo alive and Strahan at bay. But Colombo? You stink, dude. Have yourself a nice off-season and take your tin ball with you.

Third, the Dallas Cowboys secondary deserves a great round of applause for making Jon Kitna, Jason Campbell, and Eli Manning look like hall of famers. This all began in Detroit and fittingly ended in our backyard. Led by Roy "I can't catch a cold if I stood out in the snow naked" Williams, the Dallas defensive backfield gave more cushion than a leather La-Z-Boy. I'd really like to thank Jacques Reeves for his lack of participation today. So, to all of you that allowed Eli to drive the Giants to the tying score after getting a 10-minute plus rest...Thanks!

I'll give Romo some credit for always making things exciting for us fans, but when he commits those mindless mistakes, like getting an intentional grounding penalty, or tossing a pick, it reminds us he has a long way to go. He violated Parcells' 11 Commandments that are hanging in his locker at Texas Stadium. Parcells told him, "When all around you are in chaos, you must keep your head." It was clear there in the last 2:00, Tony was losing it. He's 27 and will be a great one in time.

I know I'm coming down pretty hard on my team, but when you see a marvelous 13-3 season slip away, especially in those last three games, it just makes you wonder where the problems began, who is going to fix them, and where will the Cowboys be next year? It has been 11 seasons, now going on 12, since Dallas has won a playoff game. How can that be? I wonder if Troy Aikman puked all over Joe Buck after Fox signed off.

So, instead of enjoying another week of football and hoping Dallas would beat its old nemesis, Brett Favre, which I don't think they could have, I'll be casually flipping the channels next Sunday without worrying about the outcomes. I do hope Favre can now carry the Packers to the promised land, but the New England Death Star with Darth Belicheck is out there waiting.

Here's hoping JerryJones sends a message loud and clear to his overpaid bunch tomorrow morning, by cutting Colombo and Williams, and maybe even letting Crayton go, as well. He needs to let these guys know they are paid to do a job and they didn't get it done.

That's my postseason rant and good luck to the Packers next week.

The Fat Runner and disgusted Cowboys fan!

The Resolutionary War

2008-01-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

My feet move steadily, as my breaths are short and precise. I'm on mile three of a four-mile run. I'm in the process of completing an 18-mile week. So far so good in keeping with my New Year's resolution to run more quality mileage.

If I didn't run another mile, it wouldn't matter if I failed in my most important of resolutions--to spend more time with God. 12 days into the year and my wife and I have held firm to reading our Bible together every day. I try to spend my driving time to work every morning in prayer and I've been successful in that venture. I am really enjoying the time I get to spend with my wife as we do our daily Bible study.

I don't know if I've even lost a pound, which really wasn't high on my priority list, but I figure as my mileage increases, I'll lose a little weight. Last week, I came in at 243 lbs. and I feel really good. My stomach hasn't been bugging me nearly as much as it did at the end of 2007, so that's a real plus. Hopefully, I'll drop below 240 before spring break.

Tomorrow, I begin to attack another of my goals and that is to train for a half-marathon. I printed off a training schedule from the Runner's World web site and I'm good to go. As soon as church is over tomorrow morning, I'll hurry home, throw on my running clothes, and head for my favorite running spot to get in a long run.

If you don't know me, you'd probably be surprised to know I run at all. I don't think I look all that bad and I do have runner's legs, but the rest of me leaves something to be desired. If my gut was as tight as my calves I'd be all right. Oh well. I'm the Fat Runner, hoping to be a thinner, more efficient runner in 2008, and I won't worry too much about the way I am. God loves me and that's what really counts.

I hope you're hanging in there with your resolutions. If you like to read my blog, please hold me accountable, particularly where God is concerned. Like David, I desperately want to be "a man after God's own heart." If I can do that, then my relationship with my wife, kids, friends, and co-workers will prosper.

That's my continued resolutory confession...what's yours?

God bless you as we move into the year!

TFR

None of the Above

2008-01-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

Did any of you happen to catch the debate last night? Have you listened to any of the multitude of mindless candidates that have lined up to run our country (further into the ground)? They are, in a word, unbelievable. No really, you can't believe any of them.

When it comes to politicians, it's six of one, half dozen of the other. For either side to say they have made the economy better or worse is laughable. This snowball called the bureaucracy of the federal government began back when a bunch of powdered-wig wearing, plantation owners got together and put authored a document that would eventually lead to the demise of the very nation they sought to create.

Neither Republicans nor Democrats can take credit or affix blame for the mess we're in. It has been spiraling out of control for over 200 years. And as soon as lawyers/politicians got their ugly mitts on the Constitution and began twisting every word in it for their own good, that pretty much signaled the end of a good thing.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-government. I love my country and would die defending it. What I am is anti-stupid, anti-theft, anti-moron, and anti-liar. I guess you have to be pathological to be a politician to begin with. It helps when you can believe your own lies because at least you don't change expressions while feeding Americans a load of bull so deep we're all choking in it.

Where did common sense go? Thomas Paine, where are you now? I often wonder if our founding fathers were alive today how they would respond to the wretched band of cowards that are festering and oozing in the hallowed halls of Capital Hill. Would Georgie Boy puke all over his riding boots? Would Ben Franklin run out into the thunderstorm, kite in hand, and pray to be hit by lightning? And Thomas Jefferson, would he take solace in the arms of Sally Hemmings, saying "What the hell happened?" Maybe if John Hancock were here to witness this mess he might want his giantic signature back.

Who knows what they would do? They might just join in and give themselves a raise right along with the rest of Washington's finest. Someone needs to design a video game that brings back the Revolutionary War heroes to do battle with today's gutless wimps. Of course, they would be struck down by the evil PAC groups and their war-chests.

So, when I look at what, not who, is running for President I have to wonder if voting is actually going to matter in the grand scheme of things. It's going to take someone that doesn't care if they only serve one term, but damn the torpedoes, things will change for the best. And that is just a dream.

The only way things will change, and I mean the ONLY way, is if the entire political machine is completely dismantled. Could you imagine how the rest of the candidates would gasp in disbelief if just one of these educated fools would stand before Wine Spritzer, or Wolf Blitzer, or whatever his name is and utter that incredulous statement? "If I win, I will begin the process of systematically taking apart the federal government," sayeth the candidate, with conviction. "Today, ladies and gentleman, we begin anew, banishing forever the influences of those that would destroy everything our forefathers and dead warriors fought so gallantly to preserve." "Let the 21st Century be forever known as the age of action, not words, and as my first role as President I order the military home from Iraq to stand watch in the halls of Congress and the front lawn of the White House as we begin the process of change." "This same brigade of brave men and women who have served so well in the debacle in the Middle East will now defend our borders as we the people will say with one voice, 'the real Bank of America is closed until further notice."

Let us have one brave man or woman willing to say that on national TV on CNN (the Clinton News Network) in front of millions of hardworking Americans and that's the person that gets my vote.

Until then, I vote "none of the above." Because none of them deserve the privilege of serving as my President. Not as long as they represent what is wrong with America.

Come clean, tell the truth, and really make an effort to change this country, whether you are running for Congress, President, governor, or mayor. Our country can continue to be a beacon of freedom, respected for the principles that drove its founding, or we can carry on and go nowhere.

I vote "none of the above." What are you going to do?

The following message was paid for by my empty wallet that goes to fund $400 haircuts and supporting people that don't want to work.

TFR

Life on the Fake Road

2008-01-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

Put the title above to "Life in the Fast Lane," by the Eagles. The "fake road" is my affectionate nickname for the treadmill.

Lately, I've spent a lot of time, and miles, on a road that goes nowhere (music and lyrics by The Talking Heads). The fake road has been my friend during the early winter months. Here in Amarillo, every day is another windy one. We actually beat Chicago one year for the most windy days. Sorry Steven, but Amarillo should've been called "The Windy City."

I've struggled with a bacterial infection in my stomach, so put that with cold, windy weather and I'm relegated to logging hours staring at a digital panel and a televisions in the gym I can't even hear. Thanks Apple for making iPod with no FM tuners! But, I get to listen to my playlist to pass the time in the comfort of indoor serenity. All I need is some fake birds chirping and I'm all set. I do find listening to music makes my rage against the machine a little calmer. Actually, I don't really rage against it. I like it, kinda sorta.

The tread has its place. I understand that. It will never replace the enjoyment of being outdoors, but it comes in handy when your pressed for time or the weather prohibits an outside run. Even in the summer I sometimes find myself pounding the conveyor since I'm not a morning person and if you wait until it cools off you'll be running at midnight on some days.

Either way, I am a runner. I feel like I'm accomplishing something, one way or the other. Sure the elements aren't there to make a run as challenging, but it's cool to see people I know coming in and out of the cardio area, especially when my students see me up on that machine. They can't resist coming over to say hi, even after I've been with them all day. You can't get that outside.

Life of the fake road ain't all bad. The fake road serves its own calibrated purpose and makes life a little easier. Tomorrow's supposed to be nice, so I'll do my best to get out there and enjoy the warmth in January.

Do you like treadmill running? If so, tell me. If you don't, tell me why. Running on a machine is tricky and can make you feel like George Jetson. Trust me. Been there, done that!

Hope you had a splendid weekend and will have a great start to the week on Monday.

That's my treadmill confession...what's yours?

TFR

The Devil and Mr. Jones

2008-01-05T19:52:00.000-08:00

If I see one more Pepsi commercial with Jerry-I-could-coach-the-Cowboys-Jones, I may puke. Somehow, I have this feeling in my gut that Mr. Jones may be meddling in team affairs, again. That might explain why the Boys have been slumping, as of late. Either that, or Roy Williams is trying to cover everyone on the field. Not sure which it is.

I'm just not a big fan of Jerry. And have you noticed he looks more like "Weekend at Jerry's" every time the camera is on him? He's had so many chemical peels and facelifts I think he's auditioning to be one of the Real Housewives of Orange County. It's kind of scary.

What prompted me to write this, I'm not completely certain, but I'm just tired of seeing him on the sidelines, in commercials, or anywhere else, for that matter. He's the only owner in the NFL with his own show. What's up with that?

Speaking of the aforementioned Roy Williams, it may be time to cut him loose. Jack "Hacksaw" Reynolds, the old San Francisco 49ers middle linebacker, used to wear a t-shirt that said, "I'm too old, too slow, and I can't cover anybody." He needs to pass that shirt along to Williams. Roy's not too old, but somewhere along the way, the former Sooner has lost his punch. I loved his tenacity and hard-hitting nature when he first came into the league, but he absolutely cannot cover anyone (see Santana Moss and Jeremy Shockey) and he uses his shoulder to tackle instead of his arms. On too many occasions he's been a liability in the secondary.

Change the channel: The Steelers just scored to retake the lead from Jacksonville. Have you ever seen a smarter, more competitive receiver than Heinz Ward? I'd take him in Dallas in a heartbeat.

Well, that's my rant for this evening. I guess I got a burr in my saddle and had to satisfy it somehow. What better place than the world-wide-web, huh?

Enjoy the playoffs and let's hope the Cowboys show up minus Jerry in the booth sipping his Pepsi Max while the other coach catches his breath.

TFR

Rambo: Thin Blood, Part IV (Intravenous)

2008-01-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

By now you've probably heard Sylvester Stallone is back as the out-for-blood, action hero, John Rambo. I thought the first two Rambos were all right, especially his spin on trapped Vietnam P.O.W.'s in First Blood, Part 2.

But now, Rocky, er, Tango, um, Rambo is back with a vengeance. He's 61 and he's angry. Apparently the plot of the film goes like this. John Rambo, now interned in the Happy Valley Retirement Home gets upset when the cafeteria runs out of his favorite Jell-O. He goes absolutely ballistic as he creates a shank out his plastic spork and then proceeds to obliterate everyone in sight. Rambo then fashions a pair of bulletproof Depends and takes on a group of security guards whom he keeps calling "Soviets." From here it gets pretty brutal as the devastation, and false teeth, gets deeper.

Stallone has outdone himself on this one. No, I mean he has REALLY outdone himself. Other than anyone born in the 40's, I can't imagine anyone shelling out $7 to see a reprieve of an over-the-hill star raising hell in the jungle.

Now, Rocky Balboa really wasn't as bad as I initially thought it would be. I thought the notion of a 60-year old man fighting a 30-year old was going to be a stretch, but actually it was written and filmed very well. The best scene in the whole film is when the former champ gives his son the brow-beating of a lifetime. Rocky's words may just go down as some of the best advice to give a young man as he looks for his place in the world. In fact, I typed them up and gave a copy to each of my 8th grade careers students on our final day of last semester.

If you haven't seen the movie, Rocky Balboa, it really is a decent final chapter and a fitting way for the champ to go out.

Rambo needed to go away, but he's back. I won't waste my time watching it. I'd rather remember Rambo the way he was 20 years ago before he was committed to the home.

Hey, you have a great weekend and let me know if you actually went to see Rambo. I'd like to make fun of you. Joking!

TFR

I'm Encouraged

2008-01-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

It was our first day back at school after an abbreviated Christmas break. That's not the reason I'm encouraged, though. I got some great responses from my fellow bloggers today and that really gets me pumped.

Tom from The Runners' Lounge gave me a shout out earlier and I'm so happy to hear from him. And my friend from the midwest, Steven, chimed in. I really enjoy hearing from you, brother. You guys, and others like you, are the reason I began a blog in the first place. My prayer is this grows into something special.

So, even though I'm tired from being around kiddoes all day, and boy are my spring classes huge, I am completely fired up by reading the comments I received. You have made my day.

Keep those cards and letters coming, boys and girls, and may God bless you with happy blogging and great running!

That's my exhuberant confession...so how was your day?

TFR

Day Two: How's Your Resolutions?

2008-01-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

It's January 2. How many of you are already behind on your resolutions? I'm working on making mine stick. Stephen Covey in his book, "The Seven Habits of Effective People," says it takes doing something 21 times for it to become a habit. So, it'll take 19 more times for me to be habitual in my resolutions.

Already, I've stuck to a couple which I figured would be much tougher than it seems. Like drinking coffee. Typically, I drink two 24 oz. cups a day. I try to have decaf in the evenings, but I still spruce it up with creamer, and that's added fat I don't need. Reducing the caffeine alone will help lower my blood pressure and that's, as Martha says, a good thing.

Last night, my wife and I began our daily Bible reading. I'm excited about doing this with her. I want us to be a more prayerful couple and to study the Bible together.

I'm off to a great start on making my runs more meaningful. I want to run with a purpose instead of just running for running's sake. I need the fitness boost and weight loss, but I want to be more goal-centered and hit a few 5k's and maybe even a half-marathon this year.

Tomorrow will begin another resolution. We go back to school tomorrow (yeah, on a Thursday!) and it's my goal to make this semester my best yet. I want my lesson plans to be tight, on schedule, and everyone on task. I look forward to perhaps a shot at being an assistant principal by this coming summer. This will probably be my last pursuit of this and if things don't work out, I pray God will open a new door for me.

So, here's to everyone meeting their goals and fulfilling their resolutions this year. Let me know how it's going. 2008 is going to be the best year ever!

That's my early year confession...what's yours?

God bless!

TFR

One Cold Run

2008-01-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

I hit the road for the first run of 2008 this afternoon at 4 pm. Brother, it was chilly out there. I checked the temp before I left the house and it was 36 with a slight wind from the northeast.

Today's run would be in my favorite place. In fact, I chronicled the site in an earlier post called "Fave Runs." I parked in Wolflin at my usual spot. Hopped out and got stretched and then hit cobblestones.

Even wearing a sweatshirt, hoodie, winter hat, and gloves it was still cold. I ran in shorts, which is my trademark. No matter what the weather conditions happen to be, I'm always in shorts, unless I'm at work.

The cold air was exhilarating, but wore me down. I managed 4 miles and with my cooldown walk I stopped my watch at 45:06. I figure I ran an 11:00 pace since I took one minute walks every 10 minutes. My knees were red from the cold.

2008 is off to good start and I can't wait for more. I finished '07 with some respiratory and stomach problems that I hope I'll kick soon.

If you like to run, give me a holler and tell me about your favorite places to run, your running experiences, and running goals for the year. I'd love to hear from you. I hope we'll get more readers coming to visit my site.

I found a really neat running site you might be interested in. It's called The Runner's Lounge. I found it purely by accident and now I have a profile listed on it. It's a great cyberplace for runners to gather and I really love the tips and forums shared by regular running Joes and Janes. Go check it out and tell me what you think. Click this link and give it a look:
http://www.runnerslounge.com

Take it easy and happy running to all.

TFR

New Year's and Do-overs

2008-01-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

I love New Year's Day. Football is on every channel, but that's not the real reason I love this day. There's a simplicity this day brings in the midst of the complexities of life called a "do-over."

All the things I did wrong last year--all my broken resolutions--can be righted. Like the half-marathon I had to back out of because of health issues. I wanted to lose a little more weight and didn't accomplish that goal. The time I should've been spending in God's word got pushed to the back shelf as life kept competing for every precious minute in my day-planner.

New Year's Day brings the hope of renewal. It's the next year Cubs' fans always talk about. It's the time we ponder all the possibilities before us, like changing careers, or rekindling relationships, or improving ourselves.

I'm just minutes away from embarking on my first run of the New Year. And as I enter into this endeavor I do it with a hope of fresher legs and a chance to be a better runner in 2008. Yes, I'm the Fat Runner. I'd like be a skinnier runner in '08, with better endurance and speed for an almost 44-year old.

As I enter this new year of running, I want to regain all the simple pleasures I first discovered in running over a dozen years ago. Those pleasures are the reasons I enjoyed running in the first place.

2008 will be a year of challenges and opportunities, all of which I hope to face with passion and gusto. I'm ready to grab this year by the horns and get after it.

Whatever your do-over, I hope you attack it with all your might. Make 2008 a great year.

My running shoes are laced, my watch is on, and I'm about to grab my hoodie and winter hat. It's 40 degrees out and I can't wait for the fresh, cool air to hit my face.

Life is good and so is the chance of a do-over.

God bless you all with a great year, good running, or whatever it is you're all about.

TFR

Resolutions and Unfulfilled Promises

2007-12-31T09:31:00.000-08:00

2008...can you believe it's already here? This time two years ago, my wife and I were sitting next to my daughter's bed, wondering if she would awake from a coma. We were on day four of her unconsciousness and had ridden a wild roller coaster of emotions as her condition would worsen and then improve only to regress. I still call December 31, 2006 and those wee hours on January 1st the darkest time of my life.

By the early morning of New Year's Day '06, I had poured my heart and soul out to God in a last desperate attempt to beg for my child's life. It was only after I realized that God is God and I am not did things begin to happen. At a little after 6:00 am, Melissa opened her eyes. She recognized and acknowledged everyone around her bed. It was indeed a miracle. She couldn't speak for the ventilator tube in her throat. Her body was wired to every imaginable type of IV and monitor. It had been a frightening, harrowing 5 days and I never want to go through that again.

A godly man would've dropped to his knees and resolved right then and there to live a life above reproach until his last breath. But I didn't. I paid my lip-service "homage" to God, promising him I would change. I thanked him in words but not in actions. Since my daughter's awakening our lives have been nothing short of turbulent and most of it is my fault.

Rather than acknowledge God's greatness and the gift I'd received by getting my daughter back, I still went on my way trying to control my life, instead of giving it to the Lord. I worried about money and how we would pay all these hospital bills. The fact Melissa would need insulin and supplies every three months would now place a weight on my heart. I ran up our credit card to pay bills and get the meds she would need. And I worried and passed that along to my family. I know I've made Melissa feel guilty about being a type-1 diabetic, like it was her choice. I've not been the man my family and my God calls me to be.

It's time for me to fulfill my promises to God, my family, and myself. For starters, I must make time for all three. God needs all of me, not just my words. He needs my time, my heart, and my actions. He needs me to be in his word to learn more about what he's asking of me. The same is true for my family. They need a godly man to lead us, not some wimp that complains about everything.

As for me, I've got to put aside the things that really don't matter and focus on following God and taking care of my family. Control is something I don't give up easily, but if you look at my life you'll quickly see I have no control over anything. If you examine your own lives you'll see the same is true. God is in control. He is God and we are not. He hung the stars and made the universe and didn't need my help.

So, my resolution is to be the son of God I was created for, to love my family, to live life to the fullest, and quit worrying about things.

As usual, I'd like to lose a few pounds and maybe run a half-marathon, or two. And, I'd like to start a new career. I pray new windows open and I can leave my present job and begin a new one. But I'll leave that to God.

God bless you all and Happy New Year!!!

The Fat Runner

What's Wrong With the Cowboys?

2007-12-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

After watching today's loss at the hands of our bitter rivals, the Washington Redskins, I think all of us in the Cowboy world are starting to wonder what's going on. Speaking from a purely Dallas Cowboys' fan perspective, I'll give you my take on what's happening in Big D.

1) It took a while, but the rest of the league, specifically the NFC, have begun to figure out the Cowboys' offense. Tony Romo has had some shaky moments behind center this year. Even with his many miscues, he remains with the top passers in the NFL. That should give some indication of just how talented Romo is. With that being said, the Cowboys are spending way too much time throwing here lately. That leads me to the next point.

2) Run the football. The Cowboys have two incredibly gifted running backs, each possessing their own unique abilities to move the football. The dilemma, and it's a good one, is the Boys have TWO equally talented backs. At some point, in my opinion, Dallas will have to make the difficult decision to make either Julius Jones or Marion Barber the featured back. As Dallas O is becoming predictable and the rest of the NFC are catching up, Dallas is going to have to make the move to give one of these guys the nod. I choose Barber because of his uncanny ability to finish a run straight ahead. It's like having two QB's, which Dallas had back when Landry ran Morton and Staubach in and out on successive plays. Eventually you have to choose your guy and I think it's time for Marion the Barbarian to get his chance.

3) Uncreative play-calling. I love Jason Garrett. He was an outstanding back-up behind Troy Aikman and who could forget his memorable performance against the Packers years ago? He's proven himself as a very capable offensive coordinator and he'll only get better with time. Someday he will be the head coach of the Cowboys. For some reason, he's starting to look more like Ernie Zampese. He's in love with Romo's arm. I'd like to see him move the pocket more and start the game on the ground by pounding Barber until someone stops him. I think the Cowboys are too quick to camp on the pass and abandon the run. As John Madden says..."To win a championship, you have to run the football."

4) We're all right. Yeah we lost to Philadelphia and Washington in the last three games of the year, but we've still got home-field advantage throughout the playoffs and a bye in the first round. The Cowboys simply need to get everyone well, put together a solid game-plan and get out there and execute it. Cut the stupid penalties, control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball the way they have when they dominated Green Bay earlier, and take care of business. Don't listen to the media when they say you're great or when they think you're sliding. Keep Jessica out of the stadium, although the whole team must've been infatuated with her that day. Play Cowboys football the way you know how and get us back into the Super Bowl.

We love our football here in Texas and for us Cowboys fans, we live and die with them. I've always said there's no more fair-weather fan that a Cowboys fan. We're like Yankees followers, without the pinstripes. People love to hate us and that's just fine.

My hope is in late January we'll all be saying nothing's wrong with the Cowboys as they head for another Super Bowl.

Next, we'll discuss what's wrong with the NFL. There's plenty to talk about there.

Enjoy the postseason everyone!

TFR

Practice Safe Blogging

2007-12-30T13:10:00.001-08:00

Have any of you ever clicked on the "Next Blog" link at the top of your page? Well I did and Holy Cow! I started checking out some other blog sites and it was cool, at first. After about the 5th or 6th click a porn site came up and it was horrible. I couldn't believe it.

I thought maybe this was just a hazard of the internet and maybe it was just a random thing. So, I kept browsing and clicking and another porn site, masked as a blog page, blasted across the screen.

Has anyone else experienced this? I wonder, and I'm being naive, if the creators of this blogging network knows this is happening. If so, it's wrong and shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I hope you all practice safe blogging as you venture into the cyberworld, sharing your thoughts and ideas on the world-wide web.

Good luck to you all and I'll talk to you before the new year.

TFR

Happy Bowl Season?

2007-12-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

At 43, I can remember sitting on the floor as a boy, watching the Big Four of college bowl games. Of course, we watched the Rose Parade first thing that New Year's morning. Then, if I recall correctly, the Cotton Bowl, with Lindsay Nelson and Paul Hornung calling the action, kicked off at around noon, followed by the granddaddy, the Rose Bowl, on ABC, then it was off to New Orleans and the Sugar Bowl, and the last game was the Orange Bowl on NBC.

Now I can't exactly remember when the Gator, Peach, Independence, and Sun Bowls began, but I do remember watching them with my dad, so I know they've been around for a while.

Even with the addition of the Fiesta out in Tempe, college football still maintained its identity and control over the quality of play in "major" bowl games.

But along came the decade of corporate sponsorship back in the late 80's and into the 90's and every Tom, Dick, and auto parts store wanted and got its own bowl game. In fact, my friends and I like to make up names for bowl games since they've gotten so ridiculous.

How about the Starbucks Coffee Folgers Dixie Cup Liberal Bowl? Or, The New Mexico Green Chile Tortilla Posole Soup.com Bowl? Try it...it's a lot of fun and would make a great game. We could call it "Name the Bowl Game" game.

My best friend says it doesn't matter. It's football so he watches the games. Unless I'm a real fan of whoever is playing I probably won't pay much attention to the game until it's the major ones in January. I can't imagine the NCAA, ESPN, and the sponsors of some of these ludicrous-sounding fiascos bringing in a big wad of cash from the dozens that are bored enough to tune in.

My point is this. Number One: bring a playoff system to Division 1 college football and, as an ESPN analyst suggested, use the top bowl games as game sites while rotating one bowl game as the national championship. Makes way too much sense, right? Number two: get rid of some of these boring bowl games that make absolutely no difference or impact on the final rankings. I heard a head coach argue that it is exposure for his kids that they might not otherwise get. If only a handful are watching then it's still little exposure. No one cares about the highly-hyped "Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl or the much anticipated Emerald Cashew Mixed Nuts Bowl." Sorry.

I'm a football purist and really don't give a flip about a lot of these games and don't get me started on the NFL. Like the NCAA they have sold out the fan to make another buck to hide in their burgeoning war chest. The NCAA is sending mediocre players into a league that is chock full of mediocrity. All of this is a mirror of a whiney society that doesn't believe in winners or losers and wants to counsel boys every time they get a scratch or don't get picked for the team.

Bring back the best of the best and realize not EVERYONE gets to participate the way little leagues have done. We don't need 32 bowl games. We need 7-8 quality games and a playoff system that will give the smaller-market teams a chance to participate.

Well, with that being said, I'm off to watch the Stop-n-Pop/Truck Stops of America/Gas and Blast/Toot-n-Totum Car Care Central/Allsup's Bean Burrito Bowl. I hope my team wins.

Let me know what you think.

Happy bowl season!!!

TFR

Serious Blogging

2007-12-26T11:20:00.000-08:00

It's no secret I'm trying to turn blogging into a full-time job. Help me make this a reality. If you would share my blog with your friends and ask them to share it with others, that would be a huge step toward fulfilling my goal.

Recently I learned about advertising on my blog site. I'm intrigued by the possibilities that presents. I love writing and sharing useful information and would love for my blog to become a network where others respond and share their insights.

If you can think of other ways to make my blog more successful, please share them with me.

2008 is going to be an exciting year--I can just feel it.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday and had lots of fun with family and friends. Write and share your thoughts, ideas, and experiences with me.

God bless you!!!

TFR

Merry Christmas to All

2007-12-24T14:16:00.000-08:00

It has been a long year. Back when 2007 began, I asked God make this my best year ever.

January began with me contracting a bacterial infection in my stomach that put me down for nearly a month. In March, my youngest daughter, whose depression reached its pinnacle, fell completely apart and was hospitalized with high blood sugars and to treat her mounting depression due to her diabetes and the all the problems it created for her. Then, this same kid slammed into two vehicles, totaling them and hers. Thankfully she wasn't seriously injured.

Just when we thought things were going to calm for our family, my oldest daughter, home from college, was struck by an oncoming car as they both tried to beat the light at the intersection just down from our house. She was seriously injured and wound up with a severe staph infection in her leg that lingered for two months.

The fall and October brought the death of my stepfather who had been recently diagnosed with cancer and had fought a lifelong battle with diabetes. Indeed, there would be many that could say 2007 hasn't been a great year for my family.

But, let's count the blessings, shall we? Yes, my youngest was in deep depression, couldn't sleep for months, and did go to the hospital. She has since been hospitalized twice from complications related to her diabetes. And, she was involved in a three-car accident. Still, she managed to graduate from high school a semester early, has managed her blood sugars beautifully in the last three months of the year, and is already enrolled at our local college where she plans to be a nurse. Blessing one.

Alicia, my oldest, survived her t-boning and lived to walk away from it. Her leg healed and she decided to enroll at a university just a few miles from our city and is now working on her teaching degree. She works two jobs, attends school full-time, and pretty much pays for everything she gets. I'd say she's done pretty well for herself. Blessing two.

While my stomach continues to be a chronic issue, it has made me pay more attention to my diet and self-care. I realize no one will take care of me but ME. All our health issues have made me more keenly aware of the importance of nipping problems before they surface. Blessing three.

My stepfather dying was unexpected and quite a blow to all of us, but it has brought us all together as a closer unit. Thanksgiving was lighter and tonight our Christmas Eve dinner will have more meaning since he won't be there with us. My mom and youngest nephew both have attended church functions with us. I continue to leave the invitation open to my sister, but that's up to her. The fact remains our family is growing closer together. Blessing four.

All of these things have helped me face the little crises with a different perspective. Last week, we had a hot water leak in the hallway by our living room. My wife just began to bawl at the thought of a plumbing bill that might be in the thousands since our home is built on a concrete slab. We both understood at that moment this could be a huge dent in our pocketbooks. But, somewhere, and I believe it was God, I summoned the courage and said, "It'll be all right. It's only money." I said a prayer that evening that God would send us an angel in the form of a plumber with a big heart. He did just that. We needed a new water heater and he fixed the leak. Eventually, the cost was $1500 under my guess-timate. What a tremendous blessing!

Praise God for all the opportunities he's presented me and my family with this year. We've had a chance to grow in our faith as it has been tested so fervently over the past two years. God has created a family of battle-hardened, crisis managers that are willing to fight Satan at every turn and will not fly the white flag in any situation. This is the greatest blessing we received this year.

Rather than look at the bad and flee, we assess the threat, break it down, and stand and fight. We praise God when it's good and praise him when it's bad, because it's never that bad. We have the assurance of eternal life with him and that's all I need to know.

My life is good. 2007 has indeed been my best year ever. On December 31, at 11:59 pm, I will pray that God makes 2008 my best year ever. New Year's Day will be the two-year anniversary of my daughter's survival from the most traumatic event of her life--a coma. What a great way to start my best year ever. To remember my daughter's rebirth and why I am blessed beyond measure.

God bless you all and may 2008 be your best year ever.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a great year!!!

The Fat Runner

Daisies Grow In Darkness

2007-12-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

All was quiet as the young girl pretended to be asleep. She had said a prayer he wouldn't return. She kept mumbling to herself, over and over the same words, "Please don't let him come, please don't let him come." But he did. Night after night.

The smell of alcohol on his breath would stain the girl's memory. It was a nightmare. When she ought to be fast in slumber after a bedtime story and good night kiss, she found herself terrorized instead, waiting each night for the inevitable.

This little girl, whose stepfather would wait until everyone was in bed and all was still, would lie shivering as he made his stealthy, evil walk to her bed where he would ravage her childhood. It all began at age five and didn't end until she was near her teens.

Each time he finished taking another piece of her happiness, he would whisper, "If you tell your mom, she won't believe you." Oh, how many times she wanted to tell. Her heart screamed from within, but no one ever heard it.

Finally, after a few years had past, the girl summoned the courage to tell her mom the dreadful news. And just as her dad had prophesized, her mom called her a liar. That night, he paid another noctural visit and afterward, with whisky fresh on his breath, he uttered, "I told you so."

It took her older sister to finally come forward and support her story, and later two cousins to share the times he had tried to hurt them. The little girl's mom threw her stepfather out and the madness stopped.

Years would pass, but the horror remained vivid in her mind. Every night when she curled up to sleep, she would wait for the sound of the creaking door as it opened, but it didn't. She was never really sure if he was gone or if it was just a dream.

In time, this girl would grow to be a woman and embark on a quest to fulfill her dream of becoming a teacher. She left home and moved far away to attend college. "Out of sight, out of mind," she thought. 300 miles from home gave her some measure of security.

It was while she in college she met her future husband. She called him her "Knight" and "Savior." What she didn't know is he felt the same way about her.

You see, I'm that little girl's husband. She rescued me from myself and didn't even realize it. I remember her waking up in the middle of the night, startled and shaking. I'd jump and ask, "What's wrong?" She would breathe a sigh of relief and say she heard a noise that sounded all too familiar. It was the wind--maybe God's breath--reminding her he was there and so was I and she didn't have to worry anymore.

My wife grew to be a brilliant, fragrant daisy. They say plants need plenty of sunshine and water to survive. But my daisy grew in darkness, emerging strong and vibrant.

She's a teacher now and lives her dream. I get to live mine every day, too. I should say I get to live WITH mine each day.

My daisy grows in God's light and reflects that everywhere she goes. She still carries with her the painful memories of her shattered childhood, but she has taught me a valuable lesson about forgiveness, which is something she made a point to tell her dad before we got married. She let him know he was forgiven and I've never seen a man hurt as bad as he did that day.

If she can forgive him for something like that, then I can forgive others for lesser offenses.

She's my daisy. From darkness into the light she grew and from the light she shines.

TFR

In Hot Pursuit of God

2007-12-19T21:17:00.000-08:00

With Christmas rapidly approaching, and now finding myself engrossed in plumbing repairs that are approaching $2500, it's easy to look at God as my own personal Santa.

Let me clue you in on a piece of information. God's last name is NOT Kringle. He doesn't wear a red suit and he doesn't exist for me to call on when things are going bad in my life. You see, for most of my adult life I have treated God just like a mall Santa. If things were going my way, I rarely called on him. When my wife was hit with a stroke two years ago, I cried and partially blamed him for letting that happen. Then, in the same calendar year, that December my youngest daughter went into diabetic coma and should've died. For four, agonizingly painful days, I saw little hope and felt my heart grow darker each day. It took the fourth day of her coma for me to bottom out and give her back to God. She awoke and right then and there I came to an understanding that God is God and I am not.

As I sat and pondered my plumbing woes this afternoon, something hit me. My wife has really struggled with faith issues these last two years. She's a victim of sexual abuse when she was a child, then endured a stroke, and went through watching her daughter almost die. Every time we have another health issue or financial setback, it's easy for her to take it out on God. What struck me today, and God discusses this concept over and over again in the Bible, (depending on your translation) is that I really am in a marriage relationship with the Lord.

For better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health, no matter what, I am his and he loves me in spite of my shortcomings. In our society, given the wretchedly horrible numbers of divorced in America, most people seem to have selective hearing when it comes to vows. They only hear better, richer, and health. When it comes to worse, poorer, and sickness it's time to throw up their hands and quit.

There's a great quote in the movie, "Facing the Giants" in which the head coach is calling his team to aspire to something greater as they had lost some key games. He tells them, "We praise him [God] when it's good and praise him when it's bad." How apropos!

I'm in a covenant relationship with God, just as Abraham was. Even when things are bad, I give praise to God. At least I have a home that has plumbing. I have a nice vehicle, a job, two healthy kids, and a tremendously faithful wife that I DO NOT deserve! God never promised sunshine, flowers, and rainbows. He did promise Adam life would be hard after he banished him from the Garden.

So, as I'm faced with my own personal "giants," I will praise him in good times and bad, better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health 'til death do I join him in all eternal splendor.

My life is a journey and like the LAPD on Cops, I'm in hot pursuit...of God.

That's my confession. What's yours?

May God bless you!!!

TFR

The Miracle of Life

2007-12-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

We take so many things for granted in life. The sun rises and paints the east a fiery pink hue and then creates a golden glow as it sets for the night. Our kids come in and out with barely a word and maybe, if we're lucky, we get in a quick "I love you" as they fly out the door and out of sight. And what about the way the leaves turn and fall as we move from fall to winter? And then the miracle of the renaissance of spring. For us teachers, that means summer is right around the corner. Ahhhh, summer and then rest.

I guess the one thing I do take for granted is just the mundane, day-to-day moments of living that become so routine. Take our friends, for example.

A little over two weeks ago, my friend and fellow high school church group leader, Roman, experienced something no husband should have to endure. His wife Melissa, 37 and an instructor at a community college 50 miles from her home, was on her way to work when the unthinkable happened. At around 7:30 am, she fell asleep at the wheel. Her SUV flew off the well-traveled Texas highway she was on, struck an embankment, flew over 100 feet in the air, and then flipped multiple times, coming to a rest with the nose of the vehicle pointing downward. Thankfully, Melisssa was wearing her seatbelt; however, it was wrapped around her neck and strangling her.

No one knows for sure how long she was there before a trucker saw the smoke and called 911. When the Texas DPS trooper reached her, she was unconscious, bleeding, and not breathing. It was minutes before the local volunteer fire department and ambulance arrived. Realizing the extreme gravity of the situation, the LifeFlight helicopter was called from Amarillo. Meanwhile, firefighters used the jaws of life to extract Melissa from her mangled truck. From all the accounts I have heard, it was unbelievably bad.

Melissa was flown to the county hospital trauma center in Amarillo and taken immediately to surgery. She had massive swelling of the brain and the doctor told her husband she had little chance of survival. By the time I got the news in an email at work she had been in surgery for several hours. She made it through the procedure but her prognosis for full recovery was very grim.

By the time I reached the hospital that evening, the word was better, but still uncertain. For the first time since my own daughter opened her eyes after being in coma for 4 days, I felt like I could help someone through a similar circumstance. I asked Roman if he was tired of answering the same questions over and over again. He chuckled nervously as he hugged me and cried. At that moment all I could think about was my wife and how I would feel if I lost her. I've been down that road too when she had a stroke coming out of knee surgery two years earlier.

God has placed before me some amazing, life-altering events that have shaped my life. I never asked to be a counselor, but God has given me that ability through the traumatic happenings within our family.

As I look at my family, friends, colleagues, students, and neighbors I believe God is telling me to quit taking things for granted and to count the many blessings I've received. I don't deserve to have a warm home, or nice truck, or good clothes, or even the job I so often can't stand. But God has given me those earthly possessions to teach me to be a good steward. But more importantly, he wants me to be a good steward of my relationships and to never just brush them off.

Melissa is now awake, alert, and talking. She recognized and responded to her kids and husband when she first awoke, which is nothing short of a miracle. Perhaps the most eerie occurrence in this whole period happened the other day when Roman, along with several friends, visited the sight of the accident for the first time. He saw the tire tracks and the impact zone and final resting place of the SUV that fateful morning. As his eyes scoured the scene and tears welled in his eyes he noticed something half-buried in the dried tire tracks. It was a card that had fallen out of Melissa's truck and was stuck in the ground. The card had on it from Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know I the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

If that doesn't give you chills...nothing will. Don't take anything for granted. Especially not the power of God. He has plans for us, just as he has plans for Melissa.

God bless you all with safety and security.

TFR

Passion

2007-11-29T21:37:00.000-08:00

From the title of this blog, it sounds like this blog is going to be juicy, but nope, not even close. After talking with my mentor and close friend this afternoon, he made the comment that I need to decide what my passion is and find a way to pursue it.

Teaching is not my "passion," per se, but I love educating people. God has given me a gift of verbal and spoken communication and I really love creating, planning, and giving presentations. I love getting up in front of people and talking. My other two passions, other than God and family, are writing and running. If I can figure out how to parlay that into a career, then I'd go for it.

I realize it's time to move on. As much as I think I'd make a good administrator at school, I don't fancy doing this in a profession that is buckling under the weight of bureaucracy. I just need to find my passion and go get it.

I tell my careers kids that you need to choose a job because you love it, not for the money. I need to follow my own advice. There's a balance that must be struck between doing what I love and remembering I have a mortgage, student loans, and car payments. Somewhere between the two is my destiny. Even though I believe my destiny was to be a child of God and serve him no matter the cost, I do know my life is still a journey and somewhere along the way, I hit the speed bump.

So, it's time to get moving. I've got six months to start living my life all over again. Tomorrow is a great start toward achieving that. Time to move as I say...ever forward.

That's my confession. What's yours?

Go Cowboys! Great game, but too many mistakes!!!

God bless you with great days.

TFR

If I Can Make It Til December

2007-11-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

With regards to Merle Haggard, I think teachers came up with that saying. Here we are, right on the edge of December and Christmas break seems a long way off.

As I walked back into school this morning still reeling from having to leave the warmth and safety of the home I took refuge in during Thanksgiving break, it was freezing. It seems someone forgot that, oh...we were back in school again today! Instead of leaving the heat on low during the holiday the district shut it all off, then didn't get it fired up in time for us to return. It was a lovely 55 degrees in my classroom when I hit the door, suitable for hanging dressed meats and/or dead body storage.

All this did was make me want to run back to my truck and get the hell out of Dodge. I didn't miss work one iota while on sabbatical and this reinforced my feelings. I've got a couple of friends that got out of teaching last year and the other day I asked them if they missed it. Both of them gave me an emphatic "NO!" One told me you'd think after being in the classroom for 20 years you would miss something about it, but he doesn't at all. The other said she's happy tutoring from time to time but doesn't miss all the crap that was being dog-piled on her by an increasingly apathetic system that cares more about test scores than real classroom performance.

I'm hanging in with the hopes I can become an administrator after last summer's demoralizing 0-for-7 interview debacle, losing out to some people who we should just say should never be running a school. But I'm not bitter. God just had other plans for me at the time. I'm hoping he's ready for me to move into administration. I want to make a difference, not only in the lives of students, but in teachers' and staff members' as well. I am not a yes man, so that probably doesn't get me any brownie points. I believe in being firm and doing my job and letting that stand as my barometer of worthiness for promotion.

This spring semester will be my swan song. I have no plans to return to teaching for another year. I will place all my eggs in the administrative basket and if that doesn't work out, it's time for me to go. My neighbor at school has heard me say this over and over again, but I think she knows I'm finally at the end of my rope and it's do or die time.

After 6 years, and what I hope has been a fruitful experience for my kids, and a total of 15 years working in the system, I will walk away in June if I'm unable to promote. I don't have the patience to stick around and try year after year, like some have done. There has to be something else out there for me to do. I just have to let God light the path. I pray I'll get a crack at being an assistant principal next year, but I also wouldn't mind a fresh start in a brand new arena doing something totally opposite what I've done for so long.

So, if I can make 'til December, I'll have a chance to rest and gather my thoughts and get the energy to face what looks to be my final semester as a teacher. Right now I'm fighting respiratory crud and a return visit from H-pylori (a bacterial infection in the stomach caused by stress) that almost put me in the hospital last year. So, I can barely think about going to work right now as my head, chest, and stomach are wearing me out.

For now, I have to stay focused on the task at hand and that is teaching for another 18 and 1/2 days. I'll do my best to hang in there. My colleagues are all worn out and tired and need some rest. Too many of us are dealing with health issues which no doubt is brought on by the stress of our jobs, but at least we're not in Iraq, or working a job where we face our own mortality every day, so when you put it into the proper perspective, it's not that bad. But as a friend once said, "Misery is relative." So it is...and so it goes.

That's my lengthy confession. What's yours?

TFR

Bama's "9-11" and Other Picture Postcards

2007-11-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

I've got to comment on perhaps one of THE dumbest things ever to come out of a head coach's mouth. If you're a big football fan, like I am, you follow teams, players, and coaches. Alabama's head loser, Nick Saban, has done it again. He's proven he has zero loyalty to any team he coaches, but now he's demonstrated just how intelligent he really is. By comparing his team's latest loss to 9-11 and Pearl Harbor, Saban has shown the world what a scholarly man truly looks like. Come on, it's only a game. Two towers didn't fall on your team and nobody died. Give me a break. I love how the Bama athletic department has begun to spin his comments to make Saban look less stupid, but the damage is done. Yes, Alabama, you hired him and you deserve him. Good luck.

Now, on to bigger, more important things. Thankgiving is finally here. For the first time in my life, I really don't want turkey. Last year, it made me sick and now I'm just to the point where I don't even want to look at it. So, I guess tomorrow, while watching the Boys, I'll be eating ham.

Page three: Christmas shopping. As Steven Rigney so eloquently observed in his comment to my seasonal Wal-Mart rant, Christmas has become a "season" rather than a holiday. I don't understand the whole "Black Friday" thing and don't care to, either. It befuddles me when I think of housewives fighting over that last Transforming-Roboto-Gigacrap that their kid just has to have only find it buried deep in the quagmire that is the toy-box a couple of months later. By the way, these same shoppers willing to commit assault and battery in the name of Mattel are the same people manning the tables at local church bazaars. The name of Mattel vs. the name of the Lord. Hmmm.

And finally, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Think of things you are thankful for. In the span of two years, my wife had a stroke, daughter survived a coma, both kids were involved in serious car accidents, and a myriad health issues have bombarded my entire family. I've had to settle down and really look at what God is trying to tell me. Through all these crises, we are all still alive. We have a few dings, but essentially we are intact.

I'll leave you with this thought to ponder--what if in the midst of all our accidents and tragedies and crises, we were spared even greater pain? What if, just what if, we could turn the lights on and see, like an oncoming middle linebacker, Satan's demon was nailed by an angel right as it about to bring down a crushing blow? Instead of feeling the full weight of that hit, we were merely grazed, leaving us with lesser catastrophe than the larger one that would have devastated us to our core. Maybe that's why Nick Saban's comments are so incredibly mindless to me. Count your blessings, like being a coach for a major college team and getting paid huge amounts of money and living in the lap of luxury while others starve or work two and three jobs to give their kids a Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. Be happy for the dings and scrapes because they could've been worse. Remember we live in the greatest nation in the world and have a few choices--like whether or not to watch Alabama play another game.

God bless you all on this Thanksgiving holiday. May your bellies be full, but more importantly, may your hearts be happy.

TFR

What's On Your Playlist?

2007-11-18T19:02:00.000-08:00

I have an i-Pod. I'm not always sold on the whole Apple hype thing, but I do like my 2 gigger. It would be even better if it had an FM tuner and I'm trying to figure out why Apple refuses to add one to their i-Pods.

I've got close to 500 songs on my playlist. It's hard to listen to that many songs and I can't imagine having an MP3 with more storage space and 1,000+ song capacity. Are there that many songs in existence? I guess so.

Here's a sampling of my playlist, boring as it may be. You'll find I'm a 80's man, but I do like a lot of contemporary groups, but I can't stand rap.

Alanis Morrisette's Greatest Hits
Sheryl Crow's Greatest Hits
Eye of the Tiger--Survivor
I Love Rock n Roll--Joan Jett
Heartbreaker/Hit Me With Your Best Shot--Pat Benatar
Gonna Fly Now--Rocky soundtrack
Coming in the Air Tonight--Phil Collins
Heat of the Moment--Asia
Africa/Rosanna--Toto
I Want You to Want Me--Cheap Trick
Friends in Low Places--Garth Brooks
Who's Your Daddy?--Toby Keith
Back in Black/Thunderstruck--AC/DC
Detroit Rock City--Kiss
Clocks/Yellow--Coldplay
Don't Stop Believin'--Journey
After Midnight--Eric Clapton
It Keeps You Runnin'--Bob Seger
Ride Like the Wind--Christopher Cross
Heart of Rock n Roll/I Want a New Drug/Power of Love--Huey Lewis and the News
All Star/Walkin' on the Sun--Smashmouth
Wizards in Winter--Trans-Siberian Orchestra

and, of course...The Essential Dean Martin (30 hits)

I'm 43 and getting old, but I still like to rock. There's nothing like music to get you going on a long run on a cold day.

Let me know if you listen to music while you workout and if you do, what's on your playlist?

Take it easy and enjoy the ride!

TFR

Cowboys Rant

2007-11-18T18:39:00.000-08:00

I've been a Dallas Cowboys fan for as long as I can remember. This year's team is good and they sure can give you fits, which makes them your typical Dallas bunch. However, I've got to make a couple of comments about some flaws I'm seeing on the field.

I love Roy Williams. Even when he was with the Sooners, I liked him and I can't stand OU. He's a great "hitter" and he definitely comes to play every Sunday. Sure, he can paste a lick on a receiver that will leave him spinning until next Sunday, but, like cheap latex paint, he provides lousy coverage. In fact, he may just be the worst pass defender in the whole Cowboys' secondary. All you have to do is remember Santana Moss' two catches for TD's on a Monday night a couple of years ago, or Jeremy Shockey toasting Williams for several big plays last season and you know why I think Roy is bad. Like I said, I love him as long as he doesn't have to cover anyone.

And what's up with the Dallas special teams unit, especially kick and punt return? They are horrible. That might just be the one glaring chink in the silver and blue armor this season. Today against the Skins is a classic illustration of what I'm talking about. The Redskins regularly began most of their series beyond their own 30 after the Cowboys allowed them to run right through the first wave of tacklers. Please fix this before Green Bay.

Lastly, the Boys have got to cut out those mind-numbingly stupid penalties. Like my high school coach used to scream when we would false start, "You know the snap count, idiot, they don't!!!" I realize there's 65,000 ranting fans in Texas Stadium, but come on--hold your water, for crying out loud! Wade Phillips even went so far as to make the team sign a pledge to stop the insanity of drive-killing, or extending, penalties. I think if he levies some hefty fines these guys might get the message he means business. Is it too much to ask for a little discipline from grown-ups making ungodly sums of money as professionals to make fewer mistakes? I don't think so.

Bonus: Could somebody please tell Jerry Jones to get his chemically-peeled rear end back upstairs where he belongs with the champers and shrimp cocktail? I mean look at him. I think he's been dead for three years. He looks like "Weekend at Jerry's." What happened to leathery tough head coaches that would tell the owner, "Your place is in the stands and mine is down here." Yep, and never the 'twain shall meet.

That's my Cowboys rant for the day. See you Thanksgiving.

TFR

Elvis is Dead and My Achilles Hurts

2007-11-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

I've been increasing my running mileage over the last few weeks and now I'm paying for it. My left achilles is tender and I walk like John Wayne wearing a barbed-wire thong.

I guess my age is catching up to me. At 43 and being a fat runner, I'm slowly wearing down. I'm still battling my weight and doing my best to stay in shape. After a hard run today on the fake road in my local gym, I hopped on the scale at 244. That sucks! As hard as I workout I feel like I should be getting lighter. I do lift weights, but I don't believe I've put on that much muscle.

Maybe I need to live with the fact I'll always be The Fat Runner and quit worrying about being some slim-jim dude I ain't never gonna be. My students still think I'm the bomb when they see me out running and some of my male student-athletes said they wish they had my calves. Right now, I'd rather give them my achilles.

For now, I'll keep running and hoping my legs will last me through another year. I've heard of runners taking off three to six weeks just to rest, but I'm afraid if I do that I'll look like a balloon floating through Albuquerque. I guess I could dial it down a notch and lower my intensity a bit. With the holidays fast approaching (see my last blog entry) I want to keep moving and burning calories so I can at least feel good eating all that junk on Thanksgiving.

I'll keep moving forward and not worry too much about all the other stuff. Like the saying goes, "The rest is just details."

That's my confession. What's yours?

God bless you!

TFR

Merry Hallogiving

2007-11-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

Have you been in Wal-Mart lately? If you're anything like me, you've been there in the last hour. What's up with Christmas decorations and holiday music the day after Halloween? I mean, the peanut butter kisses had no sooner gone on clearance when the inflatable Santa rising from the inflatable chimney is blaring "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow," in the Lawn and Garden department.

It's like Turkey Day doesn't matter anymore. The biggest feasting day of the year is losing its punch. And Wal-Mart isn't the only one making us long for the glitter of Easter in December, there's the house down the street that has icicle lights twinkling beginning LAST WEEK! I'm no Bah Humbug, but I am a traditionalist. Silly me. I like my Santa to show up sometime in the 12th month of the year.

It just seems like all these department stores are pushing the holiday envelope earlier every year. Why wait until Christmas to watch Ralphie shoot his eye out? Why look for the white stuff to celebrate little Kevin's loneliness in his neighborhood dwelling while his parents are freaking in France? Isn't March a better time for fruit cake anyway?

From what I heard the other day, retailers are hitting the panic button in light of all the mortgage crashes and lay-offs that are sure to come before the end of the year. So, let's run those credit card bills up as the sales hit the floor in early November so we can file bankruptcy as we usher in another ball-dropping with the ageless teenager on ABC.

At the risk of sounding like Dennis Miller on crack, I just think Christmas has become as routine as a hot date with your wife of 47 years. But, as a wise man once said, the spirit of Christmas is in your heart, not Bentonville, or the mall, or even up on my neighbor's way-too-early-decorated house. I guess I just needed to rant about something tonight and this was it.

At least I'm not the poor schmoe cashier in weed and feed listening to Bing Crosby ad nauseum when it's 75 degrees outside. It could be worse. It could be Texas Tech's fight song.

That's my rant, er...confession. What's yours?

God bless you and Merry Week Before Turkey Day!!!

TFR

Is Running Really Safe?

2007-11-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

If you keep up with running news, today was a sad and shocking day in the world of our sport. Ryan Shay, a U.S. Olympic marathon hopeful, died while running in the trials today. This comes on the heels of runners going down in the heat of the Chicago Marathon, with one man dying. Also, former Boston Marathon winner and Nike coach Alberto Salazar fell victim to a heart attack while trotting to the track to begin working out his team. Fortunately for Mr. Salazar he survived.

This all got me to thinking--is running really safe? I mean, you have to wonder when you hear about world-class athletes dropping dead during a run. By no means am I an elite runner, but I do run. I weigh 241 pounds and lift weights 3 times a week. I consider myself in fairly decent shape, but is my click ticking?

So many of these runners that have died while engaging in their sport have been found to have some sort of heart defect or genetic predisposition to heart disease. Irregular heart rhythms run in my family on my mom's side. I, too, have had irregular heart beats from time to time, which I have read is fairly common. Still, maybe it is time for me to have a checkup.

I'm not a big fan of going to the doctor. Last year, I experienced a bacterial stomach infection that had to drive me to the floor before I finally acquiesced and with to the emergency room. So when I read about runners like Shay and Salazar I'm thinking now is the time to do a little preventive medicine.

With my family's propensity for hospital visits (my youngest is back in the hospital right now as I type this), I don't want to be careless and be the latest casualty.

I'd like to know what you all think. I just wish we had more people reading my blog because I'd love to open this for discussion. If you run and are reading this, would you tell me what you think about my question?

I pray Ryan Shay's death isn't connected to anything wrongful. Runner's World magazine stated, "within hours of Shay's death the rumors were already swirling." That aside, it's just tragic a young man of 28, and a newlywed, lost his life.

I want to be healthy and run for many years to come. I'd like to be in my 60's, like my friend Ted, and still have the legs to run and kick my grandchildren's butts.

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you.

God bless you with great running!

TFR

The Fat Runner, The Prequel

2007-10-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Back before I became The Fat Runner, I was just FAT. In the spring of 1997, I weighed 305 lbs. I was a heart attack looking for a place to happen. An EKG was definitely in my future.

For the majority of my life I've been overweight. I was always the fat kid that everybody made fun of in school. I got to be in the school Christmas play every year, not as a elf or talking reindeer, but as Santa. I guess I should be proud of that since I had more speaking lines than anyone else. To this day the sight of that red suit and white beard sends chills up my spine.

Still, I played sports and amazed everyone at my agility and speed. For a big kid I ran faster than many smaller players on the team. I played baseball, football, and put the shot in track. I was fat, but a good athlete. However, I had very little self-esteem and always knew I was the "fat boy" and would probably never be the star athlete, or Prince Charming.

Fast forward to 1997. My wife and I bought bicycles for ourselves and our two young daughters. We sat out on a short ride from our apartment to a park about two miles away. After a mile I could barely pedal. I was so out of breath I thought I was going to croak. It was horrible. It made me so angry that I had let myself get to this point. So, that day began a quest for me to change my lifestyle. My normal day at work consisted of drinking 2-3 42 oz cokes, eating donuts at breakfast, snacking on junk, and eating big, fatty burgers for lunch. Then, I'd go home and drink more pop, eat a big supper, and snack all night. This was a recipe for disaster.

In March '97, I started riding my bike each day, going a little farther every time I rode. I broke three bikes in less than four months from my weight. I decided to invest in a better machine so I went to our local bike shop and bought a Specialized mountain bike for around $200. It was the best thing I've ever purchased. I attached an odometer to keep track of my mileage and off I went.

By late summer that same year, I was riding over 75 miles a week and had lost nearly 45 pounds. That August, I started a new job at my same school and came in for registration. I rode my bike the five miles to my school. When I walked in, no one could believe their eyes. I weighed 250. I was slowly transforming the old me. I made it a point to ride to work as often as I could and by the beginning of 1998 I had lost 100 lbs. My best friend made fun of me, saying all I needed was a number tattooed to my forearm and I'd look like a Holocaust survivor. I had fudged on a lot of my favorite foods and even passed on foods that were good for me in order to lose the weight. I wouldn't advise anyone to try this. I lost of a lot of muscle and had to work hard to reclaim it.

Losing 100 pounds is a quite a feat. It makes you rethink your whole lifestyle and you have to make sacrifices in order to keep the weight off. It also makes you look at yourself in a new way. For example, I know what anorexics go through now, because even after I lost all that weight I still saw myself as fat. I would eat a meal and then feel guilty. I'd run to a scale to see if I gained anything back. After eating I always felt the urge to jump on my bike and ride 10-15 miles to burn off the calories I had just consumed. It's an awful feeling.

What turned me around is running. In 1999, my best friend, a police officer and avid runner, asked me to join him at a local park for a run. At first I was a little reticent to try it, but he insisted and I said yes. I didn't even own a decent pair of running shoes but I figured it was worth a shot. We stretched and got started. Now, I didn't think I would make a full mile without walking some, but as we ran, we talked and that was enough of a distraction I didn't notice the mileage. After several laps around we stopped. My buddy hit his watch and said, "Do you know how far we ran?" Of course, I didn't. We had done 5 miles in under 40 minutes. I could hardly believe it. "Really!" I exclaimed. 5 miles? 5 miles! It was my first run and I was ecstatic.

I went straight to the mall the next day and bought a brand-new pair of Adidas running shoes, with cushioned soles. I met my best friend 5 days a week and we ran anywhere from 3-5 miles at a time. I still rode my bike and got him to join me doing that, but I was hooked on running.

Since then, I've participated in a marathon and completed a 50-mile run/walk for diabetes. I'm not much of a 5k runner nor do I get into all the competitive runs in our area, but I love to run. I weigh 240 and lift weights 3 times a week to keep toned. I've still got a gut. Some guys have a six-pack. I have a keg and don't mind. That's why they invented spandex performance wear to hold all my jiggly in.

If you're reading my blog, my goal is to inspire those who may be thinking of running, or may already be running and don't think you're all that great an athlete. Speaking as a 43-year old husband, father of two, and school teacher, I'm not a phenomenal athlete and won't be setting any land speed records this year, but I'll be out there running and loving it. I'm a fat guy, The Fat Runner. I'm proud of that title. I can outrun my daughters and many of my students.

No, I'm still not the star athlete, but I did get to be Prince Charming. At least that's what my wife says. I'm a fat knight in shining Nike's and I got the girl. So, dreams can come true-with the mantra I developed while trying to shed all that weight. CDHP is the acronym I still live by.

Commitment
Dedication
Hardwork
Perseverance

I would puff that out anytime I felt like quitting. I still do when I get tired and need to go that extra mile.

So, hang in there and realize someone in Texas knows what you're going through. Keep running and ever forward!

That's my confession--what's yours?

God bless you!!!

TFR

What the Heck!

2007-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've read your comments and now I'm vahklempt (sp). Steven, I hear you. I guess I've just been trying to figure out if my blogging has been enlightening or just a waste of time. I appreciate all the kind responses I've received from you all. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

What the heck, I guess I'll keep blogging for a while and see where it leads me. Maybe you all could help me do a better job by sending me your ideas.

I do have something I'd like to discuss today. A few blogs back I mentioned I might have some news to share with you. No, I'm not pregnant. Anyway, you all know my youngest daughter is a type-1 diabetic. If you read my bio, you also know we did a 50-mile run/walk last year in November. This year, in conjunction with one of our local fitness clubs and the assistance of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, I will be running/walking on a treadmill for 12 straight hours to raise funds for diabetic research. This event will take place the first Saturday in January. My fitness club is allowing us to use machines for $1 per minute for anyone that would like to sign in and participate. Along with corporate sponsorship, we feel we could raise over $10,000 by doing this.

How can you help? I'd like to challenge anyone reading to get out on that January 5 day and raise money for someone you know that has diabetes. There are over 15 million diagnosed diabetics in the U.S. and the numbers keep climbing. In Amarillo alone, 2 new diabetics are diagnosed per day. According to the JDRF, our local American Diabetes chapter, and the City of Amarillo Health Department we have 15,000 diabetics in the Amarillo metro area (population 197,000). That percentage closely mirrors state and national statistics. See www.jdrf.org for more information.

With numbers like these, chances are you or someone you know has diabetes. With the recent loss of my father, a diabetic of over 40 years and whose affliction contributed to his early death, I'm more determined than ever to find a cure for this rapidly growing and disease. Diabetes research is the least funded of all the major diseases. Therefore, I'm asking you to help out by running with me on that day. Start a run in your city. Go to people you know and tell them about this crazy guy in Amarillo, Texas that is running 12 hours on January 5 to put an end to diabetes. Tell them about the miracle I witnessed when my daughter awoke from a coma to become a type-1 diabetic and how this kid and her dad are fighting to cure her and others.

I hope you'll join me as we battle to wipe out diabetes forever. A cure is closer than we think. Researchers are getting closer and closer to finding the cure. Please help us make this a reality.

Once again, thanks for all your encouragement and God bless you all.

Keep in touch and let me know what's up and how my blogs are doing.

The Fat Runner

I Give Up

2007-10-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

After blogging for a couple of months and getting little response, I think it's time to pack it up. My blogging has become an exercise in futility since I only have three regular respondents.

I enjoy sharing my thoughts, but it's like having a high-paying job with lots of benefits. If there's no one to share it with, then it's all for nothing.

Therefore, I must re-examine my blogging to see if I can direct my time toward other efforts. It's not like I spend an enormous amount of time doing this, but it's still time better spent on other ventures.

Good luck to those of you who have sent me comments on my blogs. Perhaps at some other time, I'll resume this if I see some sort of benefit to doing it.

God bless you all and take care.

The Fat Runner

There's Always Tomorrow

2007-10-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

I accidentally hit enter and all I posted was a title. What a great way to start a blog.

There's always tomorrow. At least that's what I thought two years ago. In the span of those two years, I've witnessed my wife's stroke, youngest daughter's coma and subsequent awakening, and both my kids sustaining serious car accidents. If I were a superstitious man, I'd say I'm jinxed.

You would think that after all this I'd live more for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. God keeps giving me these examples of how fragile my life is and I keep blowing him off.

Last week, my father was diagnosed with liver cancer that had metastasized into the lymph nodes in his neck. He wasn't given much of a chance for survival, even with chemo. He wanted to fight the illness and decided to take the treatments no matter the cost.

Three days after getting out of the hospital he was home and feeling a little better. He had taken his first round of chemotherapy. My wife went by to see him and reported he was looking much better. She said she kissed him good-bye and told him and my mom I'd be coming over the next day. That was my "tomorrow."

That night, I decided to hop into the shower, clean up, and then go back and finish watching the baseball game. While in the shower my sister called, screaming my dad wasn't breathing and the paramedics were there working on him. I quickly began getting dressed to meet the ambulance at the hospital, just a mile away. By the time we were down the street my sister called again, saying my dad was dead. Tomorrow wouldn't come.

Junior, as he is known, was really my stepfather. He married my mom 37 years ago. I was raised by someone else in our family as my mom pursued a life with him. They had my sister in 1971 and were living in a nearby city. We moved away from them a few years later. Thus began a strange and distant relationship with my real mom, stepfather, and little sister.

I grew up not knowing how to feel about him. I never fully understood how to take anything he said to me. At times, I feared him and at other times, I hated him. He had never done anything to me, but I just didn't embrace him.

It took me many years to finally understand my stepfather. I guess it was the day he introduced me to some of his co-workers as his "son" that I began to see him in a different light.

When my girls were born he treated them like gold. He always loved them and spoiled them. They were his granddaughters and he'd tell you so. They loved him very much.

Now, after years of trying to get to know him, I realized I still don't. It came to me as my mom, sister, and I were trying to pick a casket and arrange his funeral. As we were writing his obituary it struck me how little I actually know about the man.

I sat with him in the den on countless occasions, searching for something to talk about, some common ground, but we were so different. I was an athlete and avid sports fan and he's a fisherman and musician. There were often times we sat in silence and just stared at the TV.

It all came crashing on me when I ran into their house after a 10-mile, 80 mph trek across town to be there after that fateful phone call. There he was, on the floor, his body covered with a blanket. The breathing tube was still protruding from his mouth. It was more than I could bare. I wanted that tube out and I wanted it out right then. I bowed down next to him and said a quick prayer. Tomorrow had come, but it was still today.

Tomorrow. What a word. It means we anticipated something and it's arrogant for us to think that way. We have no guarantees in life. Certainly not for tomorrow, or in the next hour, or even 15 minutes.

Tomorrow, we will bury my dad. I wish I had a thousand tomorrows but I only have right now. I want my kids to know who I am. I hope I have some tomorrows to share with my grandchildren. I want them to know who I am and how much I love them. My grandchildren are just a concept but I already love them and have visions for their futures. But there I go again. That's one big tomorrow. I have the here and now and I better get busy letting people know how much I love them. I really better listen to what God is saying. He's given me so many lessons, but I always take the Scarlett O'Hara way out.

"Tomorrow's another day." Maybe so, but today's not over. It's 14 minutes until tomorrow so I better get busy telling my kids I love them. I think I'll do just that.

That's my BIG confession for TODAY! What's yours?

God bless you!!!

TFR

There's Always Tomorrow

2007-10-18T21:23:00.001-07:00

Real Men

2007-10-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

Where have they gone? Is the cut of a John Wayne just a memory, or does such a man actually exist in today's feel-good-at-all-costs world?

What are we doing to our boys that makes them such wimps? I'm around kids all day long and I have girls with more intestinal fortitude than some of my boys. It's scary. Our society is turning boys into whiney, little wonders. It makes me worry about what our country will look like in 20 years when these "young men" grow up, if they grow up.

I do teach some wonderful kids and many I'd be proud to raise, but when you encounter such utter frailty in boys on a regular basis it begs you to wonder why.

My own theory is that today's parents are the ones that got sand kicked in their faces when they were in elementary school. These guys were raised in a world that is increasingly self-serving; therefore, they spend more time thinking about themselves than others and have never said no to their children. This breed of parent has sheltered their boys to the point where Cowboys and Indians is not something you play, but just a bunch of characters in a history book.

As a child, I played games like War, Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, and, God forbid, Dodge Ball. We kept score and there were winners and losers. If anyone got knocked down, we didn't cry, we didn't run to our counselor, we just dusted ourselves off and got back into game.

Arguments were settled after school, with our fists, and they didn't last long. We soon forgot the genesis of the dispute and were quickly friends again. We played with "action figures," not cell phones. A scrape was considered a badge of honor, not a reason to escape P.E.

Oh, and we played baseball all summer long, all day long. We learned to hit a curveball by actually swinging at a "real" ball, not one on an X-Box. Only the best nine, the best 11, or the best five were allowed into the game. If you wanted to play you had to work to win your position. It wasn't given to you because of a rule made by parent that didn't get to play, like in today's ultra-sophisticated metro-world.

In short, we were tough and scrappy, even the least of us, which sometimes I was. My mom didn't bail me out of every rough situation I got myself into. She let me learn from my mistakes, which were many. I got burned, I bled, but I didn't quit.

Where have the future real men gone? Thanks to an America that's afraid of its own shadow our boys can't use their finger as a gun. They can't run around shouting "bang-bang" in school or else it'll be locked down and CNN will carry the story.

I'm a parent that has raised his girls to be tough and fend for themselves because they are entering a world that doesn't care about their lame excuses. I'm not Mr. Perfect, but I pray for a real man for each of my girls to marry. Not some wimp that will hide under the bed at every spooky noise or run home to mommy when things don't work out. I want a real man as my son-in-law and the father of my grandchildren.

If you're reading this and you have a son, let him experience the fun of sliding into a base and getting a strawberry. Let that sucker sting and don't automatically try to make it all better. Let your son dream he's the cop that takes down the bad guy. Raise your son to embrace his fears instead of running from them and to know that anger is a normal part of being a man when used for the right purpose.

We need our young boys to grow into strong young men and not cry every time things don't go their way.

Okay Adrienne, there's my rant for the day. I confess, I can't stand cry-babies, whether they are middle schoolers or adults. Grow up, do your job, and quit whining. God didn't make us to be sissies. He made me to be a man and to act like one.

That's my confession...what's yours?

TFR

A Nice "Pat" on the Rear

2007-10-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should say "kick in the rear." My Cowboys looked pretty bad near the end of the game today. The Patriots are clearly a superior club, even without audio-visual assistance. Top spy Bill Belichek pretty much had the Boys number.

I guess that's the wisdom that comes from winning three Super Bowls. Even when your team falls behind, there's no need to panic. Mr. GQ,Tom Brady, looked all of his reputation as a man who will cut your heart out.

Needless to say, there were a lot of disappointed Dallas fans in my house this evening, but we'll get over it. Now that this game is out of the way, Dallas can get on with winning the NFC East. Looks like the AFC will have another Super Bowl winner again.

On to other things. My buddy Jason has lost 51 pounds and I'm really proud of him. Having lost 100 pounds before myself, I know this is no easy task and I give him all the props. Hang in there, Dude. It's a tough battle but you'll be glad you fought it. The real challenge is coming in the form of three significant holidays all involving candies, cakes, and goodies. Stay the course and you'll be fine.

My good friend Adrienne wants to know where my rants have gone, well...all I can say is two words...Al Gore. I could rant all night about that guy, but that might waste the precious energy he's so desperately trying to conserve. After all, he did invent global warming.

Now for the lighter side. We are around 11 weeks from Christmas and in the 8th week of school. Time is moving fast and I'm glad. Before long it'll be cold and Thanksgiving will be here. And then, one of my favorite times of year will be here--Bowl Season!

To all my half-dozen, or so, faithful readers, I bid you a great week. Hang in there and give me shout out now and then.

God bless you!!!

TFR

H.R. Runnin' Stuff

2007-10-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

Way back when I first began blogging, I wrote about reviewing running gear. Since I'm a fat runner, but getting skinnier, I try to buy running shoes and clothes that will hold up to my weight and body frame.

The other day, and because I'm training for another long, long run for diabetes, I went searching for some shoes that would carry me the long haul. Dean Karnazes, The Ultramarathon Man, designed a pair shoes specifically for the ultramarathoner, but they are well suited for someone like me, as well. Noticing our local bike and trail shop carried these bad boys, I trucked it over for a look-see.

The North Face Arnuva 50 Boa running shoes are a match made in Heaven for me. There's no conventional laces to fuss with. Rather, the laces are integrated and controlled by this really cool dial in the heel of the shoe. I tried these puppies on and was instantly hooked. With a $125 price tag I knew I'd have to save a little cash to get them, but I'm on my way back this week to grab them. They are light, but stable--a plus for someone over 200 lbs. I really dig the lacing system.

If you get a chance, go to The North Face web site and check them out. As soon as I get them on and start running on the treadmill, I'll give you more details. The store let me test drive them and they are sweet.

After last year's 50 mile run/walk for diabetes, I discovered performance wear. I've always been a t-shirt and jersey shorts wearer. I graduated into mesh shorts a few years ago, but it wasn't until training for my ultra-long run did I embrace performance shirts and shorts with moisture-wicking fibers. So, now I snatch up gear like that anytime I find them on sale. I scored three shirts and two pairs of shorts today for around $4 a piece. This was high-dollar stuff but with fall arriving, our local stores start clearancing summerwear out. Problem is, it was 90 degrees in Amarillo today so fall really isn't here. My gain!

I guess that's one of the things I like most about running...the clothes, shoes, and gear. It's fun to get dressed and hit the road. It gives me a sense of confidence and good self-esteem that I don't always find when I'm at work.

Let me know what shoes you wear and tell me about the gear you use when working out. As runners, we should pass along helpful information. If you have any advice regarding training for being on your feet for 12 hours, let me hear it. I'm heading that way so I need all the help I can get.

May God bless you with great running!

TFR

Rules for Living

2007-10-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

Howdy from Texas-land! I've been a little out of action the last few weeks. Life has been busy. My youngest daughter had another stint in the hospital with complications stemming from her diabetes and then my stepfather was diagnosed with liver cancer. Needless to say, it's been rather hectic in our world.

So, I'm trying to get myself back into the blogging game. I really miss the four or five faithful readers I've acquired along the way. I hope those numbers grow as I launch back into regular blogging again.

My good friend and colleague, Adrienne, asked me why I hadn't been blogging. She said she "missed my rants." Hmm. I guess I'm back to resume my ranting, Adrienne. I'll try not to go on aimlessly, but give everyone food for thought and hopefully encourage discussion.

Soon, I will have an announcement about some things we are doing to raise money for diabetes research, but I'll save that once all the plans have been finalized.

Tonight, and after some thought and reflection, I figured I'd write something good since this is my first blog in weeks. I mean, I don't just want to come out and write some mindless dribble. This needs to be the product of time spent pensively pouring over my existence.

If you're a football fan, and if you caught my Dallas Cowboys barely escaping with their lives in Buffalo last Monday night, perhaps you watched the pre-game show. Bill Parcells, former Cowboys head coach, revealed his 11 Commandments for being an effective quarterback in the NFL. This got me to thinking.

I have this mantra I often say to my students as they leave my room, "The world is your oyster, go cultivate the pearl." I started examining who I am and what I stand for. When you teach careers to a bunch of 8th graders, sometimes the kids want to know what you think. Sometimes they surprise me when they ask for a nugget of wisdom that will help them as they pursue their dreams. Tonight, I offer you MY 11 Commandments, or rules, for living. Here goes...

1. To your own self be true. Honesty, integrity, courage--these qualities make the man.

2. Money isn't anything. Sure, we all need money to survive...just don't worship it.

3. Love God with all your heart and everything will fall into place.

4. Marry for love, not stuff. Relationships are about the heart, not the wallet.

5. Never, ever stop learning. Always be a student.

6. Life is a journey--enjoy the ride, even if it gets rough. It's the rough that makes you appreciate the smooth.

7. Do your job, follow instructions. Whether you're a son, daughter, student, spouse, employee, parent--just do your job and you'll do fine.

8. Be a crisis manager, not a drama queen. The world has more than enough drama queens and too few real leaders.

9. Find a mentor/be a mentor. There's always someone out there that knows more than you and always someone you can help.

10. Serve your community. Be a good citizen and take care of those around you. Leave the world a better place.

11. Always remember, when no one else is watching...God is. Live a life above reproach.

There they are, my 11 Commandments. I'm no Bill Parcells. I'm just a husband, dad, teacher, son, brother, student, friend, and many other things. I've lived 43 years, which isn't long compared to others or the universe, but I've been burned by life. I've enjoyed the greatest victories and lowest defeats. I've got a nice big handstamp on the roller coaster of life.

I just thought I'd share this with you. Hope it helps. Let me know what you think.

That's my confession...what's yours?

My God bless you with an abundant life.

TFR

Honk If You're Stupid!

2007-09-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

My buddy Jason has been battling his weight for some time now. I'm proud of his progress in the gym and tonight he gave me some food for thought. Better yet--ammo for my next blog.

Jason decided to go for a run the other day while waiting for some car repairs at a local tire store. The location he embarked from is in a rather busy section of our city. Traffic can be tough over there, as I can well attest from my own running experiences in that area.

It's great just hearing Jason set out to run, knowing he's been working hard to lose weight. He reminds me a lot of my own struggle to get below 300 pounds and then gingerly attempting to run. Did you catch that play on words, Jason--"gingerly?" Anyway, here's a guy who has taken the leap and is really making an effort to change his lifestyle.

Tonight, at our church small group, Jason told me that during his run he was confronted by a carload of rocket scientists, honking their horn and screaming at him. I've been there, done that and it's infuriating.

How many of us have dealt with some gem of the gene pool that thinks they need to make a spectacle of themselves at the expense of a runner? Let's see...you're in a car, maybe smoking a cigarette, and we're out there running. Hmmm...Jack LaLanne you ain't. You aren't Stephen Hawking, either. In fact, people that act like this make Ernest T. Bass look like a Rhodes Scholar.

I have a little advice for Jason and anyone else that might be out there running and putting up with the Small Brain Club. I know it's hard to let stuff like that slide because I want to smack someone like that across their smart mouths, but you just can't. This may be our only chance to show Christ to this person. There is a way to handle this where everyone wins. If you ever get your chance to confront someone, do it in a Christ-like manner, demonstrating to them why we run and why it's wrong for someone to do this to us.

Runners are a fraternity. We share a common bond when we're out there on the road. As drivers, we're a little more mindful when we see someone running than we would be otherwise. In short, we get it. Maybe what we need to do is help others get it too.

All we can do is control our own actions. But we can make everyone else aware of how vulnerable we feel when it's just us against the environment. All we have a is a pair of running shoes, not a 2000 lb. loaded weapon.

If you're reading my blog and you're not a runner, please watch out for us. We're out there running because we love it, we want to do it, and it will keep us healthy. Don't punish us for wanting a better life. We respect you. Please respect us.

May God bless you with a safe road ahead.

Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Running and Barbecue

2007-09-15T21:08:00.001-07:00

Do those two things go together? When you live in the Texas Panhandle you bet they do! What a weird topic for discussion, but I have to tell you, I always feel a hundred pounds heavier and another step slower after chowing on BBQ.

I wonder if someone ever thought of having a 5k run and barbecue cook-off at the same event? Seems counterproductive, doesn't it? I might just have to do that.

For an extrovert, I'm pretty careful about revealing my life and thoughts to very many people. But here I am, on the WWW, sharing things I never thought I'd say. I am an extremely outspoken person, just ask me and I'll tell you what I think. But when it comes to my deep, personal feelings I don't often share such things aloud.

Most of the time, I feel pretty guilty when I slam a big meal. If you read my profile, you'll see I used to weigh over 300 lbs. When I got down to just under 200, I began to understand what anorexics experience. Looking in the mirror I still saw the same fat dude I faced every day. Nothing had changed. It was as if I couldn't see myself thin.

This went on for months and every time I ate I felt guilty. I deprived myself of the foods I loved, like BBQ and pizza. To this day, I still can't bring myself to eat more than a bite of my favorite pizza. Even then, the first thing I think of is getting out the door and working it off.

I think running and barbecue and pizza can all co-exist. It's taken me a long time to reach that accord with myself. I know I will never be this rail thin, exquisitely cut athlete, but I still strive to look and feel the best I can as I approach my mid-40's.

For a guy who tipped the scales at 315, I've come a long way. I had barbecue tonight and I loved it. And for once, maybe I might even love myself for who I am.

I'm a heavy runner that fights the daily struggle to stay motivated to do the things I do. I want to run my 5k's and let the marathons take care of themselves.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll create the R-n-B 5k. Not rhythm and blues, but "Running and Barbecue."

The Meatball Marathon is still in the planning stages.

God bless you all with great running.

Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Race for the Cure

2007-09-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

After writing my most chilling blog yet (I still have goosebumps from the imagery), I thought I'd follow-up with something a little more positive.

I signed up to run The Race for the Cure here in Amarillo. As you know, I am adamant about diabetes research, but I lost my grandmother to cancer almost 20 years ago. I have numerous friends that have been affected by cancer in some form or fashion.

I figured it's worth running a 5k if it'll help with a cure for cancer. So, a few Saturdays from now, I'll get out there and run a blistering 10-minute per mile (hopefully better) 3.1 miles. I only hope no one's behind me because I want no one injured from the vapor trail. After all, this is a fun run.

Get out there and walk, run, crawl, or hop to champion a cause. It's a great way to raise money and get some exercise.

You can go to the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure web site to find an event near you.

Oh, and keep reading for upcoming news about my 8-hour nutfest on the treadmill to raise money and awareness for juvenile diabetes.

Please share my blog with others. I want to hear from you. Write me!

May God bless you with great running.

Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Educate and Stay Alert

2007-09-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's all over the net. What is it? It's the buzz about "The Perfect Day," as exposed by CNN talk-show host Glenn Beck. I must admit, I never heard of this until watching his show.

I am a conservative and watch Beck's program often. I am also a teacher, which makes me a researcher, by nature. I try not to jump to conclusions and do my best to investigate issues. As an educator, I was alarmed at what I learned from watching the Glenn Beck program.

"The Perfect Day," is a term that describes the time a mass terrorist attack is launched by Al-Queda in the U.S. The principal targets of this attack will be our children and our schools. As demonstrated in the Breslin, Russia attack last year, radicals will use any means necessary to further their cause, even killing innocent children.

I took it upon myself to do an internet search by Googling the phrase, "The Perfect Day." Many counterterrorism watchdog groups are calling for Americans to be on the alert, citing the discovery of evidence pointing to a possible wide-scale attack on schools in America. Such evidence includes stolen school radios, missing school buses in Houston, videos confiscated in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the list goes on and on.

Check it out for yourself by doing a search on the internet and see what you come up with. I don't care what political affiliation you claim, we cannot be lax when it comes to school safety. Even the slightest hint of such atrocities aimed at our children must be taken seriously. I, for one, am going to ask my principal if he has seen or heard any of the story on Glenn Beck and what are our plans at our school to prepare for such an event. I will also present this question to a school board member I know.

As citizens, parents, grandparents, teachers, we must not let this slide. This is a very personal issue as I have one child in high school, another in college, and my wife and I teach in a fairly large school district. It concerns me when I hear there is a real threat to our personal safety at work.

The goal of The Perfect Day, as explained by Bernard Kerik, former NYPD Commissioner and now security consultant, is to create chaos and mass hysteria. The result of this outrage would be the savage retaliation of Americans against Muslim-American citizens, including the bombing and desecration of mosques. The belief by terrorism-watching organizations is that radical Muslims, like Osama Bin Ladin, would use the images of these retaliatory acts as propaganda to further the cause of Al-Queda. Even Glenn Beck said he expected Americans to behave as "animals" in response to seeing our children mass-murdered nationwide.

My call to you is this, my friends: Preparation is not paranoia. There will be some, myself included, that will branded as paranoid nuts. But, can we really afford to not be ready in the event this does happen? To do that is to live as we did on September 10th. Because 24 hours later, our world changed forever. The next 9-11 is out there. It's waiting like a championship boxer for us to drop our hands. Only these guys have no mercy and hit below the belt.

Approach your local school administration and ask them the tough questions that need to be raised. Attend a school board meeting and get this issue on the agenda. Talk to local government officials and law enforcement about what plans they have to combat something like this. And above all, pray to God we never have to face such a tragedy as this.

With diligence, strength, and courage we can stop "The Perfect Day" before it ever happens. Every day should be a perfect day for our kids. Let's guarantee it stays that way.

God bless you all with safe lives.

Ever Forward!!!

The Fat Runner

Fat Running

2007-09-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

I recently saw a picture of myself taken at the Walk for Diabetes and all I could say was, "Whoa, I am fat!"

I'm sure people look at me and find it hard to believe I'm a runner. There are days when I can't believe it either. My weight has always been a struggle for me. At the beginning of 2007, largely due to a bacterial infection in my stomach, I dropped 10 pounds. 9 months later I've gained it back.

While I know I'm heavy, I still manage to run a sub 10-minute pace and log anywhere from 15-20 miles a week. So, I don't feel too badly about carrying around the extra weight. Besides, this wouldn't be "Confessions of a Fat Runner" if I got down to 160 lbs. and looked a beanpole.

I'm proud of my ability to run. I know where I've come from and I'm excited about where God is taking me next.

I'll keep laboring down the streets of Amarillo, content with each slow step I take and happy in the knowledge I'm in a select group of people who get out each day and pound the pavement because they want to do it.

Runners are weird bunch. We wear strange clothes, sometimes look like dorks when we run, and garner puzzled looks from people in casual conversations when the word gets out we LIKE running. But, there's nothing like the serenity and solitude of the sounds of your footsteps meeting asphalt and the shallow puffs of breath moving in and out of your lungs.

Running is just you against you and no one else and that's why I love doing it. It's like playing solitaire with a pair of Nikes, instead of Kings.

I confess--I'm a running junkie. And proud to say so. Maybe I'll lose some weight, or have some more pretzels while I'm typing this. I can always run them off , huh?

That's my confession--what's yours?

God bless you and ever forward!!!

TFR

Running for Diabetes

2007-09-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

With school off to a flying start, I've neglected one of my favorite new things to do--blog. With the weekend being here and the kickoff of the NFL season, I've spent most of the day being a guy and watching football.

Yesterday morning, my family and friends came together as a team to walk for diabetes. It was a beautiful morning here in Amarillo. We had rain overnight and the morning air was damp and cool. I would rather have been hugging my pillow at 9:00 am on a Saturday morning, but when you've got a wife and kid that have diabetes you become a crusader, of sorts.

I think I told you how I ran/walked/death-crawled 50 miles last year to raise money and awareness for diabetes. 3 miles seemed such a short distance to travel, but for the 1000+ walkers that showed for Saturday's walk, it was a giant step closer to ending this dreaded disease. My team, Melissa' Marvelous Miracles, raised $630. I'm sure the final tally for the walk will be in the thousands.

Today's blog centers around my hope that diabetes will be cured in the near future--tomorrow would be nice--and my plans to do all I can to bring that to reality.

The other day, while running at the gym, a staff member for our local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) asked me if I would be willing to run on the treadmill for a little bit if she could get the corporate sponsors to pay per mile. Little bit equals 8 hours. All I could say was, "When do we start?" In case you haven't noticed, I'm nuts. I'll do anything, anywhere, at anytime to cure my daughter. As such, I also have pitched an idea to the local JDRF director about me running/walking/bike running from Amarillo, TX to Washington, DC next summer. I'm waiting for her to approach the board with this for a response.

I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever had a true calling in life until now. I'm a teacher, but I don't feel a calling to education. Yes, I've been called to be a follower of Christ, but when I look at my life's work there just hasn't been the "calling" I hear so many others say they've experienced in life, like teaching or missionary work.

But now, with a daughter facing real life and death health issues as a type 1 diabetic, my calling is crystal clear. It came to me while running this afternoon in my fave running spot--Wolflin. Finding the cure for diabetes has got to be my passion. Nothing else matters but helping my daughter and wife overcome this. My stepfather has already lost two toes due to complications with his diabetes and I know dozens that are afflicted and struggling with similar issues.

Therefore, I will run to Washington, or New York, or Timbuktu for that matter if it brings about a speedy end to what over 14 million Americans face each and every day.

If I were to ask 100 people to raise their hands if they knew someone with diabetes, or they were afflicted, my guess is almost the whole group would have their hands in the air.

If you don't have it, someone you know does. There are over 20 million out there undiagnosed so they are all around you. It's a time bomb waiting to go off. In my daughter's case, it exploded one December day. The shrapnel left its scars on her body and in her mind.

So, I will keep running for diabetes as long and as far as necessary. I hope you will join us as we fight this battle. It's a battle we're going to win, for my daughter's sake and the sake of many of my students, parents, and family members.

Diabetes is one battle worth fighting and we WILL triumph. The stakes are high, the margins slim, and the payoff will be jubilant.

Take care and may God bless you.

Ever Forward!!!

TFR

The Power of the Net

2007-09-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

Though I've only been blogging for a relatively short time, God has done some amazing things through my site. He has bridged my world into the worlds of other bloggers and for that I'm thankful.

Take my new friend Carly. She's a blogger and also a teacher, an art teacher--whoa! She has a great story and I'm blessed to have met her. Had I not started my blog site last month I would be less two new friends. It's just cool when you begin to see the real power of the net in action and how it can be used as a tool for God.

Carly, I am thankful. You reminded me what my life is supposed to be about and it's not the treasures of this earth. I am called, as a Christian, to serve others as I serve Christ. I'm not supposed to get caught up in the worldly worries, but transcend above that in the unspeakable joy that comes from a relationship with God.

So, I'll not worry that I didn't get a promotion this summer. God has grander plans in store for me. In my little mind, I can't comprehend all the God is going to do, but I know he's working on it right now, as I type.

I thank God for Carly and Steven and all the others he is going to bring into my life through this blog site.

Whether it's running, blogging, teaching, or whatever you do, do it for the Lord and do it with joy.

May God bless you all with an abundance of happiness.

Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Runnin' Against the Wind

2007-09-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

If you live in the Texas Panhandle you're always running against the wind. Regardless of what you may have heard, Amarillo is THE windy city. In fact, according to a study by the American Meteorological Society, Amarillo beat Chicago as the windiest city in America.

Amarillo is the only city where the wind blows from every direction at once. You'll start to do an out and back run, thinking, "If I run against the wind out, I'll have it at my back coming home." Yeah, right! Start out, turn around, there it is again. Sometimes it feels like the wind is blowing straight down from the sky. How does that happen?

Alberto Salazar, the famous runner and now coach, said there is absolutely no benefit to running against the wind and I believe him. When you're a fat runner you have more surface area for wind to hit.

Okay, so how did I get on this subject? Living and running in Amarillo makes you constantly aware of the weather conditions since we don't have those pesky trees to deflect the wind like people do in real parts of the world. Oh, and we don't have mountains to block our view, either.

What do we have? How about some of the friendliest people anywhere. And arguably the most beautiful sunsets around. Yeah, granted the sun isn't setting behind an ocean, but the sky is spectacular at sunset here. The final scene of Indiana Jones and the Final Crusade, where the main characters rode off into the sunset, was shot just outside Amarillo. Bet you didn't know that.

When you get down to it, this may not be the greatest place to run, but I'll take it. I like my little corner of the world and I'm not leaving it anytime soon.

It's fun running down the street and hearing my name being shouted by my past and present students. You get waves from people you don't even know, but such is Amarillo. And I like it just fine.

That's my confession...what's yours?

God bless and Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Once More, With Feeling

2007-08-29T16:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry about my last post. It had been a frustrating day which was sort of the capper of an even more frustrating summer. How can I purport to be this Christian man when I'm puking my guts out about my job? I vow to try harder. You, my wonderful readers, all 4 of you, deserve better.

Today was a much better day at Happy School for the Gifted and Criminally Lazy. As my fellow blogger and art teacher can attest, the first week is always the toughest. Rules must be set and we have to learn a whole new batch of names.

I had a really good run, but it was on the fake road, or treadmill as you might call it. There is nothing like hitting the road, or the belt, to work off the stress of a long day. Running is my medicine.

Fall is approaching and I can't wait for the terrific runs that are waiting to happen. I'm so anticipating the coolness that will soon be here.

Once again, I apologize for my rant last night. Let's get on with more pressing things like the pennant race and kickoff of the college football season this weekend.

Who's your favorite college football team? Mine are the Longhorns, of course. I have a great idea I'd like to pitch to UT and its fans. Instead of coming to the Red River Shootout wearing burnt orange, I suggest all Texas fans wear Boise State t-shirts in honor of their victory over OU last bowl season. Now wouldn't that be something? Just imagine, half of the Cotton Bowl awash in a sea of Broncho blue. Problem is OU would most likely get so angry they would kill Texas 60-0. It's still a funny idea, you have to admit.

Write and tell me who you'll be rooting for this season. I love your comments.

God bless and Ever Forward!!!

TFR

Long Time, No See

2007-08-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

My computer went all chicken fried the other day, so I've been offline for a while. Well, I've got a new PC and I'm back in business.

What's new? Let's see, school has started in earnest. We are off and running. Here's how my first day went. It's 8:15 am and I'm addressing my first period sixth grade babies and in walks my next door neighbor, also an art teacher. One of her special ed students was having an episode and kicking his assistant that works with him. So, I went in and removed him from class. After 15 minutes of restraining this kid and having him grab my tie, which is a big no-no, I was sweaty and in a bad mood. The year will be pretty much downhill from there.

Since this is called Confessions of a Fat Runner, I have a confession for you: I can't stand my job! Don't get me wrong. I have some wonderful kids and that I really do care about, but overall, I don't want to be a teacher anymore. I have never felt a true "calling" into the profession. I've kind of painted myself into a corner by getting a Master's degree in Education. That and $1 will get you a cup of coffee. I don't see a lot of options for me, or future in the teaching business, for that matter.

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a lawyer. I can recall being a teenager and being captivated by law programs on television. I wanted to know everything I could about law. You'd think I would've gone into something like that since it was my dream to be an attorney, but my life took some very strange turns that kept me from pursuing that desire.

Without revealing too much about myself (you never know who is reading this), I was a lousy stinking bum coming out of high school. I was lucky to graduate and it took some creative grade juggling on the part of my counselor to get me through. I was smart--too smart-- and terribly lazy.

I've always struggled with self-esteem issues, which is probably why I've always been fat. At one time in my life I ballooned over 315 lbs. I didn't want to work and I squandered my financial aid in college. My first years in a university were an absolute waste. My high school counselor bought me a second chance and I wasted it.

I met my wife in college and I still didn't straighten out. It was like I was in this stupor that rendered me incapable of wanting anything for my life. I cared about very little, including God. This all left me pretty apathetic to life and very down about my future.

Fast forward almost 15 years later. I walked across the stage at age 37, finally receiving my Bachelor's degree in Business. Business? What the heck did I know about business? It was a means to an end and it got me out of school. From there, and since I had been working for our school district anyway, I decided to get a teaching certificate. While working on that certificate I stayed in and completed the coursework for a Master's. 3 years and $30,000 in student loans later I received my second degree.

I've come to the realization my Master's has been an utter waste of time. If you don't move into administration you get very little compensation for an advanced degree in my profession. It's a shame. In a business that works to shape the minds of our future leaders, we get nothing for working our tails off to further our own education.

I interviewed 7 times this summer for an administration position, striking out every time. I walked back into my classroom defeated, with little self-esteem or motivation to teach. Right now, I don't even know what my next move will be. I'm pretty lost.

That brings me to what I mentioned earlier--being a lawyer. How can a 43-year old man, with a mortgage, and two car payments, find a way to go to law school? If you have any ideas, please let me know. I desperately want to do this, but I don't know how to make it work. I want my wife, who has taught for 19 years and is growing more discouraged with her job each day, to be able to quit and stay home.

Now you see my dilemma. I want to live and believe Paul's words that everything is "rubbish" but it's so hard to do when your heart desires something more, something greater. It's not about the money. It's about being happy with what I do and I'll never be happy teaching.

I guess I'll run and think and maybe run some more. Now if I could find a way to earn a living from running, I'd do that in a heartbeat. But when you're a fat runner, you're lucky all you get to do is teach, I guess.

That's my confession--what's yours?

Send me your ideas. I've love to hear them.

God bless and ever forward!

TFR

Oops, Here They Come!

2007-08-23T01:57:00.000-07:00

I just got off the phone with the phone company and they are in the process of tracing the prank phone call. It's only a matter of time before they find you.

It's too bad someone would read my blog site and decide to pull a stupid stunt like that. I'm saddened that I even have to use my blog to communicate to you, the person that did this. I know you read my blog because you said something when you called that was in a blog I wrote.

I hope the police are nicer to you than the last kids that pranked us a few years ago. My friend, the cop, can be pretty tough and he won't cut any slack. That's why I'm going to see if he'll let me come with him this time. I want you and your parents to have to face me.

This is a blog site, meant to be used for good things, which I'm hoping this will turn into. If nothing more, someone is about to learn a serious life-lesson.

If you're reading this, then just know it's a matter of time before you'll be getting a visit from a man wearing a badge.

I'll be seeing you soon and maybe even in court since I will file charges on you.

God bless you!

TFR

Prank Phone Calls and The Last Laugh

2007-08-23T01:19:00.000-07:00

My phone rang at 2:50 this morning, waking me from a sound sleep. It reminds of a time a few years back when we were getting two or three calls a night for almost a week. Well, I finally got fed up with the callers.

Did you know there's this cool little thing the phone company can do to trace a call? I found that out after calling them to complain. Well, they traced the call and sent the number to our local police department. One of my friends is a cop and he went and got the number. He, along with a juvenile detective, went to the person's home, which turned out to be someone in my daughter's class. Long story short, they hauled these two kids into the police station and we filed charges on them. Guess what happened then? The families had to pay a pretty big fine when they had a meeting with a prosecutor. Oh, and the phone company took away their phone use.

Can you imagine that? Well, guess what? It's about to happen again to the person or persons who just called my house. Hey, and I know you read this blog site because of something you said. Not real smart.

So, get ready. The next knock you hear at your door just might be a police officer, who just happens to be my friend. And this time I think I'll see if I can come with him.

I am not afraid of anyone. I will press charges and I will see you in court. Try me and find out. Start watching over your shoulder because the cops are coming. You can count on that because I've already called the phone company and they are tracing your number.

What's that sound? Could it be fear? I just hope your parents aren't going to miss their phone that much.

Good luck to you and I WILL be seeing you soon!

TFR

Michael Vick: A Few Thoughts

2007-08-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

I played football in high school and it continues to be part of my life today. I'm a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan (stop grumbling, Steven). I'm saddened by what we're witnessing in professional sports today.

Where are our role models? I proudly sported my #12 Roger Staubach jersey in middle school back in the middle 70's. I still show off my baseball cards, many of which I began collecting at age 6. The big names in sports we worshiped as kids were Staubach, Bradshaw, Montana, and later on, Michael Jordan. Now, these guys weren't perfect. In fact, with the exception of Staubach, the aforementioned suffered through failed marriages and infidelity scandals. But what Vick did defies explanation.

We are talking about a guy that generates tons of money in merchandising for the NFL and Nike, as well as being a role model to thousands of kids in the U.S. In light of his plea agreement and subsequent impending sentencing next Monday, I'm wondering how kids will view this.

I see students at my middle school wearing the familiar red and black Falcons jersey with the big number 7 right under the name Vick. My first thought when the true story of Michael Vick's deeds emerged was of these impressionable kids. What must they be thinking and how will it affect the way they view athletes and adults, in general?

Back in my first year teaching there was another art teacher in the district that was fired for having pornography on his computer. As the news got out and shockwaves rippled throughout the district, one of my sixth graders asked me, "You ain't go no porn on your computer, do you?" I wanted to find that guy and wring his neck for the darkness he cast on me and my colleagues.

When I look at Michael Vick all I see is a waste of God-given talent. He had it all and he blew it. The only person that knows what will come of this is Vick, himself. Even though he faces prison time, a huge fine, and public scorn, he can turn this thing around and right the ship that is his life. He has that choice and I hope he makes it.

The Bible says we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We all deserve a do-over. I've done a lot of things in my life I'm none too proud of. And I got a second chance. But I decided I had to do my part and make the changes necessary to heal from those mistakes. Michael Vick must do the same. The ball is in his court.

When I asked where are our role models, well, we have them. The media would rather focus on the bad stuff in athletics, or politics, or schools and not talk about the good men and women out there that positively impact America's youth. There are guys like the Braves' John Smoltz, or Emmitt Smith, or females such as Sheryl Swoopes, and the thousands of great teachers, coaches, ministers, and neighbors that give kids a reason to dream.

I pray that our kids will follow celebrities for the right reasons, for the positive things they do that often times go unnoticed by society. I also pray society doesn't come down too hard on those that have fallen from the pedestals we love to hoist them on. Remember, "Let him without sin, cast the first stone."

That's my confession...what's yours?

God bless you and ever forward!!!

--TFR

Miles Apart, but Still Friends

2007-08-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

Since beginning my blog site earlier this month, I have been blessed to find a new friend. If you've had the opportunity to read some of my posts then you've read the comments of Steven Rigney from Chicago.

Steve is also a runner and has a terrific blog site. I look forward to his comments and learn something from each of them.

It just goes to show you how something as seemingly insignificant as a blog site can turn into something more. My mom always said a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. Of course, my mom never met Jeffrey Dahmer. However, she raised me with the strong values of friendship and loving my neighbor. So far, I've been privileged to make a new friend, Steven. We are miles apart, but I feel a kinship with him as a fellow runner.

Steven, you have my standing invitation to call on me if you're ever passing through Amarillo, Texas. I would love to show you Texas hospitality at its finest.

This goes out to anyone reading this. Life is too short. Make a friend--make lots of them. No matter where or how, get to know people. I teach my 8th grade careers classes that networking is perhaps the most important thing they can do as they are looking for jobs. Well, network not for the monetary gain it will bring you, but for the kindness you can share with others.

May God bless you with happy running and lots of fun!

Ever Forward!!!

--TFR

A Heart Like Yusef's

2007-08-20T16:31:00.000-07:00

You know, every time I think I'm fed up with my job God sends me a little reminder. Case in point. Today, I decided to do my run on the treadmill. It's blasted hot here in the Texas Panhandle. Even last night at 9, it was still too warm to run. Anyway, I'm running on the treadmill and I look across the cardio room and there on the treadmill is Yusef.

I first met Yusef four years ago in a special education meeting held just for him, better known as an ARD meeting. Yusef was transitioning into middle school that fall so we held a spring meeting in order to best determine his needs. You see Yusef is autistic. As I sat there, I thought to myself, "Great, I'm going to get this kid and he's going to need a lot of maintenance." I couldn't have been more wrong.

That fall, it was my privilege to have Yusef in my art class. His exuberance was only matched by the volume of his voice. As his name suggests, he is from middle-eastern descent, with olive skin and always looked like he needed a shave, even in sixth grade. He is fairly tall and slender with long, skinny fingers.

All one had to do was engage Yusef in conversation to find he has an opinion on everything. He was my enforcer, keeping kids quiet in my classroom, and he was my chief helper for anything art. He was and still is my Man!

This past spring semester marked Yusef's last year at our school. He is moving on to the big high school where, no doubt, he will continue to leave an indelible mark on all he touches. At the end of the school year, it dawned on me I wouldn't see him in the halls of Bonham Middle School again, not as a student, at least. And I started to hurt. He always gave me high-fives every morning and during passing periods. He would shout my name from down the hall whenever we met. Yusef became a big part of my life as a teacher and I will miss him deeply.

Before today, the last time I saw him was a month ago and again at the gym. I was walking from my truck toward the building when he emerged from the front door. Our eyes instantly made contact and here he came, running like the wind, to greet me. He hit me like a middle linebacker and gave me the sweetest of hugs. He beamed from ear to ear as he said, "Hey my pal, my buddy!"

Well, today, as soon as he finished his little treadmill jog he hopped off and spirited my way. I was finishing my run and he was screaming, "Hey, my pal!" After exchanging pleasantries, he asked me if high school would be fun and I gave him an affirming nod and said yes. He sighed and said, "I'm so sorry I didn't get to take your careers class this year." To which I let him off the hook. I told him I'd miss him and he said the same. Then, in true Yusef fashion, he said "Bye, my buddy, my pal!" Taking a few steps, he spun and yelled, "Did I tell you how sorry I am for missing your careers class?" "Yes, Yusef, you did," I acknowledged, "and it's all right, pal." He smiled and ran off.

I want to be like him. Yusef doesn't know hatred or prejudice. He lives in the here and now, not the past or the future. He loves without judgment and everyone is his friend. I'm proud to say I'm his pal. And I want a heart like Yusef's.

--TFR

Enough Politics, let's Run!

2007-08-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all,

Let's talk running. My favorite running time is approaching--fall. I just love fall and the dramatic changes it brings in temperature and scenery.

Being the fat and studly runner I am, I really appreciate the coolness of fall. I really like riding my bike in the heat of summer, but I have to wait until late evening to run. No, I'm not a morning runner! The last thing I want to do first thing in the morning is run.

Since I broached the morning subject, what are your thoughts on caffeine, particularly coffee, and the debate on whether it enhances performance? I don't know about all that, but I am a devout coffee drinker. The coffee shop is usually where I wind up after finishing a run.

So, you now have two things to discuss: (1) What's your favorite time of year to run and (2) Are you a coffee drinker and does that affect your running?

Write me and let's talk. My blog has been off to a slow start, but I hope to get better at it and learn new ways to get my word out there.

After starting my blog site, I have been praying God will open a door for me. I want to write for my living. It is my passion, along with my family, my faith, and my friends, and of course--running.

If you have ideas as to how I can get into a writing career please let me know (hey, topic 3).

God bless you all with great running and living.

Ever forward!!!

--TFR

NCLB, AYP, NCAA, NFL, and Other Acronyms

2007-08-18T10:00:00.001-07:00

The Federal Government. Hmmm. What comes to mind when you read those words? When it comes to education, the feds are clueless, like usual. Let me put some flesh on all these educational acronyms and buzzwords you've been hearing in the news.

Let's start with No Child Left Behind. Here's a lovely little program started by bureaucrats. Those guys live in Washington and know everything there is to know about education, right? Well, NCLB essentially calls for "Highly Qualified" personnel to be in every classroom in America. Have you ever been to the four corners area, specifcally around Arizona and New Mexico? Good luck getting highly qualified anything to teach there. Next, NCLB calls for a formalized, standarized assessment of all kids. I don't have a problem with getting the best people in the classroom or testing kids to gauge their progress. But, as I will show you later, NCLB, like all government programs, fails to acknowledge the human condition in education.

AYP (aka Adequate Yearly Progress): If you've been following the news, the AYP list for each state was just released. Schools are graded based on whether or not students passed the mandated standarized tests, which includes multiple sub groups, like lower socio-economics, race, and special education. Schools are also rated on attendance percentages and if every teacher is "highly qualified." A school can fail to meet AYP for dropping below standards in any of these categories.

Here's the truth behind AYP. If you live in rural areas like the Texas Panhandle or parts of New Mexico, for example, or perhaps in high-crime urban centers, or even cities that border Mexico, you will find it difficult to recruit teachers into those areas. Let's face it, when you can teach in a school that has little crime or social issues and live in cities that provide lots of opportunities, why would you want to live anywhere else? AYP doesn't take that into account. Nor does it factor in kids that live in horrible homes, with lousy parents, and boyfriends that abuse them. AYP just looks at cold, hard data and then makes judgments based on the results. So, you've got whole school districts in Texas and New Mexico that didn't meet AYP standards.

The punishment for failing to meet AYP comes in stages. At level 1 you get the warning. Level 2 is another warning and possible monitoring by the government, and at level 3 the school is taken by the government and staff is replaced. Good luck replacing everyone out on the reservation. Where will you find those replacements? I think Nancy Pelosi would make a fine substitute teacher.

Highly Qualified: A component of No Child Left Behind is the notion that every teacher will be highly qualified in their teaching subject. Like I said, good luck finding qualified math, science, and reading teachers out in rural areas. Some school districts in the Texas Panhandle will never meet this standard. So, are the feds going to fire them all? Highly Qualified, like everything else in NCLB is a pipe dream. Once again the authors of a federally mandated act wrote fiction, and fantasy fiction at that.

Most of the people we have running our government couldn't even measure up to what they want our schools to do. Most of these people send their kids to private schools. I guarantee you they have no clue what goes on in a public school. Yet, we in the profession are the beneficiaries of the fruits of their nightmarish dreams.

I am not anti-government. Let's get that on the table right now. I believe the government exists to provide a better quality of life for the citizens of our country. They have failed at that horribly. If we held our Congress and Senate to the same set of standards they hold our schools, they would all be fired.

There is no constitutional provision for the federal government to enact educational mandates to the states. Education should be a state-run entity, with the majority of that power being passed to local districts. States have the right to tell the government, "No thanks, we don't want your money." The problem is so many in state government have prostituted themselves to the feds and need that money to survive.

So, as a taxpaying voter, get out there and tell the government to mind its own business when it comes to our schools. We know what's best for our kids and our teachers are smart enough to handle things like assessments. We need less No Child Left Behind and more "quality" parent and community involvement. Less AYP and moreTLC. And we really need more "highly qualified" parents raising their children with the values and life skills required to survive in a troubled and broken world.

I hope that sheds a little light on the meaning of those confusing acronyms you see on TV and the real story behind them.

Read it for yourself at the U.S. DOE's web site: http://www.ed.gov/policy/elsec/guid/states/index.html

God bless you all.

Ever forward!!!

--TFR

School Crossing

2007-08-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

With the end of summer comes the pennant race, last-minute vacations, and of course, the inevitable, the start of another school year.

This will be my fifteenth year going to a middle school. 6 of those 15 have been spent as a classroom teacher. This summer was supposed to be the close of my teaching career and the beginning of a new life as an administrator. Well, it didn't work out that way. Our first official work-days began last Thursday. I returned bitter and indifferent after striking out in seven interviews this summer.

I sat at the front table at registration this year, knowing full well I really didn't want to return. My disgust was compounded by the shame I felt every time one of my students would run in and hug me. Or, if they presented their sibling to me, saying "this will be your teacher and he's cool." If these kids only knew what I was thinking.

I shared with you in an earlier blog my need to get over myself and accept the fact that life is good, no matter what. But when you see the state education is in today and know your role in it isn't going to get better, all you want to do is get out. When you know as an elective teacher you aren't viewed as important to the educational process it makes you just decide to hide.

Teaching has been a rocky experience for me. I've never been all that comfortable in the role. Teaching has changed so much since I was a kid. For example, I don't have a paddle in my desk the way my teachers did. I can't spank, no matter what. Trust me, I got my rear-end busted on several occasions and then I got killed when I got home. Discipline has gotten tougher every year I have taught.

My colleagues, many of them I regard as the best in the city, are becoming increasingly cynical with our profession. Some of these guys have taught 3-4 times longer than me. I feel for them.

School is crossing a lot of people. With No Child Left Behind, Adequate Yearly Progress, lack of good parenting, and public support, it's little wonder education is witnessing a mass exodus. Listen to this warning as if it were words from a prophet: If this keeps up, no one will be left to teach our kids.

50 percent of all teachers in America are at retirement age. The average career span of a new teacher is now 3 years. At some point, where will our teachers come from? You tell me.

In less than two weeks, I'll be back in the classroom, setting rules and not smiling for six weeks. I'll be dealing with kids that should know how to behave themselves but choose to disrupt the learning of others. I'll have to take attendance, make sure all the kids on meds that need to go see the nurse each day get that done, deal with drama issues, fix my computer, and chase other mundane tasks. I do this in addition to teaching classes that will average 28 students.

I'm not looking for sympathy. But when you send your kids off to school, ask yourself these questions. Have I done everything I can to prepare my child for school? Am I my child's primary educator? Do I let the school raise my child and then get angry at the outcome? And lastly, do I help my child's teachers or slow them down?

It does indeed take a village to raise a child. It takes a village to teach and learn and grow to survive.

So, I will be back another year, hoping to survive and do my best. I just pray I can do this. Pray for our teachers because they do have a tough job. We do love your kids but they are YOUR kids. Love them first in a way that will make our village thrive.

May God bless you with a great school year.

Ever Forward!!!

--TFR

Sometimes I think, Sometimes I run

2007-08-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

Running is just plain weird. Some days, you feel like you're fast and light on your feet. On others, your legs feel like wet cement. And then there are those in-between days where you just aren't sure you even want to run at all.

Today, I felt really good. I did a short two-mile loop and ran quick and light. I rarely get below a 10-minute per mile pace anymore, but this evening I broke 9:30. Even my knees felt better, for some reason. Usually, my left knee feels like it has gravel in it so for me to run this fast and not hurt is great.

I don't know what kinds of runs you do--whether they are tempo, endurance, or just long and slow with no purpose. I break mine into funky little categories.

Thinking Runs: This is where I run because I have something I my mind I need to work out. Sometimes I do lesson planning while I run, or maybe it's to solve a dilemma I'm facing.

Butt-busters: I hop on the treadmill and all but kill myself. There's no way I could sustain a sub-8 minute pace on the road, so I do my real, serious cardio stuff in the gym. Hence the name.

No-brainers: I've got my iPod on, listening to some Pat Benatar or Smashmouth and off I go. Nothing on my mind, no agendas...just me and the road and my slow pace.

Prayer Runs: This, without question, is my most meaningful workout. I run and talk to God. I run after God and to God. This is where I get to spend my quality time with my Father. I get more accomplished during this type of run than any other.

I confess I'll always love the prayer runs the best. Just me and God and Mother Nature.

I told you running is weird. Runners are even more weird than that.

That's my confession. What's yours? Write me. Not many of you are. I really do want to hear from you!

God bless and Ever Forward!

--TFR

Fave Run

2007-08-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

Down I-40 I go, weaving in and out of traffic, dodging car after car, risking life and limb for fitness. Okay, that's my hook. I don't really run down a busy freeway. I mean, I like adventure but I ain't crazy!

Runner's World magazine has a feature called "Rave Runs." That inspired me to give you my "Fave Runs."

We have this neighborhood here in Amarillo called Wolflin. This area is perhaps the oldest part of our city. Its streets are brick cobblestone that weave beneath huge, old elms that provide cover for runners, walkers, and cylists alike. No matter what the season, Wolflin is beautiful. And its homes, they are grand, with lovely, manicured lawns, and columns that welcome visitors. Some of these homes have been around for decades and have witnessed the changes of times and technology.

I like to run a 1.5 mile loop through the old streets and sometimes I'll do a three-miler around the perimeter of the neighborhood. While running, I pass one of the oldest elementary schools in our city. Its architecture makes you long for the simplicity of a bygone era. Down the hill from the school you traverse a lovely old park and the middle school it surrounds. A church on the corner chimes its bells at precisely the same time every day.

I guess the real reason I run Wolflin is it is where I began my running career over 10 years ago. I lived in an apartment complex less than a mile from it. We had always driven through Wolflin at Christmas time. Seeing those beautiful lights in blue, green, and red against the monster homes is always a tradition in my family. One day, I decided to do Wolflin on foot, running a little over three miles from my apartment to our local Hastings bookstore where I'd have coffee and browse the books. I remember the first time I hit those brick streets, hearing my footsteps and the sound of my breathing. They were in perfect harmony with the sound of the breeze rustling the trees.

Since then, I have moved to the western edge of our city, some 5 miles from my favorite running spot. We live close to most of the shopping centers in our city and the traffic makes running difficult. When the opportunity presents itself, I lace up my shoes, head to Wolflin, park on my corner, and start my loop. Even in the heat of summer, Wolflin provides a cool shelter against the elements.

But my absolute favorite time to run Wolfin is in late fall. There is nothing like the crunch of the fallen leaves under your feet as you move through an area that transports you to another place and time. It's almost like you start in Texas and finish in New England. The colors are so vibrant, the air crisp, and the running unsurpassed.

That's my fave run. What's yours? Tell me where you like to run and what it's like. I love those kinds of stories. If you run in Chicago, like my fellow runner Steve, or in some other part of the country, please write and tell me about it. I want to share my life with you and vice versa.

May God bless you with great running.

Ever Forward!!!

--TFR

Life is Good

2007-08-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot on my mind this summer. Who am I kidding? I've had a lot on my mind and shoulders for two years now. In 2005, my wife had a stroke and my daughter almost died. We've been left with hospital bills, which were just about paid off when my youngest had a relapse from the depression of being a diabetic and poor management of her disease. After that, she wiped out her car and two others, and then her sister decided to get into act and total hers. My oldest daughter sustained a deep hematoma that became infected. She underwent surgery to drain it and lived on IV antibiotics for three weeks.

So, we've fought a spiritual and financial battle for close to two years now. Then, out of the blue, our cruddy health insurance provider tells us they aren't going to cover my daughter's stay in the hospital because we went to an out-of-network service. When the ambulance driver tells you he HAS to take you to that ER because it's a trauma, you really don't have much choice but to bail out of a vehicle moving at 50 mph. We're now fighting the insurance company to get them to pay. It's six of one, half dozen of another.

Yet, life is still good. My daughters are both healthy, finally, and we are all still alive. I have a great family, wonderful home, terrific friends, and cars that actually work. If you had told me 20 years ago I'd be living this life I wouldn't have believed you. Back then I was barely working, had a car that worked when it chose, and didn't have a window to throw it out of. God truly has blessed me.

I've been reading a lot about Job and how he dealt with all the adversity that came his way. A lot people think he had everything dumped on him unfairly. If you know the true story of Job, even though he praised God, he was a very prideful man. So am I, but all these little disasters have served to humble me and make me realize what and who I really worship. It's been a work in progress and hasn't taken overnight for me to understand how incredibly fortunate I am to have the life I've been given.

For the majority of my life, I would call myself a believer of God and follower of Christ, but if you were to examine the last 20-25 years of my existence you would find a picture completely counter to that claim. I have been prideful, arrogant, boasting, and flat out stubborn. When I don't get my way I complain and I've done nothing but gripe about my job for 5 years now. Not exactly the image of a person of humility and faith.

Like Job, God has been molding and shaping me--holding my feet to the fire, as it were. My resistance has been great, but I am weakening. The weight of my own pride is bringing me to my knees, literally.

Life is good, though. Life has always been good. I'm just too stupid to realize it. I've always been blessed. Sometimes things don't go our way, but it's always for a reason. There are no coincidences, my friends. Everything and I do mean EVERYTHING is part of God's plan. My wife's stroke, daughter's coma, both my kids' wrecks...heck, even the battle with the dumb insurance company will work to God's glory, no matter what.

I have no place in the pecking order and regardless of what I do, I'll never be good enough. No one is, no one can be. We have received grace, so I need to quit wasting my time wishing I was something else, or if I should've zigged instead of zagged. Life is too short...and life is good.

That's my confession. What's yours?

God bless and Ever Forward.

The Fat Runner

Diabetics, not by L. Ron Hubbard

2007-08-12T12:50:00.000-07:00

My daughter Melissa is a type-1 diabetic and has been for almost two years now. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, she survived a diabetic coma that should have killed her. Since then, she takes 4 injections per day and must watch her carb intake closely.

Such is the life of a type-1 diabetic. If you don't know the differences between type 1 and 2, let me explain them.

Type 1: This person has little to no pancreatic function. The pancreas secretes insulin to break down food into useable sugar. Insulin regulates blood glucose (BG), better known as blood sugars. Type 1's must take insulin either delivered in an injection or by use of an insulin pump to survive. Type 1 is also juvenile onset (before age 18).

Type 2: The pancreas is able to produce some insulin but not enough to effectively regulate BG. Type 2's do not necessarily require insulin injections. With proper diet, type 2 diabetics can almost erase the disease completely. However, there are many type 2's, like my wife, that take shots each day.

Research is showing that type 1 diabetes is hereditary. The misconception about diabetics is they are all overweight and eat too many sweets. That is a myth. The disease lies within the genes of the individual and can erupt due to stress, prolonged illness, and a variety of factors. There are myriad reasons type 1 diabetes surfaces.

My daughter was a fairly healthy teenager and all of the sudden, she hit rock bottom. There are warning signs, but sometimes they are hard to detect. Insatiable thirst, increased need to urinate, sluggishness are but a few of the signs there could be a problem.

If you suspect your child may be diabetic, doctors can administer an A1C, or hemoglobin test which gives a picture of the last three-months blood sugars. Don't wait until your kid is flat on his or her back in an ER to find out.

The primary reason I wanted to share this with you is to educate you on one of the fastest, and least funded, diseases in the nation. Medical experts estimate there are 14 million diagnosed diabetics in the United States and millions more that don't know it.

In September, the National Walk for Diabetes will be held around the country. Please check with your local Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation office (JDRF) to see when the walk is scheduled in your community. If you're from Amarillo, ours is September 8, at 9:00 am, out at Thompson Park.

Please give to this cause. Chances are you know someone who is affected by diabetes. A cure is just around the corner and every dollar helps.

Thanks, God bless, and Ever Forward!!!

--TFR

How Great Thou Art

2007-08-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed from my profile, I'm a teacher...an art teacher, to be exact. I also teach 8th grade Career Education. For some time now, I haven't been happy in my job. No Child Left Behind has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I've watched our schools go from decent to crummy under the weight of NCLB. Unfortunately, the federal government is leaving is ALL behind--kids, teachers, parents, country.

I sit here tonight, counting the last days until school starts and dreading that day. It's not hell, because I've seen hell and this ain't it, but it's just not fun anymore. The only thing I have to look forward to is the privilege of working with the best art teacher in our district. My fellow art teacher and co-worker, Adrienne, is perhaps the finest artist I know. It is my honor to work in her shadow.

Art has always been natural to me. But, unlike Adrienne, it's never been my "passion, per se. I've drawn all my life. Some of my first remembrances of childhood is drawing. I won many contests in elementary, middle, and high school and then again in college. I never wanted to teach it, but here I am.

God has a strange and funny way of placing us into situations we'd rather not be in. Just like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life," I languish in sea of self-made despair, being tossed to and fro by my own manufactured misery. That's horrible talk for a Christian who should be finding joy in life and reveling in every moment of it. As Adrienne puts it, "I need to get happy, or get another job."

Unlike George Bailey I never want to find out what life would be like without me in it. I am blessed to have a "wonderful life," filled with a beautiful wife and kids and lots of great friends. Had I not gone into teaching I would have never established some of the best relationships I've ever had, with kids, parents, colleagues, etc. I am blessed to teach some amazing kids. Most of them I wouldn't trade for anything. It is truly my privilege to work with a staff of teachers, so dedicated, so proud of their profession that I wish those pointy-heads in Washington could spend just one day with them.

My neighbor, colleague, fellow art teacher, and one of my best friends in the world doesn't know how lucky I feel to be in her presence. She and I have been through a lot together. We are our sounding boards and I certainly wouldn't trade the time I've spent with her for any amount of money. Okay, maybe a few bucks or some coffee, but I digress.

I guess my point is, and I'm sounding like Kevin Nealon's character on SNL, that life is too short to get your colon in a wad over small stuff like our jobs. I've stared my daughter's death in the face so you'd think I'd have a better grip on life. Well, sometimes I have to go through my 10-minute pity-party and then I'm fine.

Oh, and back to art and my teaching of it. Well, art really is great and without it, we'd have nothing. We are all creatures of design, with a genesis. We are "God's workmanship" and handcrafted to do good things for others. I'll quit sweating the small stuff for now and face that first day of school with the confidence that comes from God, not me.

That's my confession...what's yours?

God bless you and ever forward!!!

--TFR

In (i) Pod We Trust

2007-08-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

Well, sorta. If you like to run or ride with an mp3, please write and let me know about it, what type, music, etc. I must say, I've been running with an mp3 for about two years now and really enjoy it. I don't how I lived without one.

My girls bought me a 2 gb, iPod Nano for my birthday this year and I've thoroughly enjoyed using it. I have close to 500 songs loaded on it and it is a blast to wear. The only downside is no FM tuner, like my last mp3 player, but with all that music I've discovered I don't miss a radio at all. Some of my playlist faves include Smashmouth, Sheryl Crow, and hits from the '80's (yes, I'm old).

The cool thing about owning an iPod is all the accessories you can purchase for it. Since I've been wearing Nike Air Zoom running shoes that are iPod+ ready, I went ahead and bought the Nike Plus running sensor. If you have a Nano and presently use it for runs, you might want to give the Nike+ a try. It cost me $29 and it's a snap to use. What's really cool is the fact you can get instant feedback from either a male or female voice during your run. Once you finish, you might even hear from Lance Armstrong if you set a personal best in distance and/or time.

I really dig the website and once you download your run it's a like a little game seeing your run graphed right there on the screen. I'm not paid to endorse this, but if you need motivation, like I often do, then give this gadget a shot. I think you'll like it.

And now, a word about safety. I do wear my iPod while riding my bike but I keep the volume down and I only ride in areas with very little traffic, like away from the city. I can't caution you enough to be careful when riding and running while using an mp3 player. After all, the goal is improved physical fitness, not to be someone's new hood ornament.

To see the Nike+ in action you can go to www.nikeplus.com or check out the review on www.cnet.com for more information.

I'm not paid and I'm not a client. I'm just a fat runner that likes his gadgets. Hope anything I said today will help.

Happy running and riding to you all.

Ever Forward!!!

--TFR

Four Score and 22 Years Ago

2007-08-10T07:18:00.001-07:00

Well, 22 years ago today, at least, I married the best woman in the world. My wife has been my rock. She's my best friend who isn't afraid to use a well-placed foot when I need it, but can comfort me like no other in my darkest moments. She and I have been to hell and back, stared death in the face together, and lived to laugh about it.

My girls--Angela, Alicia, and Melissa-- are the reasons I run and try to stay in shape. I want to live a long, full life with them. It's my job to protect them and I can't effectively do that if I'm weak and sick. So, I trudge along and log miles and lift weights in hopes of living longer so I can be strong when they're weak.

One thing I have learned in life is no matter how tough or strong I may be, I'm still a human--vulnerable, weak, and prone to temptation. As much as I may try not to admit it, and all guys do this, it doesn't take much to remind me how fragile I am. One illness, a slight injury and WHAM, I'm instantly shown I'm not the tough dude I like to portray.

22 years have brought me little fame and much humility. The only pride I have is in the knowledge I get to walk next to my wonderful, loving wife who hasn't kicked me out yet. I pray I get 22 more years with her, at least. I realize she's on loan from God and I do my best to never look that in the mouth.

So, I will keep running and exercising and doing my best to be the man my family needs me to be. The first and best exercise any of us can do is deep knee bends that bring us closer to God. This morning, as I type this, I will finish with a prayer of thanks to my Father who has given me more than I ever dreamed--a great wife, two awesome kids, and friends I wouldn't trade for anything.

God bless and Ever Forward!

--TFR

Running with God

2007-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my profile, my youngest daughter is a type-1 diabetic. She survives on 4 insulin injections every day. She wasn't always a diabetic and we had to find out the hard way.

On December 27, 2005, my daughter celebrated her 16th birthday. She marked the sweet 16 milestone by promptly eating everything in sight that day. Her friends took her to breakfast at I-Hop, lunch at Sonic, and then we all ate as a family at a local Italian restaurant that evening. The next day, she wasn't feeling well, which her mother and I attributed to her eating so much.

Two days later, on December 28, Melissa was feverish and vomiting. Now, she's our little drama queen and has had many "near-death" experiences from things like pimples, or a cold. But this time, she really looked ill. Her mom took her to our "Doc-in-the-box," and was told she needed to go straight to the ER. My wife called me from the hospital and said it didn't look good. Quickly and frantically, I rushed over to find my daughter delirious. The nurse came in and said the results of her blood tests showed her blood glucose level at 860 and toxic levels of acid. We learned Melissa was in a state of DKA, or ketoacidosis, in which her blood was now acidic and near fatal.

It all seemed like a blur as we sprinted through the halls, Melissa on a gurney, to pediatric ICU. There we were met by a team of nurses and physicians all shouting orders as they moved our daughter into a room. Within 1 hour my daughter was in a coma and the doctor told us she might not make it through the night.

Each hour was pure agony. Hours turned into days, as we got no good news and the prognosis grew more and more dim. Melissa, our sweet, bubbly teenager was dying. For four days she languished in an unconscious state. By now, the resident specialist on juvenile diabetes in our region was in control. He worked day and night with my daughter, as did the attending physician. They were our angels.

On day four, December 31, I couldn't take it anymore. The hospital is just across from a huge park surrounding a small lake. At the request of my wife, I strapped on my running shoes and took off. As I ran all I could think of was all the things I wanted to say to my daughter and how desperately I wanted a second chance. It was cold, but I didn't notice it. People must have thought me crazy as I was crying the whole run.

I found myself running after God and wanting answers. Why my kid? Why now? I want to see her graduate. I want to give her hand in marriage to the man she'll spend the rest of her life with. My grandchildren, I want to hold them. God gave me some peace in my 3-mile run that day. Something I hadn't had in four days.

That night, as the rest of the world was celebrating the coming a new year, and as we watched the ball drop in Times Square, we sat and waited for some signs of improvement. Melissa had just had another cat scan at 5 am. I couldn't take it anymore. As our youth minister led us in prayer I literally fell into his lap and cried my soul out. At that moment, I did something that was almost impossible for me. I gave my daughter back to God. I told him no matter the outcome, I would praise him for he is my God.

At 6:00 am, January 1st, with the first new day beginning in a new year, my daughter opened her eyes. I was sitting in the hall with my head down and I heard my wife and everyone in her room scream. I instantly thought the worse, but when I ran in I saw my kid looking at me. She had a breathing tube in her throat so she couldn't talk. I asked her if she knew how much I loved her and she nodded yes. It was the greatest day of my life.

It took about 8 more days for her to leave the hospital and there was no permanent brain damage, although that is suspect from her behavior sometimes (HA), but she had made it. God brought us through the worst time of our lives.

As I look back I remember that 3-mile run and my conversation with God and all I can do is say "Wow!" He does listen and he weeps with us and he celebrates our victories, just as we do.

So, next time you're out running, try running with God. Strike up a conversation with him. You might be surprised at the answers you'll get.

2 years later and my daughter will graduate from high school early. She wants to go to cooking school and open a restaurant for diabetics. She and I took a 50-mile journey to raise money for diabetes last year, but the real journey is just beginning for her. It's a journey I just thank God she's around to take.

God bless you all and ever forward!!!

--The Fat Runner

Phat Gear for Fat Runners

2007-08-09T08:11:00.001-07:00

Okay, you don't have to be fat to have a shoe obsession, or to use the gear I'm going to discuss. I've been seriously running and riding for over 11 years now and have tried almost every shoe you can imagine. Based on those experiences, I want to pass along what I've learned.

When it comes to shoes, you can't beat Asics. For heavier runners, Asics makes perhaps the best shoe on the market. If you are over 200 lbs. you might want to consider the Kayano or Gel Nimbus-9 (new this summer). Presently, I'm running in the Nimbus-9 and Nike Pegasus and Air Zoom.

Let's start with the Zoom and work our way back. The Zoom is iPod+ ready and is a very light shoe. It's almost too light for a guy like me, but I am more of a front-foot striker than heel. Still, it has some good cushioning, even though Runner's World says the shoe is more for people of average weight. I've worn mine for 7 months with no significant problems. It also works great with my iPod and I love the little sensor that goes in the insole. That's another story for another time.

I also bought a pair of the new Nike Pegasus+ and loved them. I mostly wear them on the treadmill and they have a lot cushioning. If you have wide feet then they aren't for you, but the styling, price, and feel have sold me.

The Gel-Nimbus-9 is probably the best of the group for larger runners. The are stable, but have tons of cushioning and support. They look great and feel even better. I don't get paid to give these reviews. I'm doing this to help save you some bucks and let you benefit from my shoe obsession.

The Asics Gel Kayano is another great shoe for heavier runners, but it is a stable running shoe for just about anyone that likes comfort and style. They run a little over $100 but are worth it.

Even if all you do is walk for fitness, try some of these shoes I've mentioned, especially the Asics models. Remember, with running shoes you do get what you paid for. If you buy a discount store shoe, even a low-end Nike, you will notice a huge difference in how your feet and joints feel down the road, so to speak. My advice: spend a little more and get a better shoe. Your feet will thank you and you will be a happier runner.

Lastly--bikes. I'm only going to comment on one brand. I own a Trek 820 and love it. It is perhaps the most reasonably priced of the name-brands out there. I paid $189 on sale. It is a solid, steel framed mountain bike with front suspension and 21 speed, rapid-fire shifters. For a big guy like me (6'1", 240), I need a bike that won't send the seatpost through my rear-end. Talk about a bad first date. This is my second 820 in 8 years. I sold the other one after putting over 2000 miles on it. Take a look at it next time you're at your local bike shop.

I hope these reviews will help you as you take to the road for improved fitness and a better way of life. Let me know what you think. Oh, since this is called Confessions of a Fat Runner, well...okay, I confess. I own WAY too many shoes. My friends call me Imelda Marcos. My obsession is your gain.

That's my confession, what yours?

God bless and ever forward!!!

--The Fat Runner

Tomorrow's Topic--Running and Riding Gear!

2007-08-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

My buddy Jason just sent me a great comment. He's a big guy and I've proudly watched him faithfully hitting the machines at the gym. He works out hard and is trying to lose weight. Please look at his comment if you have time.

His response prompted me to do some thinking. I've ran and ridden for many years now, so I should be able to comment on running gear, bikes, etc. So, tomorrow, I'll review some of the shoes I've tried and been successful wearing as a larger runner and we'll discuss some bikes I like for people over 200 lbs.

Every day I'll try to share some nuggets that will hopefully help you as you strive to be a better person in God, as well as a runner and rider.

If I can save you some money and time shopping for stuff, then that's the plan. If something is said on this site that brings you closer to Christ, then that's REALLY the plan!

I hope you will browse my site and make it a regular place to visit each day. I'll do my best to keep fresh posts coming every morning.

This isn't the place for politics, just for sharing our lives together.

Be safe, God bless, and ever forward!!!

--The Fat Runner

Welcome to Confessions of a Fat Runner

2007-08-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Welcome, fellow runners! I started this site as a way to connect with others who like to run, but also may be struggling with areas of their lives, like I do. As a Christian, I wrestle daily with life issues and stress. Running has a been an outlet for me to relieve stress and stay in shape. First, let me introduce myself so we can get better acquainted.

By the end of Spring 1997, I weighed 305 lbs. We all bought bikes for our family and set out to ride one day. I couldn't keep up with my kids, who were pretty small then. I huffed and puffed for a long, two-mile stretch and was absolutely disgusted with myself. I always fancied myself a better than average athlete, playing football and baseball in high school, but now I was a heart attack looking for a place to happen. That spring day changed my life.

I became determined to ride my bike more confidently and lose weight. So, every day I rode. 2 miles, 5, 6, 10. Before the summer was over I was riding over 25 miles in one shot and had lost nearly 40 lbs. When I returned to work that fall, no one could believe it. I weighed 260. Still, that was not enough, so I kept churning those pedals, and deprived myself of the foods I craved. By February 1998, I had lost 100 lbs. My friends were concerned I had lost too much, too quickly, which, in retrospect, I probably did. Yet, I went from a size 50 pant to a 38. None of my clothes fit.

What does this have to do with running? Well, one day, my best friend, a runner, took me out to a local park for a run one day. I didn't think I could run. Riding was natural and something I had done since I was knee-high, but running? No way! We started slow and made a lap around the park, taking in its beauty and talking as we ran. One mile became two and before I knew it, I ran 5 miles! I was so excited I went straight out and bought a brand new pair of running shoes and started mixing running with my bike rides.

Running became a way of life for me and now, here I am. I'm 43 years old, have completed a marathon and last year I did the impossible. As you may have noticed in my profile, my youngest daughter is a type-1 diabetic. I came up with the crazy notion I could do something to raise awareness if it was really radical. So, last November, I ran/walked 50 miles in one day down the I-40 access road and into town. It was quite a spectacle. It was definitely something I'll never forget.

The lesson is this: First, run with God and run after him. Second, if you're not perfect, so what? You can still run, or ride and get into shape. I weigh 240 right now and will do a 4-miler this evening before heading to my favorite coffee hangout.

I hope you'll frequent my blog site and confess a few of your struggles, or your favorite runs. I want to share my life with you and I hope you'll do the same.

That's my confession--what's yours?

God bless and Ever Forward!!!

--The Fat Runner