Worth the Weight

I have a very low tolerance of lazy people, but I can understand them. I struggle with bouts of laziness from time to time. Fat people in America have been shackled with the stereotype of being lazy by those who make no effort to understand them. One man's fat is another's skinny, in my opinion. When I say I have a low tolerance for laziness, I guess that comes from being a teacher. But, speaking as someone that once weighed over 300 lbs. I know what it's like to have people look at you weird and shout insults at you when you're out in public. Heck, I weigh 240 right now and still get idiots yelling at me while I'm running, "You need to run, fatboy!" I wonder if they could keep up. Doubtful.

The next time you see a fat person sitting on a bench or maybe slamming that burger in a restaurant, remember, there's a story there. That food may be the only friend that person has. Cap'n Crunch at least smiles at you when you pour it into the bowl. A Hostess Twinkie doesn't make fun of you on the playground. Devil's Food cake won't laugh at you while it's sitting on your plate. I found comfort in lots of these foods, and mac and cheese and pizza and donuts. None of them made fun of me--none! Behind every fat person there's a story of lousy self-esteem just waiting to be told. The more we eat, the less our self-esteem so we eat more. You get the picture.

Where does my intolerance for lazy come from? Well, here's my point. If you're fat, you don't have to stay that way. Will I ever look like an Olympic marathoner? No and I don't want to, either. I lost over 100 pounds and looked horrible at 195. My mom used to say my bones would weigh 200 pounds and she was right. I had friends telling me I needed to stop losing weight and maybe put back a few pounds. I really did look bad. Some people can lose weight and look great. I'm not one of them. When I got back up to 235 that was a decent weight for me and I did look pretty good. I never want to weight 300 pounds again--NEVER! But I now know how an anorexic feels. At 195 I would look in the mirror and still see the same fat guy I saw at 305. I'd tell my wife I need to lose more. I would constantly weigh myself and obsess over everything I ate. Does that sound like fun to you? At some point, enough was enough.

If you are fat you may never be America's Top Model and so freaking what? But you don't have to live a life that puts you in danger of dying of a heart attack. You can be healthy and still eat the foods you love. Just don't make love to those foods while you eat them. Do you know what I mean by that?

God has a plan for us. Sure he does. I don't think God wanted me to be unhappy at over 300 pounds and miserable because I always had to shop in the big and tall section. I wore a size 50 pant and a 3XL shirt and jacket. But, God does want me to share his story through my weight loss and glorify his name. I'm blessed to be able to run 3, 4, and even 5 miles at a time when at one time I could barely walk down the street without resting.

I'm lazy, by nature, and have to work hard at keeping my weight under control. It's a constant struggle, one I'm sure will go on until I die, or finally quit caring. But for right now I'm proud I'm a runner. I'm glad I don't weigh so much because I often wonder if I would still be alive today had I not lost all that weight. I owed that to my kids to be able to play with them and be there for their graduations.

Runners have heart attacks too, don't get me wrong. But if you're reading this and you're overweight, I understand. Read this again--I UNDERSTAND. God understands too. When you don't think you have a friend you do in Jesus, as the song goes. If you don't think you have anyone, write me. I'm only too happy to talk with you.

And for you runners that might have been overweight at one time and now you're thinner, never forget where you came from. And don't keep that to yourself. And don't let others make fun of overweight people. They're humans, just like you. You want respect and so do they.

I've been up and down, back and forth just in last five years trying to hang in there and stay below 250. It has been "worth the weight." I wouldn't trade the struggle for anything because, in the words of Coach Jimmy Duggan in "A League of Their Own," "it's the hard that makes it great."

That's my confession. What's yours?

God bless you!



TFR