Life is Good

I've had a lot on my mind this summer. Who am I kidding? I've had a lot on my mind and shoulders for two years now. In 2005, my wife had a stroke and my daughter almost died. We've been left with hospital bills, which were just about paid off when my youngest had a relapse from the depression of being a diabetic and poor management of her disease. After that, she wiped out her car and two others, and then her sister decided to get into act and total hers. My oldest daughter sustained a deep hematoma that became infected. She underwent surgery to drain it and lived on IV antibiotics for three weeks.

So, we've fought a spiritual and financial battle for close to two years now. Then, out of the blue, our cruddy health insurance provider tells us they aren't going to cover my daughter's stay in the hospital because we went to an out-of-network service. When the ambulance driver tells you he HAS to take you to that ER because it's a trauma, you really don't have much choice but to bail out of a vehicle moving at 50 mph. We're now fighting the insurance company to get them to pay. It's six of one, half dozen of another.

Yet, life is still good. My daughters are both healthy, finally, and we are all still alive. I have a great family, wonderful home, terrific friends, and cars that actually work. If you had told me 20 years ago I'd be living this life I wouldn't have believed you. Back then I was barely working, had a car that worked when it chose, and didn't have a window to throw it out of. God truly has blessed me.

I've been reading a lot about Job and how he dealt with all the adversity that came his way. A lot people think he had everything dumped on him unfairly. If you know the true story of Job, even though he praised God, he was a very prideful man. So am I, but all these little disasters have served to humble me and make me realize what and who I really worship. It's been a work in progress and hasn't taken overnight for me to understand how incredibly fortunate I am to have the life I've been given.

For the majority of my life, I would call myself a believer of God and follower of Christ, but if you were to examine the last 20-25 years of my existence you would find a picture completely counter to that claim. I have been prideful, arrogant, boasting, and flat out stubborn. When I don't get my way I complain and I've done nothing but gripe about my job for 5 years now. Not exactly the image of a person of humility and faith.

Like Job, God has been molding and shaping me--holding my feet to the fire, as it were. My resistance has been great, but I am weakening. The weight of my own pride is bringing me to my knees, literally.

Life is good, though. Life has always been good. I'm just too stupid to realize it. I've always been blessed. Sometimes things don't go our way, but it's always for a reason. There are no coincidences, my friends. Everything and I do mean EVERYTHING is part of God's plan. My wife's stroke, daughter's coma, both my kids' wrecks...heck, even the battle with the dumb insurance company will work to God's glory, no matter what.

I have no place in the pecking order and regardless of what I do, I'll never be good enough. No one is, no one can be. We have received grace, so I need to quit wasting my time wishing I was something else, or if I should've zigged instead of zagged. Life is too short...and life is good.

That's my confession. What's yours?

God bless and Ever Forward.



The Fat Runner